Would a penis the width of a spoon satisfy you?
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Serial Kisser
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Serial Kisser
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The one thing I have discovered recently is ....... Never ever discuss your dick with a woman. Never for any reason whatsoever.
It is what it is. Maybe it is enough maybe it is not. Discussion is not an option. It is uninteresting at best and turn-off at worst.
Thankfully, the messages here are extremely funny and all of a sudden I feel totally relieved and properly happy.
I have also discovered that sex is not a race.
Anyway, I may be coming off a a bit depressed because I think there's a woman at Starbucks who i am interested in who I might be losing permanently. We shared some smiles and gazes but she got picked up by another employee there right in front of me. She looked damn depressed but acted under social pressure and it seems that she is now out of my reach.
I rushed to Starbucks today because I wanted to see her very badly and I asked another girl who works there when she would be working. EVeryone ther was freaked OUT wto see this long haired obviously insane guy enquiring about a woman who is comeletely actress material and very leasant too. She is on tomorrow evening. That's exactly when my test ends. I plan to go out there again, hopefully I will be relaxed but donno how to ask her if she has already done anything with this guy.
It is what it is. Maybe it is enough maybe it is not. Discussion is not an option. It is uninteresting at best and turn-off at worst.
Thankfully, the messages here are extremely funny and all of a sudden I feel totally relieved and properly happy.
I have also discovered that sex is not a race.
Anyway, I may be coming off a a bit depressed because I think there's a woman at Starbucks who i am interested in who I might be losing permanently. We shared some smiles and gazes but she got picked up by another employee there right in front of me. She looked damn depressed but acted under social pressure and it seems that she is now out of my reach.
I rushed to Starbucks today because I wanted to see her very badly and I asked another girl who works there when she would be working. EVeryone ther was freaked OUT wto see this long haired obviously insane guy enquiring about a woman who is comeletely actress material and very leasant too. She is on tomorrow evening. That's exactly when my test ends. I plan to go out there again, hopefully I will be relaxed but donno how to ask her if she has already done anything with this guy.
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Serial Kisser
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I would think the lesson you should learn is not to compare your penis to cutlery.
AlteredEgo
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What difference does it make if she's "done anything" with that guy, or any other? Do you require a virgin who has never been on a date? It's a date. Not marriage, and probably not even a relationship. Ask her out, or don't. Just stop pussyfooting.
No I was gonna ask her out. And I will ask her out. But the thing is that it makes things a bit complicated.
But generally, I donno if she would be interested in going out. So much depends on so many things.
She likes me at leasta little bit. But whther she's gonna make the leap of agreeing to go out I donno. There definitely seems to be a lot of energy between us. But my comlexes are contagious. Nothng. Nothing would make me happy other than being on a date with her, especially if there's alcohol involved.
But I was wondering how I should ask her.
I suppose I couldn;t just go up to her and say 'Would a penis the width of a spoon satisfy you?'
AlteredEgo
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Are you fucking with us? You cannot be serious.
Okay. Just in case you're serious. The only way to know if someone wants to go out with you is to ask. Stop being such a pussy.
Okay. Just in case you're serious. The only way to know if someone wants to go out with you is to ask. Stop being such a pussy.
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Serial Kisser
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Nah, I'm all for OP saying that to her. Maybe she'd call the police on him for harassment or something. Seriously, trolliest troll.
I went and asked the fucking woman. The bloody bitch is engaged to be married or so she said.
I have come to the conclusion that women desire multiple men/penises as much as men would like to be with more than one girl.
Fucking bitch.
I wanna fuck her and she comes up with a lame excuse like she is engaged. Pfffffft.
I could show her worlds she has not yet seen. Fuck.
But maybe I didn't ask right.
I wasn't sure I should do it. When I went to Starbucks in the morning, I got the iimpression that word had spread about my inquiries. This satisfied me. I just wanted to make sure she was ok. And as long as she knew that I was out there for her, she would feel relatively safe. Next time I go there I will tell her this. She is not gonna call off her engagement but at least she will feel safe. That's all I want. I don't want her to feel threatened. Despite her healthy exterior she is as prone to vulnerabilities as anyone else. And looking like that, I am sure she gets wanted by many people, not all of who care truly. Actually, there's no way for me to get her out of this.
I didn't want to go ahead and do it. Not because I didn't want to or because I was afraid. It simply made no sense whatsoever. I am a dark skinned middle eastern looking guy, with guts, of course, but pretty far from what she is. She is a totally white skinned blonde woman with lots of energy. So it makes no sense for me to ask her out. Especially without any other reason why I may be able to ask her. I think it's just fantasy. The real world is relatively more sane. But upon facing the choice of which street to cross, I thought what the heck I don't have anything to do at home, so might as well do this. I never thought she would be engaged and that the door would be shut in my face. I thought I would at least get her to think or make her at least a little bit uncomfortable.
