Went to a nude/clothing opt swimming hole

[playklax01]

Demisexuals are not asexual because they experience sexual attraction. Demisexuality absolutely does not belong in the category of asexuality. It's just another form of being allosexual. I feel a need to gatekeep this for the exact same reason gay men feel a need to gatekeep what it means to be a gay man (men who are only sexually and/or romantically attracted to the same sex).

Gatekeeping is necessary because when it comes time for people like me to tell people I'm asexual it is imperative that they understand that it means under no circumstances whatsoever do I experience sexual attraction for others. It stops people from "trying anything with me" if they find themselves interested. It sets a clear boundary. It also helps with being taken seriously since the vast majority of human beings find it difficult to comprehend what it's like to never experience sexual attraction and consider us "defective."

Again, most people are "demisexual." Frankly, I don't even know why there is a label for a normal state of the human condition which is essentially saying, "I need to get to know you better and have a connection before I desire to have sex with you." In fact, most women function this way.

I think that society has become so hyper/oversexed that people who don't feel the need to hop into bed with someone on the first date are, incorrectly, thinking that something must be wrong with them or they're "different" just because they don't subscribe to the "tenets of hook-up culture." The media and porn would have one believe that the majority of people are into casual hook-ups when that is not necessarily the case, at all.

Demisexuality: Just A Normal Human Being

Whoa! All due respect, you're not the gatekeeper on this. Demisexual is absolutely under the Asexual spectrum, and yes, it's a spectrum. There are true asexuals, like yourself, and they're totally valid! I get you, I really do. What I don't get, or would call out, you saying that "most people are demisexual". No, they're not. And yes, I have described myself to others using the definition of demisexual, and they're like 'me too!'. No, it's different. It really is. WANTING or GETTING to know someone before you have sex with them is different than NEEDING to know them, FEELING a strong/definite connection, and then POSSIBLY having sex. If you don't feel this way yourself, you may not get it. Maybe some women feel like that, sure. I don't know about 'most', I don't think anyone can speak for 'most' of them or anyone.

I feel society in general is oversexed like you said, and yes, a lot of people will jump in the sack on the first date, or after just meeting, or instantly from a hookup app. I'm not like that, far from it! But some people will succumb to society's pressure, others will not. It's a totally personal thing, some couldn't care less about it, others do. If you're personally feeling pressure from it, that is a battle you need to handle yourself to start, you'll gain support as time moves forward. Feel free to ask for advice if needed, that's what we're all here for. And I'm not being condescending, I sometimes sound like that when in reality I'm the total opposite! When I came out as gay, I knew society didn't want that then (early 90s). Only I knew what I needed to do regarding myself. Fuck society! I was not going to conform.

 

[daftman]

Were you happy with yourself and comfortable being nude ? .....that’s all that matters

that for sure! For me, and my wife, a nude beach is really less about sex (we are cautious), and way more about the illicitness, the freedom, the open feel, the sensuality...I go with a cock ring, maybe some nipple jewelry. With the ocean, the exhibitionism, it is awesome. PS I am bi!