Why Do Some Guys Blame Others For Their Sexual Curiosity?

[more_guy2004]

If I had to have a label put on me, it would be closeted but curious.

A few years ago, an ex-coworker and I were chatting on social media. He was like 19–20 at the time. I was older. But were legit close friends. We’d joke around about various things. But the gay subject was always off limits as he was very straight. Or so I thought.

One day I told him that if he didn’t do something (what I don’t remember) that I was going to send him a naked pic. We laughed at my comment and that was the end of it.

Then a few nights later I’m lying in bed and I get a snap from him. And when I opened it, it was an unsolicited picture of his penis! Again I laughed and never thought anymore about it. But that at least let me know he was most likely curious.

So I returned the favor and sent him a pic of my penis. This went on for a few weeks. But it never went any farther than that. Then all at once he blocked me on social media without an explanation. He would not return calls. Nor would he answer any texts sent to him.

I’m assuming that he felt guilty for exposing his curiousness.

Then I had a cousin, who was straight and had been married and divorced a couple of times. Late one night, I get a snap from him. I opened it - and it too was an unsolicited pic of his penis!! This caught me totally off guard. But again it let me know that he was most likely curious. So just as the first guy, we exchanged a few pics over the next several months. But again, it never went any farther than that. Then all of a sudden, he gets into a relationship with another female. He lied to me about it. But I found out about it. Just like the first guy, he blocks me on social media and stops all contact. Again I’m assuming he felt guilty about his sexual curiosity.

And it happens again. This time with a very close friend who was more like a brother.

He was the son of a minister. He attended church and all ,but there was a side of him that his parents were not aware. He had a bit of a wild streak on occasion.

He had just recently moved to another state at the time. And one night I get a snap from him. And he said “I need to talk to you but it has to stay between us.” Of course I agreed. He responded “I wonder what it would be like to suck another guy’s penis?” I had suspected that he was curious months before but the subject rarely came up. And when it did he always played the “extreme” straight role. So even though I somewhat expected it, I was still shocked. Immediately after he told me that, he stopped chatting.

The next day I get another snap from him apologizing. He said he was drunk and he really didn’t mean it. I didn’t believe that, but whatever.

Sometime later, he and his family move back here. So our friendship picked up right where it left off. I still felt that he was curious, but I never brought it up that often. And if it did come up, it was done in a joking manner.

Then one night last summer, I get a snap from him. I can’t remember his opening messages but it was definitely perverted. Then he asked me “do you want to see a pic? It’s an older one but it is me.” Trying to help him come out of the closet, I said “sure.” So he sends me one. And over the next few minutes, we send several back and forth.

Then a couple of days later, he messaged me and once again apologized and said that he was drunk and that he didn’t mean any of it; and he too blocks me on social media and ends our friendship. He too was ashamed of his curiosity.

Why do guys do that? It’s like they blame someone else, often those to whom they are closest, for their own sexual curiosity. And as a result they end friendships and end contact with the other person.

I could understand if they had “outed” themselves to a stranger, but to their closest of friends or close family, I just don’t get it.

 

[mrjobuddy]

Are you gay?

 

[bravesoldier]

If I had to have a label put on me, it would be closeted but curious.

A few years ago, an ex-coworker and I were chatting on social media. He was like 19–20 at the time. I was older. But were legit close friends. We’d joke around about various things. But the gay subject was always off limits as he was very straight. Or so I thought.

One day I told him that if he didn’t do something (what I don’t remember) that I was going to send him a naked pic. We laughed at my comment and that was the end of it.

Then a few nights later I’m lying in bed and I get a snap from him. And when I opened it, it was an unsolicited picture of his penis! Again I laughed and never thought anymore about it. But that at least let me know he was most likely curious.

So I returned the favor and sent him a pic of my penis. This went on for a few weeks. But it never went any farther than that. Then all at once he blocked me on social media without an explanation. He would not return calls. Nor would he answer any texts sent to him.

I’m assuming that he felt guilty for exposing his curiousness.

