So recently I've started seeing guys - need advice

[xaxa123123]

Hey everyone, as the title says, I've started seeing guys recently (since last summer). I think I've always been attracted to men, but I've never had the guts to admit it. Anyway, since last summer, I grew a pair and started going on grindr. I usually get sucked off, it's quite fun, quick and easy, and the guys are ok with doing only that. However, I have 2 issues I need advice on (and maybe they are related to one another, I'll let you decide):

1. When I set up a meeting with a guy, 9 times out of 10, I'll get these butterflies in my stomach. And I don't mean the fun ones. Like butterflies you get before an exam in uni and idk why. It'll happen when I set up a meeting with a new guy as well as with a guy I've seen before. Has anyone experienced that before?
2. Sometimes, I'll cum quite quickly. Too quickly, like 1-2 mins in. Just like issue 1, idk why it happens. Sometimes I can keep going for 10-15 mins straight (which I think is quite alright for a bj), but other times I'll be done in like 2 mins. Maybe my brain's been formatted by porn, where when I jerk off, subconsciously I'll tell myself "let's go for a quickie, gotta cum fast". Idk, but it can be quite frustrating. So, same question, has anyone experienced this before and is it normal?

Thanks!

 

[altaa_sa]

I will only answer to 2.

In my (not very rich) experience, gay men love it when you cum quickly. I started meeting men rather late myself (22 YO more or less) and with very rare encounters until recently. And that's the appeal, a man will always take it as a compliment. Maybe stay clear of demanding someone to drive to you for 45 minutes for a 2 min blowjob, and you'll be ok. It is, in my opinion, just a thing about logistics and time investment. Just respect that someone takes time of his life for a hookup.
Myself I never had a "too soon" reaction, only the opposite "so are you comming or what" after ~5 min. men want it shooting out semen. I don't understand it, but it is hot.

 

[ILoveGames48]

Well I will answer both questions for you to the best of my ability …

1- the butterflies in stomach.. is just nerves .. .. biggest majority of guys and even girls have them when first meeting someone.. it’s normal.. but try getting to know more about their past and see if they still get nervous when first meeting.. make sure meet ina place where few people are.. doesn’t have to be a crowd .. but sometimes meeting someone with few people around will make feel more secure


2..cumming quickly happens to all men at one time or another .. then some it occurs every time they have sex.. I was with a guy years ago he got off before can even pull his dick out of his pants .. he was so ashamed of himself but once I assured him he was ok by cleaning him up ( hehe) and sucking his dick for a good minute before he came again..

One thing with him though he remained hard forever .. so sucking him or letting him fuck me was awesome feeling him cumming in either hole multiple times


.. what’s it like with women? You been active with any / ‘many ? If so you last longer or cum quickly as well?

 

[Robert Dole]

1 and 2- Yes, that nervous excitement when hooking up doesn't go away IME.
Once I'd gotten over nervous and horny took over then cumming wasn't far away to start. My mentor would just keep going and I'd be hard again soon, my favourite was being rimmed for up to an hour at a time and I'd be so relaxed his 8" would fit without any issue

 

[bravesoldier]

I started seeing men late in life, like my early 40's. So now I've been at it close to 20 years and I promise, the nervousness never fully goes away, especially with new hook ups. But I have learned it is normal and I believe it happens to most everyone. I have also learned to just go for it when you feel this way. When you get there and things start happening, you will get comfortable and everything will fall into place. It has happened to me many times. Nervousness is normal, never doubt it and don't think you're the only one it happens to.

If you cum quick like me, (I'm on Cialis) and can cum most times in a milli-second, just tell the guy to go easy with you or don't even try to make you cum. He'll understand. He may be dedicated to helping you get off and that's good, but I'm sure to him, getting his nut is paramount, unless you're an addicted edger like me. To me, most of the time it is a loss to cum when edging feels so much better and goes on and on. I will allow myself to cum sometimes, but not very often.

Also, I never like to cum until after I've gotten my subject off.

 

[Harambae]

Well I will answer both questions for you to the best of my ability …

1- the butterflies in stomach.. is just nerves .. .. biggest majority of guys and even girls have them when first meeting someone.. it’s normal.. but try getting to know more about their past and see if they still get nervous when first meeting.. make sure meet ina place where few people are.. doesn’t have to be a crowd .. but sometimes meeting someone with few people around will make feel more secure


2..cumming quickly happens to all men at one time or another .. then some it occurs every time they have sex.. I was with a guy years ago he got off before can even pull his dick out of his pants .. he was so ashamed of himself but once I assured him he was ok by cleaning him up ( hehe) and sucking his dick for a good minute before he came again..

One thing with him though he remained hard forever .. so sucking him or letting him fuck me was awesome feeling him cumming in either hole multiple times


.. what’s it like with women? You been active with any / ‘many ? If so you last longer or cum quickly as well?

The nervous anticipation is your fight or flight response going off at the prospect of a new intimate encounter. Because of the overstimulation caused by this anxiety one may end up suffering from premature ejaculation. It can become a vicious cycle, in a way.

But, good on you for fighting through the initial nerves and anxiety by deciding to go through with the encounters, anyway! You're on the right path!

As you become more comfortable with interacting with others you will also grow more comfortable in finally being able to maintain an erection.

If you choose not to go through with a medical/ pharmaceutical remedy then you should talk yourself into positive affirmations which will calm you down and keep you prepared to blow your load on time.

 

[atlas23]

I think both things are normal. In my experience guys like it when you cum faster so don’t sweat it and enjoy!

 

[Braunlow]

1. If you weren't nervous with the butterflies in your stomach, then you are either too disinterested or hardened against the experience. Getting nervous is one of the great pleasures of having first time sex with someone. The lingering questions about what does he like, etc. go through your head to the point where it's sometimes difficult to relax. But, it usually leads to a hotter experience.

2. I have sucked off many men and some come very fast, while others take until the Parousia to shoot. The ones who come too fast will usually tell me to stop ( that they are almost there). I will stop, rest a little while, then start up, this time a bit slower. If I get the signal again, I will do the same thing, building up the teasing aspect. When he is ready to cum, I will go to town and get that load. So, if you feel you are having that situation, just tell him to stop, that you love to be edged. You orgasm will be mind-blowing.