So like I already had a coffee so would make no sense to buy another. So she was there, she always keeps walking in and out of this door. And she was doing that. Like I said she is very energetic. And things generally tend to revolve around her not that she wills it. It's just that people tend to pay attention to the more energetic types. But she's very cool. Anyway, I went ahead and stood to get noticed. She was already smiling but now she seemed to be genuinely happy. So I said, 'Hi' and then 'I just wanted to introduce myself. My name is so and so, I go to graduate school here.' She said 'ok'. Still all very nice. And then I drew on some more reserves of energy and then suddenly found myself at the bottom of an ocean. All sounds seemed to be very muffled and I could only see her and just some nice colors and shapes around her. Her face was very bright at this point. So I kind of just tried to assume a confident position, so I spread my legs a bit wide and pointed by shoes convergingly. This was also to indicate to her that I wouldn't hide anything from her. Sign of openness.
So while still in the ocean, I said 'I just wanted to ask you a question. Would you like to go out for a drink sometime' and pointed in the general direction of where drinks exist down the street. And then added, 'because ........' and then I sort of waved in the general direction of her body from top to bottom.
She then may have paused, I don't know, I was missing from my present location, I was already near the drinks, very very very far away. I wasn't really inside my body. And did not care too much about anything that may or may not happen. A fucking tornado could have blown the roof off and I wouldn't have noticed. She said 'I am engaged.' And then she opened her mouth and she laughed as if she wanted me to share in the joy not of the engagement but of the fact that we were having this conversation. Donno what it meant. Then after a few moments, everything became very clear. My rational brain began calculating the meaning of what had happened. I started to peel away from her. Didn't know what to say. With whatever lingering intoxication that was left, I found myself saying 'You're getting married?' Not really wanting to end the relationship that I had just entered into with her. Then some wise guy at the back said, 'Yeah. She's my wife.' I took a brief look then looked back. She said 'No not him' Anyway, that was when I felt the concrete hit my face and shatter my jaws and give me a concussion. But she seemed still pretty happy and was kinda still very bright and laughing. I realized at this point that I had been extremely confident and calm and felt kind of weird about that. Then, I don't know, I meant to ask her 'You're not lying are you?' But instead I said 'Oh. End of conversation.' She was still laughing. So I sort of then brought my consciousness into focus, having heard and understood what I had just said. And then she went back into the room where she always goes and I walked out of the door that I have walked out of thousands of times. I lit a cigarette and tried to continue to drink the coffee I had been drinking, remembering that I like coffee and cigarettes. But then I decided to end it and walk back home.
Luckily I have you guys to share this experience with. Otherwise, I would be slitting my wrists. Kidding.
It was a lot of fun and enjoyment. I will now finally finish the cigarettee. I notice that it has been extinguished.
This is the end of my post. I hope it is not the end of my happiness.
Sooner or later I will end up getting depressed at what I did and how I manage to constantly find ways of undermining myself. But if that happens, I always have my antidepressants and I have about 15 cigarettes remaining. If it gets real bad I also have beer. And tomorrow I get to class where there are two attractive girls who are both attracted to me. And they are not engaged. I have unfinished stories yet in my life and possibly many happy moments but would rather not say too much at this point. I still have to consolidate what has happened but I really wish I never think again. I hope I can continue to dream.
Btw, I took a printout of a poem on a black background with red letters which I had thought of giving her just in case I got rejected. It says 'For Taylor' and the poem which is by a band called Pig Destroyer goes as follows. Sorry if this is getting heavy. I just want to pour it all out.
Patterns Of Failure
With better eyes i could have seen the disgust on your face
When i spoke your name and with better ears
I could have heard the disgust in your voice
When you spoke mine and with better hands
I could have felt your skin crawl
When my fingers touched down upon your neck
And with a better nose i could have smelled the vomit
Churning in your stomach when you touched me
Out of pity and perhaps with a better voice
My words might have done more than flatter
And yet even with all these things
I know it would have happened the same way
Because even now I still wish I could do it all over again
Frankly at this point I don't really relate with those words. But I did before and now I do not.
To quote whoever nut was in the Bible who said '
Whether he is a Prophet or not I cannot say. What I know is that I was blind and now I can see.
I have come to the conclusion that women desire multiple men/penises as much as men would like to be with more than one girl.
Fucking bitch.
I wanna fuck her and she comes up with a lame excuse like she is engaged. Pfffffft.
I could show her worlds she has not yet seen. Fuck.
But maybe I didn't ask right.
I wasn't sure I should do it. When I went to Starbucks in the morning, I got the iimpression that word had spread about my inquiries. This satisfied me. I just wanted to make sure she was ok. And as long as she knew that I was out there for her, she would feel relatively safe. Next time I go there I will tell her this. She is not gonna call off her engagement but at least she will feel safe. That's all I want. I don't want her to feel threatened. Despite her healthy exterior she is as prone to vulnerabilities as anyone else. And looking like that, I am sure she gets wanted by many people, not all of who care truly. Actually, there's no way for me to get her out of this.
