Are you comfortable masturbating in front of your partner; does she masturbate in front of you?

[BertHung]

So I was a little shocked by my straight friend who was in a situation where he was living in a tiny home with his girlfriend of five years and complaining about her not having a higher sex drive. I'm, like, okay, that's a normal complaint. then he adds about it being too cold out to masturbate in the outdoor shower and not having any privacy to masturbate at all, or the possibility of being caught. He said, word-for-word, he would be "devastated if she ever caught him masturbating". Mind you they're not just starting out. They've been together for *five years*. I inquired further and he admitted to me that "of course we've never seen each other masturbate, that's weird." Now, to my point of view, this sounds really unhealthy to me. How can you feel really comfortable and safe around an intimate partner if you're not comfortable with them seeing you masturbate or vice versa?

When I expressed my confusion and concern, he told me, "Well, I'm a lot more vanilla than you." But I couldn't wrap my head around that. What's a more vanilla and wholesome sex act than a couple masturbating together? Is this normal for straight couples? Or am I correct in thinking that my friends' relationship has a sexual disturbance because of this bizarre discomfort surrounding masturbation?

i think that kinda thing is extremely hot tbh

 

[shaved and trimmed]

Yes we do. It's hot!
Some times she'll tie me to the bed and gets out her toys and gets busy. I love it when she's right in my face so close I can feel the heat of her pussy and smell her but stays just out of reach of my tongue. Such a tease.
After that, once she sets me free what else can I do but spray a load on her.

 

[H.ricky]

This is actually a good question because I think it can touch on boundaries and intimacy or even comfort levels. I’m the type of person where sexuality/sex and all that is open book for me. So when it comes to masturbation it could be odd to some but I think of it as a normal thing like pissing. So when it comes to a partner seeing me do it .. if doesn’t matter at all. Or vice versa and it doesn’t matter rather they help or not lmao that’s not a conditional thing either.

i will say certainly do NOT mind getting a mouth for me to put my nut or getting help with the clean up

but again my point is I don’t care

 

[techpump]

So for a long time like 20 years we fucked pretty much daily, my wife and I both wanted each other nonstop it never got old. When we pleasured ourselves it was not often, but we did. When we touched each other in front of each other it was special and wonderful because we didn't do it that much, like really ever. But we were horned up for it for sure!

However, recently the last 3ish years, all we have mostly done is pleasure each other and pleasure ourselves in front of each other because menopause makes sex difficult for my wife right now. Very hard on both of us! But we play with each other a good bit and its super fun and hot. We certainly are not shy and have done all kinds of wild shit to ourselves and to each other, its been great

OP's friend and his girl, and like most people, feel like masturbation is done alone because we're all taught it is bad or wrong or just "not right." The word masturbation translates to its original latin as "pollute yourself" or "self-pollution/polluting" so no wonder why we're taught that when we touch ourselves, DOWN THERE FOR HEAVENS SAKE MY GOD, its DIRTY!! So, no wonder they won't touch each other in front of each other. Awwww that sucks!!! I hope they pull through and get off on watching each other (they both might get off watching porn, so getting off watching each other is not that at all, and they might be dependent on porno to cum alone).

 

[boc]

Several of my exes have asked me to. And of course I have no problem watching her.

 

[deleted5502931]

My wife and I both like to masturbate, both by ourselves and together. It's a huge turn-on for both of us to watch the other pleasure ourselves.

 

[deleted15682271]

My wife and I masturbate in front of each other time to time. We don’t make a big deal out of it.

 

[figgnewton]

Several of my exes have asked me to. And of course I have no problem watching her.

Do you masturbate in return for them ?

 

[boc]

Do you masturbate in return for them ?

Not as a transaction. But yes, I am quite willing to do so.

 

[Sexedup]

Yes and yes

Often I'll be in the shower and she will sit on the bench opposite and play with herself.

I usually cum all over the glass.

Sometimes we lie in bed and play with ourselves until we cum, usually at the same time.

 

[deleted814719]

Nobody can "finish me" like me so I guess it's always something that I've been comfortable doing in front of a partner.... it's part of my DNA and it would be a non-starter in a relationship if my partner was turned off by that. Adios.

I have to say that my wife does a damn good job of finishing me. I grew up masturbating dry not really knowing lube/lotion/spit was a thing. My girlfriend (now wife) got some advice from one of her girlfriends about using Vaseline Intensive Care lotion on her boyfriend to pleasure him. She took the advice, brought a small bottle with her on one of our dates, and did me in the car with the lotion. Oh, baby, was that ever fun. Throughout our dating, I ever masturbated in front of her.

