Worst pickup lines

[nailz]

Too many, the only one I clearly remember is:
"Excuse me, I think you dropped something" and then hands me a piece of paper with his number on it

There are no good pickup lines, just be confident and be yourself

 

[EllieP]

I had a convicted murderer ask me out tonight at work. I said "oh yeah? Murder? I did the time for the 3 murders I committed also. Had to use a knife. Sometimes you gotta defend yourself ya know?"

He got real quiet and left. Bonus points for me.

I'm a little scared right now.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

You see, I get into bizarre situations at work. I've had maybe 10 or so guys admit to me while shopping that they did time for murder. Usually manslaughter. They just volunteer this info, before asking me out. A coworker of mine who knows a bit more about rougher folks tell me that there are scuzzy women who look forward to being a man's first piece of ass when they get out of prison. Because the dude gets attached to them quickly for it. Then they have a devoted guy.

Rather than being impressed by this, I make it sound like I don't care either way and in this situation I felt like weirding out the weirdo by telling him, I too, killed a few people. My coworker could barely hold her shit together because I was making this stuff up as I went. It looks like my plan worked because he decided to leave immediately. Lol

You can't be scared of them. If they sense your fear they will mess with you. You have to make them think you're so nuts so you are no longer attractive to them. They aren't used to people doing that to them.

Some of this stuff is really about cracking up my fellow employees on the spot.

My job is a whole psycho social experiment.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

You can't be scared of them. If they sense your fear they will mess with you. You have to make them think you're so nuts so you are no longer attractive to them. They aren't used to people doing that to them..

True as fuck.

I didn't have the same tactics you do in those kinds of situations, but when I was a graveyard shift waitress I had my fair share of encounters with less than savory folks. You definitely can't let a creeper catch a whiff of vulnerability.

Ooooh! A good story just popped into my head... I also worked at a drive-through smoke shop for a couple years. In the middle of the day, out in the open, I'd see all the craziest shit. Fist fights in the fast-food parking lots across the street, crack-heads breaking into cars ect... One day, I'm chillin, reading a book... and this dirty-as-fuck dude comes up to the window, and just puts his dick in it. My instant reaction was to go for the window to slam it shut in the fuckin' thing. I screamed to get the fuck out or loose his shaft for good. I can put Bass in my voice too, sound like John Gallagher from Dying Fetus and shit. That guy took the fuck off and I never saw him again.

ETA: That may not have been a pick-up line... but it was weird as fuck and thought it might make a couple people giggle. The memory makes me laugh a bit...

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I'm just sitting here listening to music, and I'm realizing that "In Those Jeans" by Ginuwine is a cheesy pick up line in song form... but I can't lie, I love that song quite a bit. One of very few Ginuwine songs I truly enjoy.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Pony was way over played on the radio. I bet our honorary horse spokesperson would agree.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Pony was way over played on the radio. I bet our honorary horse spokesperson would agree.

I agree, can't stand that song.

You make me fuckin' giggle chica...