When They Don't Want Your Wants..

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Using "they" as the pronoun because not all relationship histories are heterosexual... If anyone was wondering.

Kinda a threefer/nuanced question.

-If you have a really strong interest and or desire to live out a certain sexual act with a new(er) partner and they don't consent do you at any point continue to ask them to participate in that act?

-If you have been with someone long term and they stop having interest in a particular sex act you still very much enjoy what do you do about it, if anything? Assuming multiple discussions have been had as to the reasons they no longer want to do that specific thing for whatever reason.

-Do you ever question their reasoning, meaning after they've told you why they don't want to do it anymore?

I'll add some answers as a woman after I get a few from the other ladies

 

[LaFemme]

The only sex act I don’t think I could do without is penetration. The rest? If my partner isn’t into it, I can live without. There’s no reason to whine about, try to convince him, coerce, beg, etc.

I have always been high libido. I’ve been mismatched with very low libido men. I lived with it, even if it meant sex once a month or less. Is that my preference? Nope. But it is what it is.

Initially, I wanted to know why. But at this point in my life, I couldn’t care less. Do it or don’t do it. I’ll deal with my frustration in my own way.

 

[Holly Doors]

I'm not really in a position to answer properly, however, I enjoy a wonderful physical sexual relationship with my husband, there's nothing sexually we're not both still happy with and enjoy doing for each other, if anything we're more adventurous than we were as I always push a little to keep things fresh. My husband is more than happy with the usual, altho he's not overly adventurous when it comes to kinks and fetish's. I've always had an interest in bdsm and my dominant side altho not necessarily in my personal relationships as I prefer my partner to be the dominant one, for a long time now I've been able to express my darker desires within our extra curricula sexual activities, without going into too much detail and pandemic aside of course we've always done things with other couples as a couple. For a long time now we've met with couples who like to lead a particular lifestyle and while my husband is with the women I've been able to exploit the particular scenario to experiment with my more dominant darker side by preforming femdom with the men.
I'm not suggesting that it's anything anyone should take up unless they're both happy to experiment, simply it's a dynamic we've always been in and I've been able to use it to fulfil my desires for things I wouldn't want to do with my hubby and he wouldn't want to do anyway.

 

[TinyPrincess]

Pretty much on board with that answer.

Haven't had sex for 1½ years now, so actually think I might be able to live completely without sex if I really had to. I don't envy the first guy I pick for sex after this dryspell - he's going to be ravished until he's completely dry

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Even though it’s a “rule” to not do so, I fish in Lake Vanilla.
Because I’m pretty tame.
I have zero fetishes.
A couple of kinks.
Weirdly, most “vanillas” do, at some level, too.

So if I want to do Y, and he doesn’t, I respect that and don’t let it get in the way. I can do without Y, but I don’t want to do without him.
I expect the same when he pops up with R, and it dries me out just thinking about it.

That said, GGG is in play.

 

[EllieP]

Now that I'm a half a century old I'm hoping my curiosity for new hasn't waned. While we flirt with the edges of vanilla we're still wild enough in our own activities that no one leaves unsatisfied.

But after a particularly long dry spell we finally spent a romantic weekend together at a B&B at the ocean. And that's when I made up my mind that I would do something for him at the cost of my last bastion of virginity. I thought I had all of the prep bases covered, but I neglected to consider the laws of physics.

He seemed both surprised and concerned that I wanted to try, and I'll have to emphasize "try" here because while the spirit is willing, etc. etc.

Physics and weak flesh trump desire. But we gave it our best efforts. Fortunately, we got a good laugh out of the whole situation, but he asked me why in the world would I even want to try that. I said because I thought you'd like it.

He seemed shocked and said "I never wanted to do anything like that! I was doing it because you wanted to."

I guess I watched too much porn.

 

[Silmende]

I would never.