Bisexual FWB fists women but not men

buck8

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I'm a 56-year-old gay man with a circle of longtime FWBs, and most are bisexual men over age 40. I'm a versatile top. Over the years, I've met men who have been into getting fisted, and I've always been happy to indulge and enjoyed the experience. I've been a power top most of my adult life, but over the last five years I've shifted to being more versatile, while leaning top, and I tend to take the lead whether topping, bottoming, or flip-fucking. One of my FWBs is a top who would identify as being more on a straight side of the spectrum, but comfortable with his bisexuality and guy fun. He's a great top and also loves playing with a hole. The last time we fucked, he got off first, but he was determined to get me off, and he worked four fingers inside me, massaging my prostate while stroking and sucking my cock. Doing that gave me one of the best orgasms I've ever had! That's how I'd get a bottom off, aside from fucking him, but he's a skilled top and probably the first to give me that level of orgasm by working my hole. On a few occasions we have talked about fisting as tops and how we enjoyed pushing our partners' limits and both giving and controlling the pleasure. He admits to being a service top and getting off both physically and emotionally by giving pleasure as a top. We are strictly FWBs. I'll float him Viagra if he is out of it and has a hookup, female or male, talk about our hookups with each other, etc. No jealousy. I had recently complimented him (by texting, our usual communication) on the great prostate massage orgasm and said if I ever decide to try getting fisted, he'd be the guy for the job. He responded with enthusiasm, said it would likely take a few sessions, etc., which I already knew as a fisting top, but the discussion underscored that his experience and focus on giving pleasure would make him my preferred choice. I have been thinking about it a lot. He texted tonight, just to chat, and I told him I want to try getting fisted soon, and we should set something up. It took a few minutes for him to respond, which is not unusual because he could be in the middle of doing something, driving, etc., but he finally replied with "I only fist women." I'm offended. Should I be? I get that bisexual men often have certain things they like to do with men, so I tend to not be offended when I've encountered it, but I also like my regular FWBs to have similar sexual likes so we're a good match. Looking back at our conversations, I see nothing I might have misinterpreted, other than the omission of a direct "I want to fist you" statement, but it was certainly implied. What do you guys think? I have only one other current FWB into fisting, and he explicitly told me he has never fisted a guy but would love to try it. However, he lives a couple hours away and is getting ready to marry his longtime live-in GF. She is aware of his bi side because they occasionally swing, but the timing isn't good right now, and scheduling sessions would be a challenge. So, am I wrong to be offended by my first choice's response? To feel diminished by his "I only fist women" comment? I encourage feedback on this will/won't female/male issue, but not on the practice of fisting overall. If it's not your thing, I get it, but that's not the aim of this thread. I also apologize for such a long post, but I like to write, and it helps me process. Thanks!!!!
 

friskydawg

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I'm a 56-year-old gay man with a circle of longtime FWBs, and most are bisexual men over age 40. I'm a versatile top. Over the years, I've met men who have been into getting fisted, and I've always been happy to indulge and enjoyed the experience. I've been a power top most of my adult life, but over the last five years I've shifted to being more versatile, while leaning top, and I tend to take the lead whether topping, bottoming, or flip-fucking. One of my FWBs is a top who would identify as being more on a straight side of the spectrum, but comfortable with his bisexuality and guy fun. He's a great top and also loves playing with a hole. The last time we fucked, he got off first, but he was determined to get me off, and he worked four fingers inside me, massaging my prostate while stroking and sucking my cock. Doing that gave me one of the best orgasms I've ever had! That's how I'd get a bottom off, aside from fucking him, but he's a skilled top and probably the first to give me that level of orgasm by working my hole. On a few occasions we have talked about fisting as tops and how we enjoyed pushing our partners' limits and both giving and controlling the pleasure. He admits to being a service top and getting off both physically and emotionally by giving pleasure as a top. We are strictly FWBs. I'll float him Viagra if he is out of it and has a hookup, female or male, talk about our hookups with each other, etc. No jealousy. I had recently complimented him (by texting, our usual communication) on the great prostate massage orgasm and said if I ever decide to try getting fisted, he'd be the guy for the job. He responded with enthusiasm, said it would likely take a few sessions, etc., which I already knew as a fisting top, but the discussion underscored that his experience and focus on giving pleasure would make him my preferred choice. I have been thinking about it a lot. He texted tonight, just to chat, and I told him I want to try getting fisted soon, and we should set something up. It took a few minutes for him to respond, which is not unusual because he could be in the middle of doing something, driving, etc., but he finally replied with "I only fist women." I'm offended. Should I be? I get that bisexual men often have certain things they like to do with men, so I tend to not be offended when I've encountered it, but I also like my regular FWBs to have similar sexual likes so we're a good match. Looking back at our conversations, I see nothing I might have misinterpreted, other than the omission of a direct "I want to fist you" statement, but it was certainly implied. What do you guys think? I have only one other current FWB into fisting, and he explicitly told me he has never fisted a guy but would love to try it. However, he lives a couple hours away and is getting ready to marry his longtime live-in GF. She is aware of his bi side because they occasionally swing, but the timing isn't good right now, and scheduling sessions would be a challenge. So, am I wrong to be offended by my first choice's response? To feel diminished by his "I only fist women" comment? I encourage feedback on this will/won't female/male issue, but not on the practice of fisting overall. If it's not your thing, I get it, but that's not the aim of this thread. I also apologize for such a long post, but I like to write, and it helps me process. Thanks!!!!
Yes, in my opinion, you should be offended. Fuck him (not literally).
 
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mushroomcap

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You should be insulted that he’s not being honest with you. It sounds like he was into the idea of fisting you and then changed his mind. The male/ female thing comes off as a way of avoiding telling you the real reason he is no longer interested.
 
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buck8

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Today I chatted with my heteroflexible friend who is into fisting his wife. He reiterated, with enthusiasm, that he would like to try fisting a man and would be happy to do it with me. He lives more than an hour away, so is availability is limited, and I feel it will probably take me three or four sessions to manage a fist. We'll see. Also, he's an ex-fighter. His fists are lethal weapons, so maybe I should be worried, haha! I trust him, though.