To Wipe or not to Wipe... (_o_)

[Altairion]

...as long as the paper comes away dirty, i'm still wiping... lol

Agreed.

 

[B_Spladle]

Now, the question is, do you wipe sitting down or standing up? My friends and I have had arguments about it, and it's pretty much split down the middle. Personally, standing up.

wtf? Who stands up to wipe?

 

[B_Spladle]

I guy I work with wipe standing up. I never saw that before. I almost asked him right then why he does that. It is so much easier wiping when you're sitting. The sitting position keeps the cheeks apart for easy wiping.

Seriously, someone get on here and defend this standing-up-to-wipe bullshit; it makes no sense to me.

What'd the guy tell you when you asked him?

 

[Pecker]

Why does a guy standing up to wipe himself remind me of a dog trying to catch his own tail?

 

[blc52877]

- My mom would not stop raving about the bidet when she got back from Kuwait, so I did some resurch and I now want to instal one in my bathroom.

- As a pre-schooler I learned quick to fold. I tried crumpling but too tight = poo on fingers, too loose = uncontroleable tissue especialy if the poo was sticky.

- I will curticy flush if I am taking too long or if the poo is too big/long/stinky.

- I clean with baby wipes and dry with t.p.

- As a female, I wipe from the toward the back. To qoute a friend, "don't want to mix the bad stuff into the good stuff"

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

Do you wipe from the front or the back? I wipe form the front.

I don't wipe from the front. Chocolate-covered nuts are not desirable in some situations. I wipe away from, not towards, the goodie bag.

 

[amhersthungboi]

Seriously, someone get on here and defend this standing-up-to-wipe bullshit; it makes no sense to me.

What'd the guy tell you when you asked him?

okay, this is like the most purile thread ever, but it's like a bloody car accident ... I just can't stop looking.

Honestly, I'd never heard of someone SITTING to wipe before ... the physics of it is mind boggling.

 

[D_alex8]

Honestly, I'd never heard of someone SITTING to wipe before ... the physics of it is mind boggling.

Thank goodness you said what I was thinking.
I need doubt my sanity no longer. :smile:

 

[Rikter8]

Im both a stander and a sitter. I'll sit wipe, then stand and make sure everything is crystal clean.

So there

Yes...this thread is a bit nasty...but its REAL, and its LIFE.

 

[Rikter8]

I don't wipe from the front. Chocolate-covered nuts are not desirable in some situations. I wipe away from, not towards, the goodie bag.

Hun... that was a bit TOO graphic... LOL

 

[Pappy]

How can you wipe standing up?? That would just smear what you are trying to wipe off. Sitting on the other hand you just reach back and wipe until you're clean.

 

[Big9]

How can you wipe standing up?? That would just smear what you are trying to wipe off. Sitting on the other hand you just reach back and wipe until you're clean.

You wipe the same way standing as you would sitting. You stand, perhaps bend over slightly to spread your cheeks, and wipe. It doesn't smear. You just wipe until the paper is clean, just like if you were sitting. Maybe everyone should switch methods just once to see what "the other side" is like. I bet that would answer most people's questions. If this post gets any more descriptive, its going to involve people taking pictures of their preferred method and I don't think any of us want that!!

 

[Pecker]

I hate to say this but it has become necessary. Sitting to wipe keeps the odor enclosed inside the bowl until the last possible moment. Standing to wipe broadcasts the odor (ugh!) all over the place.

*looks for can of Glade*

 

[B_horribleperson]

how about no one wipes for a week and see how many friends you have left at the end of the week.

they will be your true friends.

 

[B_Spladle]

Honestly, I'd never heard of someone SITTING to wipe before ... the physics of it is mind boggling.

wtf? You just have to lean a bit and then wipe. When you stand up your butt cheeks flex and come together. How the fuck are you supposed to wipe then?

 

[B_Spladle]

Hun... that was a bit TOO graphic... LOL

I thought it was kind of sexy, actually.

 

[B_Spladle]

how about no one wipes for a week and see how many friends you have left at the end of the week.

they will be your true friends.