Then I had a cousin, who was straight and had been married and divorced a couple of times. Late one night, I get a snap from him. I opened it - and it too was an unsolicited pic of his penis!! This caught me totally off guard. But again it let me know that he was most likely curious. So just as the first guy, we exchanged a few pics over the next several months. But again, it never went any farther than that. Then all of a sudden, he gets into a relationship with another female. He lied to me about it. But I found out about it. Just like the first guy, he blocks me on social media and stops all contact. Again I’m assuming he felt guilty about his sexual curiosity.

And it happens again. This time with a very close friend who was more like a brother.

He was the son of a minister. He attended church and all ,but there was a side of him that his parents were not aware. He had a bit of a wild streak on occasion.

He had just recently moved to another state at the time. And one night I get a snap from him. And he said “I need to talk to you but it has to stay between us.” Of course I agreed. He responded “I wonder what it would be like to suck another guy’s penis?” I had suspected that he was curious months before but the subject rarely came up. And when it did he always played the “extreme” straight role. So even though I somewhat expected it, I was still shocked. Immediately after he told me that, he stopped chatting.

The next day I get another snap from him apologizing. He said he was drunk and he really didn’t mean it. I didn’t believe that, but whatever.

Sometime later, he and his family move back here. So our friendship picked up right where it left off. I still felt that he was curious, but I never brought it up that often. And if it did come up, it was done in a joking manner.

Then one night last summer, I get a snap from him. I can’t remember his opening messages but it was definitely perverted. Then he asked me “do you want to see a pic? It’s an older one but it is me.” Trying to help him come out of the closet, I said “sure.” So he sends me one. And over the next few minutes, we send several back and forth.

Then a couple of days later, he messaged me and once again apologized and said that he was drunk and that he didn’t mean any of it; and he too blocks me on social media and ends our friendship. He too was ashamed of his curiosity.

Why do guys do that? It’s like they blame someone else, often those to whom they are closest, for their own sexual curiosity. And as a result they end friendships and end contact with the other person.

I could understand if they had “outed” themselves to a stranger, but to their closest of friends or close family, I just don’t get it.

I believe these guys may be like someone I know. They possibly have secret same sex desires (that has somewhat come to surface) but deep down they are DEATHLY afraid of admitting they are secretly bi or gay, and more so, acting on their desires on day. Then they might blame someone else, even though the desire and/or weakness is their own.

 

[playklax01]

I believe these guys may be like someone I know. They possibly have secret same sex desires (that has somewhat come to surface) but deep down they are DEATHLY afraid of admitting they are secretly bi or gay, and more so, acting on their desires on day. Then they might blame someone else, even though the desire and/or weakness is their own.

Agree! They're afraid of themselves and are battling a war inside their heads. I've run into guys like this too over the years. I don't think necessarily that they're blaming you, but that they're blaming themselves about something they think is 'wrong' and want to forget it ever happened. But they'll end up doing the same thing to someone else, and someone else, until maybe they're brave enough to face it.

 

[Brodie888]

This is pretty common. It goes something like this:

Guy who has suppressed bisexual tendencies hasn't had sex or masturbated in a while, gets really horny. So horny he goes into the darkest dirtiest drawer in his mind and pulls out the gay sex card.

Guy blows a huge load exploring gay sex. The Hulk turns back to Bruce Bannner. His logical brain takes back control from his primal brain and he feels guilt, remorse, regret and disgust at what he's done. This is internalized socially conditioned homophobia. He thinks he has done something wrong, when he's just doing something natural to him.

So the solution to this guilt is to purge/burn/dispose of any evidence and deny it ever happened.

The problem is that the monster returns every time they get crazy horny though. So yes, at times they may come back to you. But more likely they will find someone else so they aren't reminded about the last time they indulged.

Some guys never change, some guys come out to themselves and accept they are bisexual.

 

[Brodie888]

It's not that they blame you. They are just blocking you out of their life because they are afraid that you will out them to everyone else they know.

 

[ASK JEFF]

Hummmm…okay, honey, here it goes…and ALWAYS WITH LOVE.

1) The guys sending you their cock pics may be insecure, may be questioning, may think it’s funny, etc. With that, who cares? You’ll never know their motivation. Don’t be a doormat for men who want to send you something then just clam up, and unfriend you over a few pictures.

2) Unless you’re an eighteen year old with a new phone and giggling over photos of a dick, stop sending your own dick pics! Why? To me, that’s kinda silly at this stage of life.

