What does this mean, am I gay or what?

[Uksa2]

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how to describe my sexuality.

Without going into a huge history lesson, I broke up with my girlfriend last year and have been in a really fulfilling relationship with a guy for the past few months. I always knew from a pretty young age that I liked guys and certainly spent a lot of time secretly watching gay porn, wanking over hot guys I knew etc but always dated and had sexual relationships with women. I had a secret sexual relationship with a guy when I was 19/20 but I was straight for all intents and purposes.

After I broke up with my girlfriend, which was largely because we stopped getting along but undoubtedly partly because I really wanted to explore the gay scene, I went a few apps and had few casual gay encounters.

The second I kissed another guy and had my dick sucked, I knew that it wasn’t just a passing thing. It was like electricity going through me. I felt far more turned on being with a man than I ever did with a girl. Fact forward a few months and my boyfriend and I are steady and have a fantastic sex life. He’s blonde and has a great body and bum, so I’m lucky. I’m a top and he’s a bottom and he’s been happy to let me explore foot fetish stuff, which I love.

I’ve come out to everyone as bisexual and told my friends I’m with a guy but could see myself with a girl again in future. In my heart though, I now consider myself gay as that’s where 95% of my sexual interests and fantasies are.

I do still wank over hot women from time to time but it’s usually to pictures of their feet and ass rather than pussy. I’ve totally lost interest in pussy and have no active desire to have sex with women anymore but I still would if the chance was there.

So…… am I gay or bi?

 

[BifuriousJoel]

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how to describe my sexuality.

Without going into a huge history lesson, I broke up with my girlfriend last year and have been in a really fulfilling relationship with a guy for the past few months. I always knew from a pretty young age that I liked guys and certainly spent a lot of time secretly watching gay porn, wanking over hot guys I knew etc but always dated and had sexual relationships with women. I had a secret sexual relationship with a guy when I was 19/20 but I was straight for all intents and purposes.

After I broke up with my girlfriend, which was largely because we stopped getting along but undoubtedly partly because I really wanted to explore the gay scene, I went a few apps and had few casual gay encounters.

The second I kissed another guy and had my dick sucked, I knew that it wasn’t just a passing thing. It was like electricity going through me. I felt far more turned on being with a man than I ever did with a girl. Fact forward a few months and my boyfriend and I are steady and have a fantastic sex life. He’s blonde and has a great body and bum, so I’m lucky. I’m a top and he’s a bottom and he’s been happy to let me explore foot fetish stuff, which I love.

I’ve come out to everyone as bisexual and told my friends I’m with a guy but could see myself with a girl again in future. In my heart though, I now consider myself gay as that’s where 95% of my sexual interests and fantasies are.

I do still wank over hot women from time to time but it’s usually to pictures of their feet and ass rather than pussy. I’ve totally lost interest in pussy and have no active desire to have sex with women anymore but I still would if the chance was there.

So…… am I gay or bi?

That sounds like gay-leaning bi to me but as you can see from this post, I'm hardly an expert. I've wondered if I'll ever have that "aha!" moment of self-realization about liking men because I've always had zero interest in being in a romantic relationship with a man and zero interest in even having sex with 98% of men I see out and about.

I guess I'm curious about having sex with a really hot, really ripped guy but it's more about like the sensory experience: I want to know what a six-pack feels like to the touch lol. And sure, I kind of want to suck a dick to see what all the fuss is about. But as far as seeing myself like going out on dates with a man or being all lovey-dovey with a man? I don't see it, at least not right now.

 

[lycraluvr223]

So here's my deal:

All my life I've only had crushes (or "fallen in love," whatever) on women. Had an unrequited crush on a female friend in high school, had a considerably stronger unrequited crush on a close female friend in college.

Now, this part is pretty embarrassing. Some months ago I've developed a slight...obsession with a female IG model. It's not a parasocial relationship. It may sound douchebaggy but I only care for her looks, I don't even comment on her posts, so it's not like that, it's purely superficial. However, I have a folder full of her pictures and I can spend hours looking through her pics online, saving them to my computer, etc. Recently on another forum someone said there's a rumor that she's starting an OF and I swear my heart SKIPPED A BEAT like never before, which is pretty lame, getting so freakishly excited about that. So, to say I'm into how this chick looks would be an understatement. I think she's the most beautiful woman in the world and I would look at her pics and literally think that's the sexiest thing I've seen in my life, like it's another level.

HOWEVER...

Most of the times, especially recently, I get horny about her and try to jerk off to one of her pics...and I can't. I don't get hard enough, even when I'm literally thinking her pics are the hottest shit I've seen. So what do I do? I jerk off to pics of hot dudes.

Yeah, plot twist: Ever since I've been jerking off, I've done it to men as well as women, more often to men, actually. Henry Cavill, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, Alan Ritchson, sometimes gay porn. I cum in seconds, most of the time. But there's no...allure, no strong attraction. It's almost mechanical. I rarely get horny enough about dudes to want to jerk off to them, you know what I mean? Like I never think, "Oooh, let's masturbate to Chris Hemsworth!" That's only what I turn to after I can't jerk off to pics of women, which is what got me horny in the first place and what I wanted to do. And I feel bad afterwards, not in a "gay is a sin" kind of way but in a "I didn’t actually WANT that" kind of way. (I should note here, I have no problem cumming to straight/lesbian porn, it's just pictures that give that problem, which I don't have with pictures of men. It's ridiculous, I can easily cum to pictures of just a hot dude's face but not to the hottest girl I've seen showing her amazing ass).