When we married, we had PIV sex quite often and handjobs from her were relatively rare - I guess she was happy to have me inside and it was probably less "work" for her. I, of course, masturbated regularly because even sex 3-4 times a week wasn't quite enough (I was in my 20s at the time). My masturbation was always a solo event as I felt guilty. I've continued to masturbate regularly during our four decades of marriage and in the past 10 years, have been more open about it. I'll often start masturbating in bed while she lies next to me and she almost always joins in. When she's just half-hearted about it, I'll just ask her to play with my balls while I stroke. She always watches as I perform and seems to get a kick out of watching my cock spurt and dribble cum. Bonus - I get a thrill out of her watching!

I've grown to the point of feeling no guilt whatsoever about masturbating or doing so in front of her. Philosophically speaking, I've evolved with the idea that individuals need to take charge of their own happiness. Masturbation provides a brief period of euphoria and relaxation. I've always enjoyed the feeling and hope to continue to do so for a long time.

 

[figgnewton]

I have to say that my wife does a damn good job of finishing me. I grew up masturbating dry not really knowing lube/lotion/spit was a thing. My girlfriend (now wife) got some advice from one of her girlfriends about using Vaseline Intensive Care lotion on her boyfriend to pleasure him. She took the advice, brought a small bottle with her on one of our dates, and did me in the car with the lotion. Oh, baby, was that ever fun. Throughout our dating, I ever masturbated in front of her.

When we married, we had PIV sex quite often and handjobs from her were relatively rare - I guess she was happy to have me inside and it was probably less "work" for her. I, of course, masturbated regularly because even sex 3-4 times a week wasn't quite enough (I was in my 20s at the time). My masturbation was always a solo event as I felt guilty. I've continued to masturbate regularly during our four decades of marriage and in the past 10 years, have been more open about it. I'll often start masturbating in bed while she lies next to me and she almost always joins in. When she's just half-hearted about it, I'll just ask her to play with my balls while I stroke. She always watches as I perform and seems to get a kick out of watching my cock spurt and dribble cum. Bonus - I get a thrill out of her watching!

I've grown to the point of feeling no guilt whatsoever about masturbating or doing so in front of her. Philosophically speaking, I've evolved with the idea that individuals need to take charge of their own happiness. Masturbation provides a brief period of euphoria and relaxation. I've always enjoyed the feeling and hope to continue to do so for a long time.

Lucky you. My wife says it's private thing. Would be nice now and then to do mutual masturbation.

 

[AHandfull]

I have to say that my wife does a damn good job of finishing me. I grew up masturbating dry not really knowing lube/lotion/spit was a thing. My girlfriend (now wife) got some advice from one of her girlfriends about using Vaseline Intensive Care lotion on her boyfriend to pleasure him. She took the advice, brought a small bottle with her on one of our dates, and did me in the car with the lotion. Oh, baby, was that ever fun. Throughout our dating, I ever masturbated in front of her.

When we married, we had PIV sex quite often and handjobs from her were relatively rare - I guess she was happy to have me inside and it was probably less "work" for her. I, of course, masturbated regularly because even sex 3-4 times a week wasn't quite enough (I was in my 20s at the time). My masturbation was always a solo event as I felt guilty. I've continued to masturbate regularly during our four decades of marriage and in the past 10 years, have been more open about it. I'll often start masturbating in bed while she lies next to me and she almost always joins in. When she's just half-hearted about it, I'll just ask her to play with my balls while I stroke. She always watches as I perform and seems to get a kick out of watching my cock spurt and dribble cum. Bonus - I get a thrill out of her watching!

I've grown to the point of feeling no guilt whatsoever about masturbating or doing so in front of her. Philosophically speaking, I've evolved with the idea that individuals need to take charge of their own happiness. Masturbation provides a brief period of euphoria and relaxation. I've always enjoyed the feeling and hope to continue to do so for a long time.

Yes. Thirty years of marriage, things are not quite the same so you have to evolve. Menopausal issues and my size make sex painful for her so we have had to figure out alternative pleasures. I also like her to know and see that I am still very horny and that she still needs to work hard for me and be open to me and my desires and not just fade off into sexual irrelevancy. Otherwise you keep it all bottled up and that's just not healthy. It needs to come out literally and figuratively.