3) The guys will figure out their sexuality out themselves. Maybe they’ll get married…call it a “phase”. Who knows and who cares?

Move on to something more constructive, not destructive.

kisses on all your pink parts
JEFF

 

[windibundu]

Psychological projection - Wikipedia

 

[Uuubored]

I feel this scenario big time! For me it’s guys I meet online and chat with. I’m sloooowly learning (I’m old but a slow learner!) to not take it personally. I’m not repulsive or fat or too effeminate or whatever I might worry about. Like a number said here already, it’s them struggling through stuff.
The tough question imho is will they come around to me again or will they have to find someone new next time they want to get off with a guy?
so I try to just roll with the punches—enjoy if I can but don’t get invested. If a guy only is attracted to you when he’s horny… it’s not going to be a meaningful connection or worth your time.
Enjoy the connection but remember it’s going to be easy come easy go. There’s other guys out there. Better guys.

 

[ManchesterTom]

If I had to have a label put on me, it would be closeted but curious.

A few years ago, an ex-coworker and I were chatting on social media. He was like 19–20 at the time. I was older. But were legit close friends. We’d joke around about various things. But the gay subject was always off limits as he was very straight. Or so I thought.

One day I told him that if he didn’t do something (what I don’t remember) that I was going to send him a naked pic. We laughed at my comment and that was the end of it.

Then a few nights later I’m lying in bed and I get a snap from him. And when I opened it, it was an unsolicited picture of his penis! Again I laughed and never thought anymore about it. But that at least let me know he was most likely curious.

So I returned the favor and sent him a pic of my penis. This went on for a few weeks. But it never went any farther than that. Then all at once he blocked me on social media without an explanation. He would not return calls. Nor would he answer any texts sent to him.

I’m assuming that he felt guilty for exposing his curiousness.

Then I had a cousin, who was straight and had been married and divorced a couple of times. Late one night, I get a snap from him. I opened it - and it too was an unsolicited pic of his penis!! This caught me totally off guard. But again it let me know that he was most likely curious. So just as the first guy, we exchanged a few pics over the next several months. But again, it never went any farther than that. Then all of a sudden, he gets into a relationship with another female. He lied to me about it. But I found out about it. Just like the first guy, he blocks me on social media and stops all contact. Again I’m assuming he felt guilty about his sexual curiosity.

And it happens again. This time with a very close friend who was more like a brother.

He was the son of a minister. He attended church and all ,but there was a side of him that his parents were not aware. He had a bit of a wild streak on occasion.

He had just recently moved to another state at the time. And one night I get a snap from him. And he said “I need to talk to you but it has to stay between us.” Of course I agreed. He responded “I wonder what it would be like to suck another guy’s penis?” I had suspected that he was curious months before but the subject rarely came up. And when it did he always played the “extreme” straight role. So even though I somewhat expected it, I was still shocked. Immediately after he told me that, he stopped chatting.

The next day I get another snap from him apologizing. He said he was drunk and he really didn’t mean it. I didn’t believe that, but whatever.

Sometime later, he and his family move back here. So our friendship picked up right where it left off. I still felt that he was curious, but I never brought it up that often. And if it did come up, it was done in a joking manner.

Then one night last summer, I get a snap from him. I can’t remember his opening messages but it was definitely perverted. Then he asked me “do you want to see a pic? It’s an older one but it is me.” Trying to help him come out of the closet, I said “sure.” So he sends me one. And over the next few minutes, we send several back and forth.

Then a couple of days later, he messaged me and once again apologized and said that he was drunk and that he didn’t mean any of it; and he too blocks me on social media and ends our friendship. He too was ashamed of his curiosity.

Why do guys do that? It’s like they blame someone else, often those to whom they are closest, for their own sexual curiosity. And as a result they end friendships and end contact with the other person.

I could understand if they had “outed” themselves to a stranger, but to their closest of friends or close family, I just don’t get it.

I'm going out on a limb here. The picture they sent to you, they controlled the transaction and could control whatever they needed. Maybe they showed interest in receiving a pic, but they might suddenly realise that they might just get another pic which could be intercepted if their phone was left lying around. This could cause the receiver issues. The old adage '' it's better to give than to receive. ''

I think it's really about keeping your friend feeling really safe and secure.

