Are you just a big sex toy?
- Thread starter Expozr
- Start date
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2008
- Posts
- 406
- Media
- 38
- Likes
- 1,245
- Points
- 373
- Location
- Baltimore (Maryland, United States)
- Verification
- View
- Sexuality
- 80% Straight, 20% Gay
- Gender
- Male
First thought: being a big dildo for my SO might not be such a bad thing...
I personally would LIKE to be a sex object (but I don't know what that feels like)
I've had quite some fun being a sex toy in FWB, ONS and group setting. Or those nights when the special someone just wants to cum. But I dumped my last SO cuz she was just looking to ride dick - not for the man. Its much better when the relationship is about each other's personality..and ability as a sex object 
.
.
twoton
Superior Member
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2011
- Posts
- 7,865
- Media
- 1
- Likes
- 8,311
- Points
- 268
- Location
- Mid Atlantic
- Sexuality
- 99% Straight, 1% Gay
- Gender
- Male
Well. Maybe sort of a long time ago, kind of.
I had a girlfriend (she was, alas, married but not living with her husband--although he would still drive her places, paid her credit card bills, etc) and I really fell for her and thought I was deeply in love.
I fantasized not about sex with her but about growing old with her.
We never really went out on any "dates." We might hit a bar for happy hour after work and then go back to her place and fuck our brains out. Sometimes it was me lying back on the couch while she bounced up and down until she orgasmed. And sometimes I really felt like she was in it just for the sex.
I told her how I felt, and that there was a really strong sense in me that I would love her even without the sex. That I would love her even if we were entirely platonic. She laughed and told her friends.
After she ditched me, and I got over her, and she pulled me back in months later for another few weeks of sex before I finally ended it, her b.f.f. told me that I should have stuck with her and used her for sex because that's what she used me for. And I will say she was the only woman who totally, completely, and wildly impaled herself on my cock with hardly any complaints. Sometimes she's complain about me hitting her cervix, though. Maybe she was a size queen but didn't know it.
So maybe the answer is yes, but it was a lot more emotionally complicated for me.
I had a girlfriend (she was, alas, married but not living with her husband--although he would still drive her places, paid her credit card bills, etc) and I really fell for her and thought I was deeply in love.
I fantasized not about sex with her but about growing old with her.
We never really went out on any "dates." We might hit a bar for happy hour after work and then go back to her place and fuck our brains out. Sometimes it was me lying back on the couch while she bounced up and down until she orgasmed. And sometimes I really felt like she was in it just for the sex.
I told her how I felt, and that there was a really strong sense in me that I would love her even without the sex. That I would love her even if we were entirely platonic. She laughed and told her friends.
After she ditched me, and I got over her, and she pulled me back in months later for another few weeks of sex before I finally ended it, her b.f.f. told me that I should have stuck with her and used her for sex because that's what she used me for. And I will say she was the only woman who totally, completely, and wildly impaled herself on my cock with hardly any complaints. Sometimes she's complain about me hitting her cervix, though. Maybe she was a size queen but didn't know it.
So maybe the answer is yes, but it was a lot more emotionally complicated for me.
No. I feel loved and respected, with a deep emotional connection to my girl.
But...
There is something freaking insanely hot when she just uses me to get herself off real quick, before going out or going to sleep.
Wooooo-oof!!!
I really appreciate your in depth and vulnerable response. Its nice you didn't settle for a one sided relationship.
Sounds like you have it all with knowing you are loved plus having the uninhibited freakishly insanely hot action too. You are a very lucky guy.
The connection for you was more than just about sex but I wonder if you'd have felt that way about her, or so intensely, if the sex hadn't been so good? I've never fallen deeply in love with anyone who I didn't have a great time in bed with, but it's difficult to know which comes first, as it were.
Crimsonlurker
Admired Member
Feels great at first. Then...not so much.
sangheili90
Superior Member
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2013
- Posts
- 3,504
- Media
- 9
- Likes
- 3,888
- Points
- 208
- Location
- Arizona (United States)
- Sexuality
- 100% Straight, 0% Gay
- Gender
- Male
I don't think most guys would be bothered with the idea of being a sex toy, assuming they are with someone they find attractive.
twoton
Superior Member
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2011
- Posts
- 7,865
- Media
- 1
- Likes
- 8,311
- Points
- 268
- Location
- Mid Atlantic
- Sexuality
- 99% Straight, 1% Gay
- Gender
- Male
But I want to add--the idea of being used as a sex toy is still fun to think about. As a fantasy, absolutely. And I'm sure it can work out for everyone's enjoyment in real life, too. Just not in all circumstances.
twoton
Superior Member
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2011
- Posts
- 7,865
- Media
- 1
- Likes
- 8,311
- Points
- 268
- Location
- Mid Atlantic
- Sexuality
- 99% Straight, 1% Gay
- Gender
- Male
The connection for you was more than just about sex but I wonder if you'd have felt that way about her, or so intensely, if the sex hadn't been so good? I've never fallen deeply in love with anyone who I didn't have a great time in bed with, but it's difficult to know which comes first, as it were.
Great question. There's no way of knowing for sure.
Being used as a sex toy on occasion, in the context of a relationship, can be exhilarating.
Being seen as just a penis and its accompanying life support system, not as a person, can be demeaning.
Being seen as just a penis and its accompanying life support system, not as a person, can be demeaning.
Is it wrong and objectifying if hes ok with it?
I used to have a benefits situation with a friend who has since moved long distance. I will often message him and say hi, show me your cock. If he can and wants to he will, otherwise he wont, the decision is 100% in his hands.
I know there are times he isn't into being 'used', but the other times he completely gets off on it and loves it.
I used to have a benefits situation with a friend who has since moved long distance. I will often message him and say hi, show me your cock. If he can and wants to he will, otherwise he wont, the decision is 100% in his hands.
I know there are times he isn't into being 'used', but the other times he completely gets off on it and loves it.
- Joined
- Nov 4, 2010
- Posts
- 1,389
- Media
- 155
- Likes
- 10,293
- Points
- 543
- Location
- San Jose (California, United States)
- Verification
- View
- Gender
- Male
The real problem with this scenario arises when you have deep feelings, but the other person only views you as a human dildo. In those situations, it has the potential to get emotionally abusive.
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2016
- Posts
- 814
- Media
- 384
- Likes
- 25,522
- Points
- 513
- Location
- United States
- Verification
- View
- Sexuality
- 99% Straight, 1% Gay
- Gender
- Female
I agree with a few that have posted and understand some others. A couple of my ex's might have used me as their personal sex toy, but that's not to say that I wasn't using them for the same. The sex was just that amazing. But in a deeply committed relationship is different. If there's nothing there but the sex, that would be a problem. You have to connect on many levels. You add some, subtract others, but in it equally.
Now the fact I have no SO... I personally wouldn't mind my own personal sex toy!
Now the fact I have no SO... I personally wouldn't mind my own personal sex toy!
I have been used for sex, soon as you mention commitment, they run a mile! More probably because they don't like paying their way! They want you to feed them, let you used toiletries etc and have sex with you, but if your in a relationship, because after a six months of being together and them staying at yours, nearly every day, they should contribute to each others lives! Buy some shopping, put something to utilities etc! It hurts but, you just got to let them go!
Similar threads
