wondering

[Kilimandjaro]

Imagine that you are single and that you meet a new guy. You start to date him and to know him a bit. Then he tells you that he is virgin.
How would you react to it ?
Would it make a difference for you in the way you perceive him ?
Would you consider that is a flaw or a strenght ?

 

[EllieP]

I think it depends on when he discloses this information and at what point in the relationship. First date - weird. At the movies - weirder.

If we're about make love then that's a different story. There's such a feeling of responsibility now so the dynamics may change. There's more work involved.

It's not a flaw or a strength, unless of course, he's 34. I just pulled that number out of the air, but you get my drift. If there are extenuating circumstances, like he just left the monastery, was just rescued from the island or worse, served his 10 to 20.

 

[Mercurygirl]

As Ellie mentioned age is a key factor on gauging what my reaction would be. An older guy who hasn't had sex yet does throw up a red flag. Certainly it could be nothing, maybe he's religious, etc.. But then again there could be some real issues there. A healthy honest level of communication would definitely be in order before I engaged in rocking his world.

However if he's a young guy, say, under 25, I really don't have a problem with it. First off I'd just adore the idea of corrupting a naive innocent young man, haha. Also, he's a blank page who's not carrying any sexual baggage from other women. I'll happily play teacher and give the boy a proper education on how to please a woman. =]

 

[Kilimandjaro]

well it's interesting! So actually the answer kinda differ from the age of the guy.So let's try to make it clear what age is shocking and what age is not.
From Mercury answer it would be 0 to 25 years. it looks kinda normal to be virgin at that age(like it's no big deal). It makes him probably more flexible to make him do what you like and prefer because he is not marked by another woman experience.
So what about 25 - 30 years old ?
Ellie you pointed the problem of how and when the woman actually discover the truth.
what if the woman learn the information from someone else ? would that be a deal breaker for you to date a guy if a friend of yours tell you that he is virgin , but you already started to date him a bit ?
If he told you himself when you are starting to think about the thought of having sex with him ? (you are not naked or anything lol , just maybe a bit flirty)
Would you stop to be flirty and avoid him or would you just deal with it and let the things going on ?

 

[SprinkleMe69]

Not a flaw at all.

I may be a reformed sex worker.

 

[EllieP]

well it's interesting! So actually the answer kinda differ from the age of the guy.So let's try to make it clear what age is shocking and what age is not.
From Mercury answer it would be 0 to 25 years. it looks kinda normal to be virgin at that age(like it's no big deal). It makes him probably more flexible to make him do what you like and prefer because he is not marked by another woman experience.
So what about 25 - 30 years old ?
Ellie you pointed the problem of how and when the woman actually discover the truth.
what if the woman learn the information from someone else ? would that be a deal breaker for you to date a guy if a friend of yours tell you that he is virgin , but you already started to date him a bit ?
If he told you himself when you are starting to think about the thought of having sex with him ? (you are not naked or anything lol , just maybe a bit flirty)
Would you stop to be flirty and avoid him or would you just deal with it and let the things going on ?

Even 25-30 is not a deal breaker. Yes, it's outside of the norm, but just enough outside to not throw up warning flares.

But what if I learned from someone else he was a virgin? Well, how would I actually learn that, and how would this other person know? That's kind of weird to have those kind of whispers roaming about.

The relationship would have to be pretty far along before we start talking about virginity and experience.

Actually, the best time to learn about this is probably during or immediately after. Maybe during the undressy part: clothes quickly being surrendered, the announcement is made, I stop and say "really?" and then continue with a smile.

How's that?

 

[Betty_Cocker]

My thinking is along Ellie's line of thinking. (I'd probably ask the person who shared the info how exactly they know.... and might not believe them b/c rumors tend to grow as they are told.)

There are many reasons a person remains a virgin. I'd probably like to hear the story ..... after sex. (because if I've been dating him and have gotten to the point of being ready and he appears ready as well... then it doesn't matter. Not a deal breaker for sure. It is never a flaw to stand up for something you believe in if there are value convictions ... waiting for the right girl.. etc... and.. if I'm having sex with a guy I'm dating.. hypothetically.... I'd think I'd be at that point too.) It could very well be a strength.

I like to think on the positives.

 

[LaFemme]

Virginity is not a deal breaker. If any person hasn't had sex because they haven't met the right person, so what? Unless, like Ellie says you've been in jail or institutionalized, what does it matter. I've never been of the opinion that virginity is a burden that one must dispose of like some kind of tumour. Being a virgin doesn't even mean that no one has wanted to have sex with you - it might have been your decision, or even that you were oblivious to their attraction.

I slept with a 30 year old virgin. He was a great lover from day one. Fast the first time, sure, but things rapidly improved. He had just never had the opportunity prior to meeting me.

To me it doesn't matter. It's your attitude and reasons for being a virgin that matter. If you are bitter and blame women or your cock size, or the media or the alignment of the stars - then that's a problem. Otherwise, no big deal. Share the information with a potential lover whenever you feel comfortable or don't. :smile:

 

[MistyOne]

I wouldn't judge them right away just based on the info that they are a virgin. If I like the person and it's someone I want to get to know, I wouldn't simply reject them because of that reason.

 

[deleted924715]

Virginity is not a deal breaker. If any person hasn't had sex because they haven't met the right person, so what? Unless, like Ellie says you've been in jail or institutionalized, what does it matter. I've never been of the opinion that virginity is a burden that one must dispose of like some kind of tumour. Being a virgin doesn't even mean that no one has wanted to have sex with you - it might have been your decision, or even that you were oblivious to their attraction.

I slept with a 30 year old virgin. He was a great lover from day one. Fast the first time, sure, but things rapidly improved. He had just never had the opportunity prior to meeting me.

To me it doesn't matter. It's your attitude and reasons for being a virgin that matter. If you are bitter and blame women or your cock size, or the media or the alignment of the stars - then that's a problem. Otherwise, no big deal. Share the information with a potential lover whenever you feel comfortable or don't. :smile:

+1

 

[Kilimandjaro]

Thank you for all your replies ! All your point of views are very interesting!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on that matter!

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

At my age I'd care more than I would have 5 or 10 years ago. I'd honestly want to know WHY. It could speak volumes about how he views sex which could be a dealbreaker for me.

 

[Tactfulgal]

I think it would give me pause, but I don't think it would make me stop seeing him. But if he was insecure about it and I needed to reassure him, that's different. Confidence is a must.

 

[JulieInNaplesFL]

With me, If he's at least 9X6 he won't be a virgin long.

 

[ericats]

If I like the guy, his character and personality matter so much more than whether or not he is a virgin. A virgin you can teach and experiment with so sexually it could be fun but his character and personality matter a lot more.