 

[Almost40]

Isn't that what we call a lack of freaking education???

They don't like bananas, then move on , its a no brainer...

 

[thatdudefromhell]

ugh plss, this brings up so many memories of mine, at least 8 *straight* friends who engaged in oral stuff with me, and all are sober btw, and then when we graduated, they all pretended like it never happened and blocked me on social media even tho they were the instigators when it happened. And I normally am a flirty guy even if we've never messed around, everyone who knows me knows that, and one day I sent a suggestive message to one of them, (we had been talking for a while before that, and normal type of message you'd expect to get from me btw, not even super flirty or whatever) and he blocked me too like bruh

 

[Sklar]

If I had to have a label put on me, it would be closeted but curious.

A few years ago, an ex-coworker and I were chatting on social media. He was like 19–20 at the time. I was older. But were legit close friends. We’d joke around about various things. But the gay subject was always off limits as he was very straight. Or so I thought.

One day I told him that if he didn’t do something (what I don’t remember) that I was going to send him a naked pic. We laughed at my comment and that was the end of it.

Then a few nights later I’m lying in bed and I get a snap from him. And when I opened it, it was an unsolicited picture of his penis! Again I laughed and never thought anymore about it. But that at least let me know he was most likely curious.

So I returned the favor and sent him a pic of my penis. This went on for a few weeks. But it never went any farther than that. Then all at once he blocked me on social media without an explanation. He would not return calls. Nor would he answer any texts sent to him.

I’m assuming that he felt guilty for exposing his curiousness.

Then I had a cousin, who was straight and had been married and divorced a couple of times. Late one night, I get a snap from him. I opened it - and it too was an unsolicited pic of his penis!! This caught me totally off guard. But again it let me know that he was most likely curious. So just as the first guy, we exchanged a few pics over the next several months. But again, it never went any farther than that. Then all of a sudden, he gets into a relationship with another female. He lied to me about it. But I found out about it. Just like the first guy, he blocks me on social media and stops all contact. Again I’m assuming he felt guilty about his sexual curiosity.

And it happens again. This time with a very close friend who was more like a brother.

He was the son of a minister. He attended church and all ,but there was a side of him that his parents were not aware. He had a bit of a wild streak on occasion.

He had just recently moved to another state at the time. And one night I get a snap from him. And he said “I need to talk to you but it has to stay between us.” Of course I agreed. He responded “I wonder what it would be like to suck another guy’s penis?” I had suspected that he was curious months before but the subject rarely came up. And when it did he always played the “extreme” straight role. So even though I somewhat expected it, I was still shocked. Immediately after he told me that, he stopped chatting.

The next day I get another snap from him apologizing. He said he was drunk and he really didn’t mean it. I didn’t believe that, but whatever.

Sometime later, he and his family move back here. So our friendship picked up right where it left off. I still felt that he was curious, but I never brought it up that often. And if it did come up, it was done in a joking manner.

Then one night last summer, I get a snap from him. I can’t remember his opening messages but it was definitely perverted. Then he asked me “do you want to see a pic? It’s an older one but it is me.” Trying to help him come out of the closet, I said “sure.” So he sends me one. And over the next few minutes, we send several back and forth.

Then a couple of days later, he messaged me and once again apologized and said that he was drunk and that he didn’t mean any of it; and he too blocks me on social media and ends our friendship. He too was ashamed of his curiosity.

Why do guys do that? It’s like they blame someone else, often those to whom they are closest, for their own sexual curiosity. And as a result they end friendships and end contact with the other person.

I could understand if they had “outed” themselves to a stranger, but to their closest of friends or close family, I just don’t get it.

I know I am going to get flamed here, BUT...

It is not your responsibility to help someone come out of the closet.

It's theirs.

Being a late bloomer myself, I came out at 33, I totally understand that desire to be who I am.

But it's not YOUR responsibility to facilitate that.

Instead of playing into their desires, instead of playing into your desires, just offer them a safe space/venue, that they feel comfortable with.

To me, by sending pictures of yourself back, seems incredibly unprofessional, when someone is asking for help.

And you kept repeating it, getting the same results.

Blocked.

How about actually being their friend instead of sending dick pictures back to them?

