Why I feel bad for this person? Am I wrong here?

[Merophe]

So I met this guy, a friend of my friend, back in April when I went out to party with my friends. He's a Russian gay guy, definitely my type, who just moved from Georgia to Thailand (Later I found out that something bad happened to him, that's why he moved here).
That night he was super drunk, and ask me to share an ecstasy with him. He didn't even have money for that, he was broke, but I said he could pay me back later. And he fucked up badly that night, and even caused a scene at a night club (he was asked to leave the place lol).

A week later I asked him to hang out, I picked him up and we went to a beach for a short period. Then I found out that he's looking for a job at the moment, so I referred him to my friend who's in the same field of job that he's looking for cuz I wanna helped him. After that I asked him to hangout again at the mall near his place (literally 5 minutes walk from his room), he said yes. But that day he flaked on me when I was already at the mall he didn't even say sorry, just said that he overslept. So, I decided not trying to contact him again.

But many months have passed, all of my friends just moved to other countries, and my house situation's been shitty cuz my neighbor just sold the house, and they done a big renovate which is super loud and noisy. So, I have the idea to move to Georgia, living as an expat at Tbilisi. Hence, I texted him again telling him that I wanna talk about living in Tbilisi as an LGBT+ expat, and he might have some helpful tips for me. He agreed to meet on the next weekends, but then he asked me to help with his job finding djs and music systems for an event which I did help for that. On Monday he told me that he got fired (I asked him what's wrong, he told me he didn't show up to work ), but the meeting is still valid, and we confirmed the time. Fast forwards on last Saturday, he flaked on me again, and the same excuse which is he was overslept. I asked him 'what's wrong with him?', and he didn't even apologize. And now he blocks me on IG (and still owe me the money)

Somehow, I feel bad for him. I don't know why but I pity him for being through these hardship that he brought to himself by his bad actions. Am I wrong here? Or I was just too provoking towards him? I still need to talk to him, but I couldn't cuz I got blocked.
What should I do? Thank you in advanced for your opinions

P.S. I also screenshot some last convo we had on IG here.

 

[dreamer20]

I met a friend of a friend/him back in April at a party. He's Russian, gay, my type, moved from Georgia to Thailand... That night he was broke, borrowed money from me for ecstacy & I said "Pay me back later." He was super drunk, caused a scene at a night club & was asked to leave the place. A week later we hug out..He was seeking a job & I helped by referring him to a friend in the same job field. Later I asked him out to the mall. He said "Yes." But he was a no show. He didn't say sorry, just that he overslept.

Many months passed before I contacted him..I thought of moving to Tbilisi, Georgia, as an expat. I texted him for advice..He agreed to meet on the weekend & asked me to find a job for him - which I did. On Monday he told me of being fired for not showing up to work. We confirmed a Saturday meeting. That Saturday he flaked on me again, his same excuse "I overslept." what's wrong with him?..he didn't even apologize, blocked me on IG and still owes me money. I pity him...What should I do? Opinions? Thank you in advance

I'm going to refer to this man as Boris. You've fortunately dodged the bullet Merophe. Boris is an irresponsible person with an alcohol addiction problem. If you come across him again refer him to alcoholics anonymous and don't give him anymore money. Write off the money you gave him as a loss. It's time for him to stop partying, stop oversleeping and faithfully turn up for work in order to earn his keep as a immigrant in Thailand.

 

[Merophe]

I'm going to refer to this man as Boris. You've fortunately dodged the bullet Merophe. Boris is an irresponsible person with an alcohol addiction problem. If you come across him again refer him to alcoholics anonymous and don't give him anymore money. Write off the money you gave him as a loss. It's time for him to stop partying, stop oversleeping and faithfully turn up for work in order to earn his keep as a immigrant in Thailand.

Thank you, but I don't think he's an alcoholic tho, just a flaky and selfish person
Somehow referring him as Boris, all I see in my head now is Boris Johnson lol

 

[dreamer20]

Other than being flaky & self-centered I still see someone who has alcohol abuse related issues. If he ever achieves sobriety he won't be oversleeping anymore.
BTW: When I think of Boris, these two come to mind:

 

[chrisrobin]

Walk away - not worth the effort

 

[deleted22744331]

Walk away - not worth the effort

Yeah. This guy seems like he sucks ass and only does what benefits him. Very selfish.

 

[Merophe]

Walk away - not worth the effort

Yeah. This guy seems like he sucks ass and only does what benefits him. Very selfish.

Thank you so much guys
And yes, I did cut him off. The reason I wanna contact him was because I only wanna talk to him and get some info about living in Tbilisi as a gay person since he lived there for over a year, but it's true that he's not worth the effort.

 

[chrisrobin]

Thank you so much guys
And yes, I did cut him off. The reason I wanna contact him was because I only wanna talk to him and get some info about living in Tbilisi as a gay person since he lived there for over a year, but it's true that he's not worth the effort.

Moving to Russia as a gay person - not a good idea - Putin certainly wouldn't welcome you!

 

[Merophe]

Moving to Russia as a gay person - not a good idea - Putin certainly wouldn't welcome you!

Tbilisi is in Georgia honey lol
I aware of the homophobic atmosphere there, but I've also read some articles indicating some tolerance towards LGBT+ there, especially when you're a tourist. Also, I've had enough with life here, I wanna move somewhere far and different.

 

[chrisrobin]

Thank you so much guys
And yes, I did cut him off. The reason I wanna contact him was because I only wanna talk to him and get some info about living in Tbilisi as a gay person since he lived there for over a year, but it's true that he's not worth the effort.

Moving to Russia as a gay person - not a good idea -

Tbilisi is in Georgia honey lol
I aware of the homophobic atmosphere there, but I've also read some articles indicating some tolerance towards LGBT+ there, especially when you're a tourist. Also, I've had enough with life here, I wanna move somewhere far and different.

