I've listened to a podcast recently (can't remember who it was, I am trying to find it again) and there was a woman who made some claims and I want to know if this is a real phenomena or if she is talking shit.
This person basically said that "slut shaming" (never got this term personally) is much more prevalent in women than it is with men. She believes that many women get the "knives out" for beautiful women and women who have more sex with more guys than the average. Part of this is because men aren't all that bothered if women want more sex (at least in western cultures) and aren't all that threatened by this behaviour.
She also hypothesised that this is, at least in part, down to women having the power when it comes to sex. And that if an attractive woman is more liberal with their sexuality that is devalues the power of sex for women that aren't as pretty. She also believes that women won't admit that they do this because it seems shallow to use sex and attractiveness as a commodity to wield over men to get resources. (BTW if I were attractive I would do this too!)
She did a study wherein one woman was put into two groups of women, speaking over them during a group conversation. The woman who dressed much more conservatively was not deemed as half the threat that the woman with her chest out was. In the interviews they found that the conservatively dressed version was either ignored or tolerated much more by the women in question. Of course there will be some variation and the study may have flaws. (I suspect it would be reversed with guys, where the woman talking over men would be much more tolerated if she was hotter, but I digress!)
Men often get told they are "toxically masculine" because of their tendency toward aggression; outward displays of strength, domination, stomping on others, ruthlessness, overt competitiveness etc. I wonder if women - not being "allowed" to be aggressive by male standards within society - tend to do more of the reputation damage, back biting etc with more attractive women. I know many will say "no I am for all women" but I have personally seen this happen in the workplace, some women rubbing their hands with glee when the pretty girl makes a blunder or gets caught out on something. Interestingly when you raise it gently they get defensive and claim to be feminists.
So, is this woman full of shit or is she saying something that most wouldn't say out loud? Full disclosure this woman is what people may consider "beautiful" from what I gather so she may have another agenda. I have no dog in the fight, just curious about whether women do this stuff more subtly in daily life. Go on, if you do it own it!
This person basically said that "slut shaming" (never got this term personally) is much more prevalent in women than it is with men. She believes that many women get the "knives out" for beautiful women and women who have more sex with more guys than the average. Part of this is because men aren't all that bothered if women want more sex (at least in western cultures) and aren't all that threatened by this behaviour.
She also hypothesised that this is, at least in part, down to women having the power when it comes to sex. And that if an attractive woman is more liberal with their sexuality that is devalues the power of sex for women that aren't as pretty. She also believes that women won't admit that they do this because it seems shallow to use sex and attractiveness as a commodity to wield over men to get resources. (BTW if I were attractive I would do this too!)
She did a study wherein one woman was put into two groups of women, speaking over them during a group conversation. The woman who dressed much more conservatively was not deemed as half the threat that the woman with her chest out was. In the interviews they found that the conservatively dressed version was either ignored or tolerated much more by the women in question. Of course there will be some variation and the study may have flaws. (I suspect it would be reversed with guys, where the woman talking over men would be much more tolerated if she was hotter, but I digress!)
Men often get told they are "toxically masculine" because of their tendency toward aggression; outward displays of strength, domination, stomping on others, ruthlessness, overt competitiveness etc. I wonder if women - not being "allowed" to be aggressive by male standards within society - tend to do more of the reputation damage, back biting etc with more attractive women. I know many will say "no I am for all women" but I have personally seen this happen in the workplace, some women rubbing their hands with glee when the pretty girl makes a blunder or gets caught out on something. Interestingly when you raise it gently they get defensive and claim to be feminists.
So, is this woman full of shit or is she saying something that most wouldn't say out loud? Full disclosure this woman is what people may consider "beautiful" from what I gather so she may have another agenda. I have no dog in the fight, just curious about whether women do this stuff more subtly in daily life. Go on, if you do it own it!