Sklar

 

[PutItInHere691]

I won’t sit here and say all straight men are curious but a lot of them are ..

and I have friends that know I am gay.. everyone in my neighborhood knows I am gay.. I been out of the closet as long as I can remember .. I never even considered myself in the closet ..

So guys know you’re gay they will say we can be friends but nothing will happen between us. I am fine with that as can’t go fucking everyone you know

this one guy got hired at work .. oh travis( fake name by the way) he comes into the place very nice smile sexy bluish green eyes dark eyebrows and short curly black hair .. he wasn’t buff .. but looked solid from shirt he was wearing .. the pants light brown khaki pants as that’s what we had to wear but those pants showed off one major nice bubble butt .. I had to bend over a little so no one can see I was getting hard for this hot ass ..

Even though he barely showed in the front area( his crotch ) but I tend to love rimming a nice ass forever than sucking dick( even though I’ll do plenty of that.. it’s just that the size doesn’t bother me )

the floor ( work area/ work force) consisted of only 14 people plus 4 guys that set up the machines that they run .. I was one of the four and my machines were three in the back.. easiest in the building and left me free time to help on other machines plus sit around and talk to my operators …

There were times he’d be bitching to quit looking at his ass while I was working on his machine.. no matter how nice a person has.. you concentrate on the machine .. nothing else.. or lose a hand of finger ..

so we got into an arguement about it and the boss comes over wanting to know what’s wrong.. he says he wanted to be out with someone else.. my boss told him these machines are the easy jobs then as get used to the work you’ll be put in other machines.

Travis got pissed.. I told my boss he just didn’t want to take orders from me.. and my boss looks at him and tells him he will be back here until he learns we all work together.. gay straight black or white.. .. the more product we get done the better bonuses mid year ..
Don’t work together no bonus ..


few weeks of this shit I began running his machine faster in hopes he’d quit.. .. that night after work. We were clocking out and a co worker and I were talking and laughing and he thought laughing about him.. so he comes up knocks me on the ground before I knew it hitting my face..

He gave me a bloody lip.. bloody nose and a black eye ..


the next day we were called into the office and they were ready to fire him.. he’s begging please don’t fire me.. I need this job… blah blah blah ..


I signed papers and he looks at me.. like I was signing papers of what happened .. but it wasn’t.. it was papers to put him under 30 evaluation .. and don’t fire him.. they asked if I was sure..


then I told him that me and my co worker wasn’t laughing at him. But laughing at another co worker got his lunch… sat it on a table next to the machine and this stray dog came in took off with his food ..


so it was then he reached his hand out and I reached mine out and we shaked hands and he pulled me against him and hugged me seriously apologizing looking like he was about to cry ..

Few weeks later his evaluation was up and he did wonderful.. and we got along a lot more .. even to point he’d let me pick him up on way to work and ride in together ..

but then he’d start asking .. when I know I was gay who was my first .. who did what and so on..

And it seemed this talk made him understand me more and possibly be more open to things .. that I didn’t know..

One night at work he didn’t show up.. didn’t even call in.. which wasn’t like him.. I felt a vibration in my pocket.. ( it was my phone) — it was him calling saying he needed help.. turned out he still lived with his parents and his dad takes his check and gives him 100 to put gas in his car and buy lunch ….

Well he says he needed a ride .. so I told my boss I’ll clock out and go get him.. he says stay clocked and pick up lunch on way back .. took up an order for steak house and went to get him…

I get there and his car is busted all to pieces .. his dad said he bought it.. it was his and took a sledgehammer to it …

tbc got to fix dinner

 

[PutItInHere691]

Ok dinners done.. hard to get anything done when. Got 4 hungry mouths to feed

.. anyhow .. I went to talk to his dad about it .. told him he destroyed that car and it belonged to Travis.. he says he paid for the g d thing .. I said yeah but his names on title making him owner of vehicle .. and I’m going to call a buddy of mine.. he’s a lawyer .. and see what can be done about it ..


I told him his son could have him arrested for destruction of property .. .. I went to call the law but Travis said not too ..

He says he was sorry and he’d replace the car .. .. I told him 48 hours .. and we went in for all of his clothes and tv and game consoles and stuff put in back of my truck ..