I didn't want to go ahead and do it. Not because I didn't want to or because I was afraid. It simply made no sense whatsoever. I am a dark skinned middle eastern looking guy, with guts, of course, but pretty far from what she is. She is a totally white skinned blonde woman with lots of energy. So it makes no sense for me to ask her out. Especially without any other reason why I may be able to ask her. I think it's just fantasy. The real world is relatively more sane. But upon facing the choice of which street to cross, I thought what the heck I don't have anything to do at home, so might as well do this. I never thought she would be engaged and that the door would be shut in my face. I thought I would at least get her to think or make her at least a little bit uncomfortable.
So like I already had a coffee so would make no sense to buy another. So she was there, she always keeps walking in and out of this door. And she was doing that. Like I said she is very energetic. And things generally tend to revolve around her not that she wills it. It's just that people tend to pay attention to the more energetic types. But she's very cool. Anyway, I went ahead and stood to get noticed. She was already smiling but now she seemed to be genuinely happy. So I said, 'Hi' and then 'I just wanted to introduce myself. My name is so and so, I go to graduate school here.' She said 'ok'. Still all very nice. And then I drew on some more reserves of energy and then suddenly found myself at the bottom of an ocean. All sounds seemed to be very muffled and I could only see her and just some nice colors and shapes around her. Her face was very bright at this point. So I kind of just tried to assume a confident position, so I spread my legs a bit wide and pointed by shoes convergingly. This was also to indicate to her that I wouldn't hide anything from her. Sign of openness.
So while still in the ocean, I said 'I just wanted to ask you a question. Would you like to go out for a drink sometime' and pointed in the general direction of where drinks exist down the street. And then added, 'because ........' and then I sort of waved in the general direction of her body from top to bottom.
She then may have paused, I don't know, I was missing from my present location, I was already near the drinks, very very very far away. I wasn't really inside my body. And did not care too much about anything that may or may not happen. A fucking tornado could have blown the roof off and I wouldn't have noticed. She said 'I am engaged.' And then she opened her mouth and she laughed as if she wanted me to share in the joy not of the engagement but of the fact that we were having this conversation. Donno what it meant. Then after a few moments, everything became very clear. My rational brain began calculating the meaning of what had happened. I started to peel away from her. Didn't know what to say. With whatever lingering intoxication that was left, I found myself saying 'You're getting married?' Not really wanting to end the relationship that I had just entered into with her. Then some wise guy at the back said, 'Yeah. She's my wife.' I took a brief look then looked back. She said 'No not him' Anyway, that was when I felt the concrete hit my face and shatter my jaws and give me a concussion. But she seemed still pretty happy and was kinda still very bright and laughing. I realized at this point that I had been extremely confident and calm and felt kind of weird about that. Then, I don't know, I meant to ask her 'You're not lying are you?' But instead I said 'Oh. End of conversation.' She was still laughing. So I sort of then brought my consciousness into focus, having heard and understood what I had just said. And then she went back into the room where she always goes and I walked out of the door that I have walked out of thousands of times. I lit a cigarette and tried to continue to drink the coffee I had been drinking, remembering that I like coffee and cigarettes. But then I decided to end it and walk back home.
Luckily I have you guys to share this experience with. Otherwise, I would be slitting my wrists. Kidding.
It was a lot of fun and enjoyment. I will now finally finish the cigarettee. I notice that it has been extinguished.
This is the end of my post. I hope it is not the end of my happiness.
Sooner or later I will end up getting depressed at what I did and how I manage to constantly find ways of undermining myself. But if that happens, I always have my antidepressants and I have about 15 cigarettes remaining. If it gets real bad I also have beer. And tomorrow I get to class where there are two attractive girls who are both attracted to me. And they are not engaged. I have unfinished stories yet in my life and possibly many happy moments but would rather not say too much at this point. I still have to consolidate what has happened but I really wish I never think again. I hope I can continue to dream.
Btw, I took a printout of a poem on a black background with red letters which I had thought of giving her just in case I got rejected. It says 'For Taylor' and the poem which is by a band called Pig Destroyer goes as follows. Sorry if this is getting heavy. I just want to pour it all out.
Patterns Of Failure
With better eyes i could have seen the disgust on your face
When i spoke your name and with better ears
I could have heard the disgust in your voice
When you spoke mine and with better hands
I could have felt your skin crawl
When my fingers touched down upon your neck
And with a better nose i could have smelled the vomit
Churning in your stomach when you touched me
Out of pity and perhaps with a better voice
My words might have done more than flatter
And yet even with all these things
I know it would have happened the same way
Because even now I still wish I could do it all over again
Frankly at this point I don't really relate with those words. But I did before and now I do not.
To quote whoever nut was in the Bible who said '
Whether he is a Prophet or not I cannot say. What I know is that I was blind and now I can see.
AlteredEgo
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Are you really this much of a loser that a woman trying to let you down gently, even if the only way she could think of was with a lie, enrages you? You misread the situation. Learn from your errors, and get better at distinguishing between chemistry and excellent customer service.
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