I know many bi men prefer men sexually if not emotionally or romantically, but if you made me choose between a bed full of hot dudes and a bed full of hot girls...well, ngl, I would think about it a bit, but in the end I'd choose the girls. So what the hell? Why is my dick only into dudes??

The way I see it, there are 2 options:

1) I'm clearly gay and I should abandon this pathetic denial and start thinking about dating men, even though I've never had so much as a crush on a guy (well, there's this guy at the gym that kinda catches my eye but I think that's mostly cause he was really nice to me one time and that's literally all it takes for me to like someone)

Or...

2) I'm bi, leaning straight, but I have some kind of weird mental block, like performance anxiety even when jerking off to women and I find it easier to jerk off to men because there's no real desire or attachment there.

What do you think?

I think there's a scale to all this. A sliding scale because I think we share many similarities but we both have some kind of lingering mystery. Growing up had crushes on only girls. The thought of a guy in never entered my mind. Years ago by I'm in the army, drunk ,at the strip joints off post. Wander in the bookstore video booth. Start watching a white girl seduce an Asian girl. I noticed a hole and peeked thru. In that state of mind, drunk, and horny I saw in the flickering light a guy slowly pulling on his cut cock. I was mesmerized staring at it like I never knew it existed. I got nervous and looked away. I thought the texture of his spongy cock was beautiful, even the shape. When his cock poked thru I was drawn to it. No thought at all I touch ,stroke lick and suck. After a bit I ask for my turn and I put it in the hole. Suddenly his mouth furiously sucked like an industrial machine and I came quickly. I got nervous, tried to bail but he caught me in the hallway asking if I could go home with him. Said I couldn't and return to base. I put it out of mind like it never happened at all. Just forgot about it. Two decades go by, had girlfriends no thought about guys at all. I send for a soloflex brochure. Something about the cover did something to me. The guy turned me on. I draw and add a cock so it's 3 d like a pop up card. Why am I drawing cocks all of the sudden. Then I remember the glory hole encounter and it occurred to me that there's a connection. A delayed one. So I pull up the memory and end up drawing a story board of then. Now I'm really getting into cocks but at the same time using art as a way to understand these new feelings. Am I gay or bi? I've been on here for over five years and still haven't gotten an answer. I have yet to suck a cock other than a dildo. It's like unfinished business to me. Question pops up like what if I did go then where or what would I be. I found this place looking for quality cock pics for reference. Was a long time before I interacted with anyone here but I'm glad I did.

 

[mmmniple]

So here's my deal:

All my life I've only had crushes (or "fallen in love," whatever) on women. Had an unrequited crush on a female friend in high school, had a considerably stronger unrequited crush on a close female friend in college.

Now, this part is pretty embarrassing. Some months ago I've developed a slight...obsession with a female IG model. It's not a parasocial relationship. It may sound douchebaggy but I only care for her looks, I don't even comment on her posts, so it's not like that, it's purely superficial. However, I have a folder full of her pictures and I can spend hours looking through her pics online, saving them to my computer, etc. Recently on another forum someone said there's a rumor that she's starting an OF and I swear my heart SKIPPED A BEAT like never before, which is pretty lame, getting so freakishly excited about that. So, to say I'm into how this chick looks would be an understatement. I think she's the most beautiful woman in the world and I would look at her pics and literally think that's the sexiest thing I've seen in my life, like it's another level.

HOWEVER...

Most of the times, especially recently, I get horny about her and try to jerk off to one of her pics...and I can't. I don't get hard enough, even when I'm literally thinking her pics are the hottest shit I've seen. So what do I do? I jerk off to pics of hot dudes.

Yeah, plot twist: Ever since I've been jerking off, I've done it to men as well as women, more often to men, actually. Henry Cavill, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, Alan Ritchson, sometimes gay porn. I cum in seconds, most of the time. But there's no...allure, no strong attraction. It's almost mechanical. I rarely get horny enough about dudes to want to jerk off to them, you know what I mean? Like I never think, "Oooh, let's masturbate to Chris Hemsworth!" That's only what I turn to after I can't jerk off to pics of women, which is what got me horny in the first place and what I wanted to do. And I feel bad afterwards, not in a "gay is a sin" kind of way but in a "I didn’t actually WANT that" kind of way. (I should note here, I have no problem cumming to straight/lesbian porn, it's just pictures that give that problem, which I don't have with pictures of men. It's ridiculous, I can easily cum to pictures of just a hot dude's face but not to the hottest girl I've seen showing her amazing ass).

I know many bi men prefer men sexually if not emotionally or romantically, but if you made me choose between a bed full of hot dudes and a bed full of hot girls...well, ngl, I would think about it a bit, but in the end I'd choose the girls. So what the hell? Why is my dick only into dudes??

The way I see it, there are 2 options:

1) I'm clearly gay and I should abandon this pathetic denial and start thinking about dating men, even though I've never had so much as a crush on a guy (well, there's this guy at the gym that kinda catches my eye but I think that's mostly cause he was really nice to me one time and that's literally all it takes for me to like someone)

Or...

2) I'm bi, leaning straight, but I have some kind of weird mental block, like performance anxiety even when jerking off to women and I find it easier to jerk off to men because there's no real desire or attachment there.

What do you think?

You are simply a sexual being. Forget about labels and enjoy whatever you want

 

[Dj901]

Don't go chasing around a headless chicken. Feelings and emotions need to be supplanted with doing. You may need to have some experiences, good ones, to understand where you're at in life.