Then Travis and I stopped picked up lunch .. I paid for his and said he didn’t know what he was going to do.. I told him I had a lower deck.. rented it out few times but not renting it at the moment .. that he can stay there until gets back on his feet ..

his dad shows up the next day at work and with a buddy of his ..

Had this nice for f-150 X- tend cab 4 wheel drive .. all the trimmings.. .. Travis was looking at it and thought about buying it .. .. said here’s the title .. sign it and get it legal ..

His dad left with the buddy that came with him and he looks over the truck.. and he turns toward me hugs me harder than I had ever been hugged in my life.. and was crying..

everyone was wondering what was going on.. we told them and I said it pays to have friends in high places ..


We got off work and we drove to my place .. garage big enough for his truck and mine .. then we took his stuff to the bottom floor and showed him around .. his own kitchen bath bedroom .. living room … then set of stairs that comes upstairs to my place which is another 2 stories high ..

We worked on putting his clothes up .. made the bed .. he needed towels. And washcloths .. soap and shampoo.. so I spotted him some of that .. I keep a tv down there .. 65 inch uh tv .. so he was set for the night ..

I told him that door up to my place is unlocked so if want anything you know where I am..

He went took a shower and I went upstairs took a shower . Wearing a pair of boxer briefs and t-shirt .. he comes upstairs wearing the same thing .. same color briefs but my shirt was red his was blue ..

he asked if this was ok .. I told him.. don’t take this the wrong way— if he wanted to walk around naked go for it.. I do.. then I told him I’d let him know when I did that way he wouldn’t come up and catch me naked.. which I am sure was something he didn’t want to see …

I was fixing pancakes and sausage it was after all ..morning for us .. and I asked blueberries or chocolate he says both so I mixed the batter with both and fixed up a bunch of pancakes and sausage.. we are at the table.. said he loved my pancakes .. nice and fluffy and don’t taste greasy .. I said I use a spray where others pour a little in to dry them..


We got done.. I washed dishes he dried them and says for the first time in his life he felt free .. I said no.. you feel free when you’re at your own place naked as fuck .. sitting back drinking a beer and watching tv and no one there to bitch at you..

He smiled and asked if I had a beer .. I opened up the fridge .. he saw bottom shelf full of beer and he took his shirt off and stopped .. and I told him I am sure I am not the first gay person to see him naked .. and he says true.. and he says for me to join him .. so I took my clothes off and he did his and he ran around the house letting his dick flop around which was nice to see but even better seeing his bubble butt smooth as can be

Then we went laid in my bed and just talked .. I got and erection so I covered it up .. and he says no covering up .. .. and I said ok.. and let him see it.. his eyes were like wow.. ( told him 8 inches and little thick)

And he played with his for a few minutes.. says he wasn’t as big .. gets it hard and I was like near 6 inches .. that’s a pretty nice cock..

He then started telling me about his dad being such a prick and tells me how he walked in on him and a friend.. kissing and rubbing each others crotches.. his buddy left and his dad whipped him to point he couldn’t sit down for a few days ..

so day after day he’d whip his ass for what he did and that he wasn’t going to be no damned qu**r ..

So his hatred toward gays was pretty big.. but he said I was cool..

I said his dads not here .. call his buddy up and finish what they started ..

And we talked forever about how he knows his hatred for gays was beaten into him.. and seemed like every time he thought about his buddy and other guys.. instead of going on with his feelings toward them in a sexual manner but then he thinks about it more and hated that he had gay thoughts

I asked him about women.. he says he fucked one and he hated it but his dad was so proud he was with a girl .. ..

I was like .. you’ll never know until you decide to not fear your father and follow your feelings ..

A. Bf this story is one reason why get accused of the curiousity.. they are fed this belief that gays are evil and if evil gays then they start getting basically brainwashed into thinking this lifestyle is wrong

I remember asking my mom one day what would she do if she found out I’m that one of her sons was gay .. and she says to me she’s kill him…. Couple years later I was out of the closet and she was fine with it ..

But the straight guys get in their mind.. what’s so wrong about being with another man …. And the curiousity begins .. and sooner or later a lot of them decide to cross that line..

