Why maintaining an erection is so difficult, even in your 20s and 30s?

eridim

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I was a top only for good part of my 20s and could go for hours. My record was 4 hours of penetration with only breaks for drinking water and peeing. No drugs, alcohol or pills, all just me and with a condom on. But generally sessions of 1 hour of penetration weren't a big deal for me.

Towards the end of my 20s and now my early 30s I can barely keep an erection to top, but I also discovered how to bottom and enjoy it. I've been thinking something is wrong with me and I might have some form of ED, but through bottoming I realized keeping an erection past 10-15 min. of penetration only is actually the exception, not the norm. I've bottomed for lots of guys from hookups lately and I'd say only about 2 out of 10 can keep an erection without drugs for more than 15 min. of penetration only.

It has to do with arousal and exhaustion for sure, but it's helped me feel a bit more at ease with myself.

Common positions in porn are also affecting negatively keeping an erection. For example the guy lying on the bed with his cock up and me on top of him (facing him or in reverse), or sitting on him while he's sitting on a chair or a couch. Other positions make it easier to keep an erection, like doggy or missionary, probably because it's easier for blood to flow there.

I've noticed this with a lot of guys, their cock would go soft after a few minutes of exercise and we'd finish off ourselves. I've noticed also a big shift towards bareback sex because of the difficulty to keep an erection. I've heard countless times that guys don't want to use condoms because their cock goes soft immediately. I've even called off sex encounters because they wanted to fuck bareback.

If a cock going soft happened once or twice I'd say it was bad luck or there was no chemistry, but there's a pattern and I believe it has to do with porn and society accepting as normal an erection that lasts more than 15 min when that's actually the exception.

What do you think, what aconcerns have you had with your own erections?
 
You’ve not mentioned your overall health, exercise routine, weight or smoking habits but my first reaction is to say - if you are concerned with your erection, then go and see a Doctor.

You may have an undiagnosed disease which needs treatment.

Having said that - I am 20 years older than you - and erections can be about 70% relied on.

I can be super into the guy and my little fella just doesn’t want to play, or I can be slightly interested in the guy and my bone is rock hard for a 45 minute pounding.

Sometimes, the slightest thought can make me go soft. Do you think that the anxiety of possibly losing your erection could trigger it?

There are treatments out there which can help as you get older - but I don’t think you need those yet.
 
Good point! I've intertwined two topics and should have been more clear. One is about my own ability to keep an erection. The second is my observation of other guys' ability to keep an erection.

To answer your question, I'm super healthy, excellent BMI, train 4-5 times a week in the gym, eat extremely healthy and take no drugs, tobacco or alcohol. My issues are definitely mind related, maybe anxiety or some seasonal depression. I certainly need to be more around my friends and move to a sunnier country, as that's the context I came from when I was riding my power top wave.

But my point about erections was about how common it seems to be in younger guys that erections are hard to maintain. As a top only I couldn't see these things because I didn't care about the bottom's dick, but he cared about mine being hard. Seeing it from a bottom's perspective gave me evidence about how common it is that erections don't last for too long and that's normal.