Anyone who would be friends with me after I haven't wiped for a week is someone I don't want as my friend.

 

[SurferGirlCA]

This reminds me of a character in a Heinrich Böll novel that had the responsibility of making such inspections, in a convent as I recall. Böll noted (perhaps in jest) that given good health and proper diet, very little effort should be necessary to be cleansed, and toilet paper should be almost superfluous.

This is true. If you maintain a healthy diet, your body's natural functions do a very good job of taking care of things. Without getting too graphic, not only would you tend to eliminate waste in a timely manner, but also it would be fairly uniform in appearance/solidity. However, a lot of our food is overly processed and that really can gum up the works, so to speak. I'm kinda a hygiene freak, so I am fastidious about keeping clean, but my mom's a nutritionist so I had a good start in learning about food and our bodies.

 

[headbang8]

OK, now we're definitely into TMI.

Well Sorcerer, if the mere mention of the word haemorrhoid is TMI, then you will definitely not want to read the following. But I share it, because it's top of mind in the last week, and it's kind of tangentially relevant to the topic.

It seems that when you're tested for bowel cancer, you can't be squeamish talking about shit.

I went for a full physical last week at a fancy-schmantzy executive health clinic, at my employer's insistence. The doc took one look at me and read the riot act. Lose weight. Stop drinking. Get exercise (even though I aced the treadmill test).

The grand finale was the gloved finger up the wazoo. When that checked out OK, she turned to me and apologised, "I'm sorry to disappoint you, but we won't be able to do your colonoscopy today." Does she assume that all gay men are just hanging out for something new up their asses? Gee, I was so looking forward to it...

"You said in your questionnaire that you have a problem with snoring," she continued. "The muscle relaxant we use to relax your bowel can also have an effect on the muscles of the throat. If you suffer from sleep apnea, the procedure needs to be performed at a hospital that's equipped to intervene in case of asphyxiation." Apparently, there's the same risk if portly gentlemen use too many poppers.

"I noticed your haemorrhoids, so my suspicion is that you don't get enough fibre in your diet. So the test is quite urgent. Here," she said, handing me a packet, "we'll need a stool sample. Please mail it to me next week. "

Am I the only one to feel a little, uh, uncomfortable with that? If you have delicate sensibilities, you might like to STOP READING RIGHT HERE.

The packet was a kit that contained everything I would need for an "occult blood" test--a cardboard "specimen slide", several sheets of waxed paper and a brace of popsicle sticks. They asked that I spread the waxed paper on top of the water in the toilet, "deposit the sample" on it, and before I flushed the whole lot away, use a popsicle stick to smear a thin layer of fecal matter on the cardboard slide, "taking samples from several parts of the stool". The instructions said to allow this to dry in the open air (!) and repeat for the next two days. When done, I was to seal it in the special "biohazard" envelope and mail it to my doctor.

I dutifully collected the samples. When the time came to mail the envelope, I began to do what I usually do with personal mail, that is, get my secretary to post it for me. But I simply couldn't; even though it was sealed in accordance with the USPS guidelines for this sort of thing, and she would never know the contents, the idea of this poor woman handling someting that contained my shit was too much. I mailed it at the post office, and hope desperately that the package is handled by machine for its entire journey.

Dunno, to me this experience makes the preceding discussion about toilet paper seem almost genteel. And though I consider myself a pretty easy going guy, I was quite uptight about this whole episode. Needless to say, I have not yet made an appointment for the colonoscopy.

Anyone else had this experience? I guess I've reached the age where these sorts of tests will become routine. Oh, well...

 

[Rikter8]

GO and get the Colonoscopy.

Your health is way too important.

She is a Doctor. They see this stuff ALL the time.

Its not like she opens the envelope and says "EWW TOM SENT ME SHIT"

It goes to a lab, the Lab Writes a report, and your Doctor sees the results.

Ive got IBS, and may have to have this procedure done.
Im not ashamed, or Afraid. Id rather know whats goin on up there, than worry about the aches and pains, and fear the unknown.

C