 

[dreamer20]

An ex-coworker, a cousin married and divorced a few times..the son of a minister <who> said “I need to talk to you" <about his desire to suck a penis confidentially>. ..he <came> back..asked “do you want to see a pic? Trying to help him come out of the closet, I said “sure.”
*BLOCKED* Why? It’s like they blame someone else for their curiousity..

moreguy_2004 were you not interested in having secret sex at all with the preacher's son? He was looking for someone - you specifically - to experiment with & you didn't help him. People in the closet, or not, have sex. Ask these dick pic senders if they are coming on to you in future and take advantage of the opportunity to have sex - if you want it. Coming out of the closet is an unrelated matter and personal choice.

 

[chrisrobin]

Sometimes they open the door to the closet and don't like what they see - or aren't brave enough to confront the truth

 

[FrankieGuile]

If I had to have a label put on me, it would be closeted but curious.

A few years ago, an ex-coworker and I were chatting on social media. He was like 19–20 at the time. I was older. But were legit close friends. We’d joke around about various things. But the gay subject was always off limits as he was very straight. Or so I thought.

One day I told him that if he didn’t do something (what I don’t remember) that I was going to send him a naked pic. We laughed at my comment and that was the end of it.

Then a few nights later I’m lying in bed and I get a snap from him. And when I opened it, it was an unsolicited picture of his penis! Again I laughed and never thought anymore about it. But that at least let me know he was most likely curious.

So I returned the favor and sent him a pic of my penis. This went on for a few weeks. But it never went any farther than that. Then all at once he blocked me on social media without an explanation. He would not return calls. Nor would he answer any texts sent to him.

I’m assuming that he felt guilty for exposing his curiousness.

Then I had a cousin, who was straight and had been married and divorced a couple of times. Late one night, I get a snap from him. I opened it - and it too was an unsolicited pic of his penis!! This caught me totally off guard. But again it let me know that he was most likely curious. So just as the first guy, we exchanged a few pics over the next several months. But again, it never went any farther than that. Then all of a sudden, he gets into a relationship with another female. He lied to me about it. But I found out about it. Just like the first guy, he blocks me on social media and stops all contact. Again I’m assuming he felt guilty about his sexual curiosity.

And it happens again. This time with a very close friend who was more like a brother.

He was the son of a minister. He attended church and all ,but there was a side of him that his parents were not aware. He had a bit of a wild streak on occasion.

He had just recently moved to another state at the time. And one night I get a snap from him. And he said “I need to talk to you but it has to stay between us.” Of course I agreed. He responded “I wonder what it would be like to suck another guy’s penis?” I had suspected that he was curious months before but the subject rarely came up. And when it did he always played the “extreme” straight role. So even though I somewhat expected it, I was still shocked. Immediately after he told me that, he stopped chatting.

The next day I get another snap from him apologizing. He said he was drunk and he really didn’t mean it. I didn’t believe that, but whatever.

Sometime later, he and his family move back here. So our friendship picked up right where it left off. I still felt that he was curious, but I never brought it up that often. And if it did come up, it was done in a joking manner.

Then one night last summer, I get a snap from him. I can’t remember his opening messages but it was definitely perverted. Then he asked me “do you want to see a pic? It’s an older one but it is me.” Trying to help him come out of the closet, I said “sure.” So he sends me one. And over the next few minutes, we send several back and forth.

Then a couple of days later, he messaged me and once again apologized and said that he was drunk and that he didn’t mean any of it; and he too blocks me on social media and ends our friendship. He too was ashamed of his curiosity.

Why do guys do that? It’s like they blame someone else, often those to whom they are closest, for their own sexual curiosity. And as a result they end friendships and end contact with the other person.

I could understand if they had “outed” themselves to a stranger, but to their closest of friends or close family, I just don’t get it.

I don't see evidence of any blame. I do see evidence of humble bragging (why are all these supposedly straight, unattainable men so attracted to me?!!!!). So, if you don't like it, stop engaging in it. If you do like it, then indulge yourself responsibly. But don't make a pretense of these men being straight. Apparently, they are not.

 

[Evenflow618]

Its all shame

 

[ManchesterTom]

Sometimes they open the door to the closet and don't like what they see - or aren't brave enough to confront the truth

Sometimes it is just to costly for someone to come out.