Good luck

 

[Merophe]

Moving to Russia as a gay person - not a good idea -

Good luck

Thank you babe, since you warned me, I dug deep to the internet regarding this issue and it made me quite nervous.
I do wanna move somewhere different, but due to my passport, I don't have many choices. So, I think maybe South America like Argentina? it's super hard when you're from a third-world country with a weak passport lol

 

[sonny84]

So I met this guy, a friend of my friend, back in April when I went out to party with my friends. He's a Russian gay guy, definitely my type, who just moved from Georgia to Thailand (Later I found out that something bad happened to him, that's why he moved here).
That night he was super drunk, and ask me to share an ecstasy with him. He didn't even have money for that, he was broke, but I said he could pay me back later. And he fucked up badly that night, and even caused a scene at a night club (he was asked to leave the place lol).

A week later I asked him to hang out, I picked him up and we went to a beach for a short period. Then I found out that he's looking for a job at the moment, so I referred him to my friend who's in the same field of job that he's looking for cuz I wanna helped him. After that I asked him to hangout again at the mall near his place (literally 5 minutes walk from his room), he said yes. But that day he flaked on me when I was already at the mall he didn't even say sorry, just said that he overslept. So, I decided not trying to contact him again.

But many months have passed, all of my friends just moved to other countries, and my house situation's been shitty cuz my neighbor just sold the house, and they done a big renovate which is super loud and noisy. So, I have the idea to move to Georgia, living as an expat at Tbilisi. Hence, I texted him again telling him that I wanna talk about living in Tbilisi as an LGBT+ expat, and he might have some helpful tips for me. He agreed to meet on the next weekends, but then he asked me to help with his job finding djs and music systems for an event which I did help for that. On Monday he told me that he got fired (I asked him what's wrong, he told me he didn't show up to work ), but the meeting is still valid, and we confirmed the time. Fast forwards on last Saturday, he flaked on me again, and the same excuse which is he was overslept. I asked him 'what's wrong with him?', and he didn't even apologize. And now he blocks me on IG (and still owe me the money)

Somehow, I feel bad for him. I don't know why but I pity him for being through these hardship that he brought to himself by his bad actions. Am I wrong here? Or I was just too provoking towards him? I still need to talk to him, but I couldn't cuz I got blocked.
What should I do? Thank you in advanced for your opinions

P.S. I also screenshot some last convo we had on IG here.

View attachment 101997431View attachment 101997421View attachment 101997411View attachment 101997401

Girl Google. It's 2023. You don't need people give you info or thumb thru volumes of Encyclopedia Britannica.

He's a party-gay and you want to meet him in the daylight to have a conversation ? Girl really?

 

[Merophe]

Girl Google. It's 2023. You don't need people give you info or thumb thru volumes of Encyclopedia Britannica.

He's a party-gay and you want to meet him in the daylight to have a conversation ? Girl really?

View attachment 102496691

from your logic, why are we humans still going to school or university when we can just google everything?
why we even have this forum to ask strangers when we can google it?

 

[sonny84]

from your logic, why are we humans still going to school or university when we can just google everything?
why we even have this forum to ask strangers when we can google it?

Google in this context of waiting to ask this party-gay flake.

 

[Merophe]

Google in this context of waiting to ask this party-gay flake.

I did, but I couldn't find what I was looking for. That's why I reached out to him since he had first-hand experience living there as a femme gay expat.
But thank you for your comment.

 

[sonny84]

I did, but I couldn't find what I was looking for. That's why I reached out to him since he had first-hand experience living there as a femme gay expat.
But thank you for your comment.

They'll give you trouble at the immigration check point for sure.

People I know, even with the correct visas and papers have been returned from the airport after being pulled out for question at immigration for no reason/whim of the officer....with no explanation from the visa issuing embassy back in their home country...this experience is specific to people of color, arabs/asians/southasians and groups of (very obvious and openly) queer people

 

[Andrej_u]

He is a person with alcohol or drug issues. Please forget about him.
And absolutely do not move to Georgia.

Here is a good study of acceptance of LGBTQ+ people in 175 countries. Georgia ranks at 141, lower than places such as Russia, Afghanistan, Burkina Faso and Libya. Just don't go there, it is a crazy idea.

Social Acceptance of LGBTI People in 175 Countries and Locations

 

[Merophe]

They'll give you trouble at the immigration check point for sure.

People I know, even with the correct visas and papers have been returned from the airport after being pulled out for question at immigration for no reason/whim of the officer....with no explanation from the visa issuing embassy back in their home country...this experience is specific to people of color, arabs/asians/southasians and groups of (very obvious and openly) queer people

thank you for the info, that sounds scary and devastated

 

[Merophe]

He is a person with alcohol or drug issues. Please forget about him.
And absolutely do not move to Georgia.

Here is a good study of acceptance of LGBTQ+ people in 175 countries. Georgia ranks at 141, lower than places such as Russia, Afghanistan, Burkina Faso and Libya. Just don't go there, it is a crazy idea.

Social Acceptance of LGBTI People in 175 Countries and Locations

thank you so much, I've done some research this weekend, and I changed my mind since it sounds like a dangerous place for LGBT+ people, especially a femme gay like me.

I'm now thinking about Argentina, which would be better regarding the issue, but I need to do more research on that

 

[JL666]

There are human rights organizations that reported about gay men baited, tortured and even killed in some "correction camp" in Georgia. I've just watched a few weeks ago an interview with a gay guy that now live safe in another country about his story. Many of his friends died after being tortured. You could see the horrorific things that man have seen by his eyes. Also their president said something like "there are no gay people in this country". Please, never go in that country, EVER!!!