Not pushing you but...
I think you need to have a conversation with him along the lines of, "I'm cool with where we are right now, but I'd like to take it to the next level." Do you think that would freak him out? I'm just wondering if maybe he is waiting for you to make the next move. Have you tried to unbutton his pants or take down his zipper? As you're rubbing him, and he is hard, could you say, "I really want to suck your dick"?
As much as it pains you, another approach might be the next time he comes over to just talk about what you are thinking/feeling and find out from him the same. "I know you're trying to work/figure things out and I want to help in whatever way I can. I want you to know how badly I want you, but I am willing to take it as slow as you want/need to." Again, if you are gay he may be waiting for you to take the lead. Just my thoughts.