What is a "side"?

[WilliamG]

When you are looking at someone's online profile and they list "Side" as their thing... What would you expect?
And if you are a "Side"... What do are you open too? What's your preferences?

I ask as I'm seeing more listings of "Side" but with a complete range of bottom to top in description of what they like. Most it seems are never anal (give or take). But there are exceptions.

 

[winesthel945]

I usually interpret that to mean they will not be interested in anal sex, either giving or receiving. They may also not be into oral sex, but that's less common. In all cases, j/o and maybe some frot are how most people identifying as "side" are going to get off.

 

[VampiresRpeople2]

 

[borg1125]

I am quite happy this is now a thing. I never understood why if you like men you had to be into anal. Yuck. Hope the idea spreads.

 

[Boaxy]

Oh dear, side is not really a new term, but the word being in the community/having meaning/power is new, and there are still a zillion different definitions of "side" it seems;

What it generally means:Someone who doesn't normally/usually care for anal sex (topping and/or bottoming), but under certain conditions (maybe once a month, for their partners birthday etc.) will do it, and/or will only do it with certain people (people they trust/someone who is a serious partner/someone who they are committed to/no hookups etc.).

What it could also possibly usually mean:Someone who will do some forms of anal sex but not actual penetration/no rough insertion/penetration, (frot/frottage/rimming/fisting/finerging/dry dick riding on their partners ass/smacking their dick on their partners ass/very light anal contact/cuddling/rubbing dicks/if they do have butt/anal sex it's not rough, and it's more playing/rubbing/more Frot/messing around/massaging etc.

What it could mean as well:A gay man who does only oral/blowjobs and/or gay men who do non oral/anal sexual contact/relations, and do kink stuff, or guys who don't do anal/oral/kink, but aren't totally edged off from doing anything sexual or other etc.

What it could occasionally rarely mean:A gay man who doesn't have any type of sexual intimacy/contact period, and the only thing they do is probably hugging and kissing.

So the term "side" has become more well known, yet it's still convoluted. But generally refers to people who are adverse in some shape or form, to the stereotypical anal sex label/role gay/bi men have.

 

[Brodie888]

Side is generally referring to not being a top or a bottom. ie no anal sex

You can get tops or bottoms who don't do oral so really no oral is in a category of it's own.

 

[ILoveGames48]

usually a side earlier years was one guy or girl lays on side then a guy lays behind him/her chest to back and screw that way---now its ruined by someone saying a side is a person that doesnt like anal sex-----

 

[dana2]

At Thanksgiving there are some people who enjoy the side dishes more than the Turkey. Sides are people who prefer the aspects and activities of gay sex other than the usual "main course" for many gay men- anal sex. I consider myself a side but also enjoy anal sex occasionally, though it's usually not the main event for me like it is for some guys. I hate fooling around with a guy and after like 2 minutes of making out and foreplay they are like "Ok that's enough, let's fuck". I enjoy kissing and making out and exploring a guys body and oral and having long passionate sex sessions. Anal sex can be a part of it but usually it's not. I have been disappointed in my encounters with men that so many want to skip over what I think is extremely satisfying -making out, foreplay- and just immediately jump to the main course (anal).

 

[cordick]

question - would anyone recommending using lube for oral sex foreplay with another guy? Would that help the other partner feel better?

 

[LPSG Simon]

question - would anyone recommending using lube for oral sex foreplay with another guy? Would that help the other partner feel better?

I always thought that spit would be good enough, but if one were to try, I would recommend using coconut oil. It's got a wonderful texture, and doesnt make the receptive person's mouth feel / taste gross.

 

[ILoveGames48]

Lube in your mouth.. long as it is flavored lubes

 

[dana2]

question - would anyone recommending using lube for oral sex foreplay with another guy? Would that help the other partner feel better?

Lube is unnecessary for oral sex. Most men have enough saliva. If your mouth is dry drink a large glass of water. The idea of using lube during oral sex is extremely unappealing to me. Focus on what kind of oral stimulation is satisfying the cock-making it swell, making the guy moan. As I have always pointed out here when people ask for advice on oral sex, every cock is different in terms of the kind of stimulation that will bring it to orgasm.

 

[WilliamG]

At Thanksgiving there are some people who enjoy the side dishes more than the Turkey. Sides are people who prefer the aspects and activities of gay sex other than the usual "main course" for many gay men- anal sex. I consider myself a side but also enjoy anal sex occasionally, though it's usually not the main event for me like it is for some guys. I hate fooling around with a guy and after like 2 minutes of making out and foreplay they are like "Ok that's enough, let's fuck". I enjoy kissing and making out and exploring a guys body and oral and having long passionate sex sessions. Anal sex can be a part of it but usually it's not. I have been disappointed in my encounters with men that so many want to skip over what I think is extremely satisfying -making out, foreplay- and just immediately jump to the main course (anal).

Maybe the best explanation I've seen. "The side dish... Not the main course".

I get what you're saying about leaving out the foreplay. As a bi man as opposed to a gay one, I get my emotional cues from females. I tend to look at sex with another man as just that... Sex (good or bad). So I'm going to be one of those in a rush if you will. Plus it's usually in a car or out in the woods.

My ONE exception was with a young asian twink. Maybe it was the fem vibe coming off him. And maybe it was because I was in his bed in his home... I was able to spend some time going over his body. I even gave him some kisses (something I never thought I'd be doing). He said he was was a side in that he did not exchange fluids. But given the right situation he does anal with a condom. I should look him up again...

 

[Brodie888]

usually a side earlier years was one guy or girl lays on side then a guy lays behind him/her chest to back and screw that way---now its ruined by someone saying a side is a person that doesnt like anal sex-----

That's called spooning. I think in the past that was just cuddling in that shape but it's both now.

 

[Wildman2015]

I dated a side and didn't miss anal at all. We did everything else from making out while grinding, jerking each other off, playing with toys, and numerous blowjobs. He was a big fan of giving me road head, and that used to drive me crazy.

 

[playklax01]

usually a side earlier years was one guy or girl lays on side then a guy lays behind him/her chest to back and screw that way---now its ruined by someone saying a side is a person that doesnt like anal sex-----

Never heard of that one, and I've heard it all. Sounds like just a position preference and nothing more. Side means not into anal.

 

[playklax01]

Lube is unnecessary for oral sex. Most men have enough saliva. If your mouth is dry drink a large glass of water. The idea of using lube during oral sex is extremely unappealing to me. Focus on what kind of oral stimulation is satisfying the cock-making it swell, making the guy moan. As I have always pointed out here when people ask for advice on oral sex, every cock is different in terms of the kind of stimulation that will bring it to orgasm.

Yeah, lube for oral sex is just a hard no for me. Even the flavored ones are gross. There's saliva enhancers you can get at the drug store if you tend to run dry in the mouth.

 

[cordick]

Yeah, lube for oral sex is just a hard no for me. Even the flavored ones are gross. There's saliva enhancers you can get at the drug store if you tend to run dry in the mouth.

I tried lube and oral sex recently! Maybe I wasn't using enough lube but I actually couldn't quite taste the lube at all Plus my oral sex partner wasn't hot and I wasn't exactly into giving him oral...that's a story for another day I guess.

 

[Pepijn]

I consider myself side, as I am not so into anal. Love oral tho.

 

[cordick]

I consider myself side, as I am not so into anal. Love oral tho.

We should hang out when I am in the Netherlands