a man has made you feel uncomfortable or even threatened, whether or not he knew it or meant to do so?
I sure fucking can't.
I sure fucking can't.
Can You Count How Many Times...
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AlteredEgo
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No, I have never tried to count. Those idiotic men in that thread would be SHOCKED how early in our lives this abuse starts. Or maybe not. Maybe they'd just be shocked to realize the way they treat girls is repulsive and abusive.
I know I overheard stories about men being inappropriate with my mother at her work. Trying to get her to tell them what they wanted to hear as far as details about her sex life. The details they wanted to hear were not even true. After my father broke her heart, she never loved another man, never even tried. Her life revolved around me. She kept that job a full 20 years.
So many things just seem really minor to me. I just escape as I can. I'm not looking for cops or HR. I just remove myself.
Have I had to run away? Oh yes. Be violent? I have stabbed a bad man, and I would do it again. I was taught not to strike a man unless I intended to kill him. I left that dude with potentially life-threatening injuries. And I. Would. Do. It. Again. Because when men assault us, kidnap us, poison us, nobody but us can protect us. Nobody in authority cares, and they never will again. There is a rapist in the supreme court. It was fine to make Anita Hill uncomfortable and that turd still hasn't been flushed out of SCOTUS either.
I don't talk to cops unless there is something in it for me. My mother forced me to report a rape once. It made the worst experience of my life to that point get stretched into the longest year. And my rapist never spent even 5 seconds behind bars. In a stand your ground state, during the Zimmerman trial, when I violently defended myself against a man and his wife after the man laid in wait for me, and then trapped me in a laundry room, the cops told me I would be charged with battery because I didn't attempt to retreat (I had neither a duty nor the ability to retreat) and I threw the first blow. See, I don't see these pigs as good for anything beyond oinking. I will continue to be the person I rely upon to protect me from bad actors, whether that means hiding, running, creating a public spectacle, or knowing when it is time to put a dog down.
There are lots of men I love and trust. They outnumber the men I have known who have let me down. I have had fleeting, casual contact with thousands of men who were neither threatening nor inappropriate. But I have had enough discomfort and danger to make me wary of strangers, especially when they are men.
Most men seem to be just regular dudes. Any man who is honestly made fearful by #metoo or #timesup is a creeper. He May not know he's a creeper, but if he thinks he doesn't know how not to get fired or go to prison, he doesn't know how to treat other human beings. If he's doing dirt, I hope he suffers. Time's up, shitbags.
I know I overheard stories about men being inappropriate with my mother at her work. Trying to get her to tell them what they wanted to hear as far as details about her sex life. The details they wanted to hear were not even true. After my father broke her heart, she never loved another man, never even tried. Her life revolved around me. She kept that job a full 20 years.
So many things just seem really minor to me. I just escape as I can. I'm not looking for cops or HR. I just remove myself.
Have I had to run away? Oh yes. Be violent? I have stabbed a bad man, and I would do it again. I was taught not to strike a man unless I intended to kill him. I left that dude with potentially life-threatening injuries. And I. Would. Do. It. Again. Because when men assault us, kidnap us, poison us, nobody but us can protect us. Nobody in authority cares, and they never will again. There is a rapist in the supreme court. It was fine to make Anita Hill uncomfortable and that turd still hasn't been flushed out of SCOTUS either.
I don't talk to cops unless there is something in it for me. My mother forced me to report a rape once. It made the worst experience of my life to that point get stretched into the longest year. And my rapist never spent even 5 seconds behind bars. In a stand your ground state, during the Zimmerman trial, when I violently defended myself against a man and his wife after the man laid in wait for me, and then trapped me in a laundry room, the cops told me I would be charged with battery because I didn't attempt to retreat (I had neither a duty nor the ability to retreat) and I threw the first blow. See, I don't see these pigs as good for anything beyond oinking. I will continue to be the person I rely upon to protect me from bad actors, whether that means hiding, running, creating a public spectacle, or knowing when it is time to put a dog down.
There are lots of men I love and trust. They outnumber the men I have known who have let me down. I have had fleeting, casual contact with thousands of men who were neither threatening nor inappropriate. But I have had enough discomfort and danger to make me wary of strangers, especially when they are men.
Most men seem to be just regular dudes. Any man who is honestly made fearful by #metoo or #timesup is a creeper. He May not know he's a creeper, but if he thinks he doesn't know how not to get fired or go to prison, he doesn't know how to treat other human beings. If he's doing dirt, I hope he suffers. Time's up, shitbags.
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It’s peculiar that one of the posters jumped on @AlteredEgo ’s post about “standing too close, staring too long, or making more than one attempt at a disinterested woman” as an example of how women are overreacting. He missed the whole part where she said these are relatively minor incidents, but are considered intimidating tactics. Not one woman is going to the cops about rape, but we’re going to file a complaint to HR about some guy who is standing too close. Right. That’s friggin’ Tuesday for a woman. We don’t like it. But it happens all the time. That’s the point. Back the fuck up.
That poster read this entire thread and that’s what he picked up on. Pretty sad that’s the message he got. We’re just waiting to yell assault because you stared at us too long. If you wouldn’t do it to a guy, don’t do it to a woman.
That poster read this entire thread and that’s what he picked up on. Pretty sad that’s the message he got. We’re just waiting to yell assault because you stared at us too long. If you wouldn’t do it to a guy, don’t do it to a woman.
Enid
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I skimmed over the other thread. This stood out to me, regarding dating in the current clime:
"#MeToo has made it even harder for me."
This sounds like a personal problem, dude. What, you think women out there are socially kneecapping men left and right just for shits & giggles? No, they are speaking up for the first time because they now have a stronger support network to let their voices be heard.
I can't count how many times I've been made to feel awkward by men, in situations where sexual shit should have never been "put out there". Men exposing themselves to me in public, weird sex talk from guy "friends", catcalls, etc etc. The most benign being solo pub visits where I read a book and drink beer, men incessantly trying to interrupt me with flirty small talk. JUST LET IT GO DUDE I HAVE A BOOK. I OBVIOUSLY WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE
Men who complain about metoo putting a crimp in their dating lives will never get it.
"#MeToo has made it even harder for me."
This sounds like a personal problem, dude. What, you think women out there are socially kneecapping men left and right just for shits & giggles? No, they are speaking up for the first time because they now have a stronger support network to let their voices be heard.
I can't count how many times I've been made to feel awkward by men, in situations where sexual shit should have never been "put out there". Men exposing themselves to me in public, weird sex talk from guy "friends", catcalls, etc etc. The most benign being solo pub visits where I read a book and drink beer, men incessantly trying to interrupt me with flirty small talk. JUST LET IT GO DUDE I HAVE A BOOK. I OBVIOUSLY WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE
Men who complain about metoo putting a crimp in their dating lives will never get it.
“And had I had a daughter, I would hope that she would be well prepared by my wife and myself to handle these situations. When to get up and leave before it goes further. Notice the signs. Tell someone when they are being inappropriate.”
Get up and leave? And what if he doesn’t want you to leave? What’s a dad’s advice then? Submit so you don’t get brutally beaten? Or fight back and end up in the emergency department? Go to the police and end up in that nightmare? “I’m sorry Brad, you’re being inappropriate.” Yeah. That works.
That poster has sons. I do, too. And girls. I prepared the girls for attacks and the boys to respect. Best I could do.
Get up and leave? And what if he doesn’t want you to leave? What’s a dad’s advice then? Submit so you don’t get brutally beaten? Or fight back and end up in the emergency department? Go to the police and end up in that nightmare? “I’m sorry Brad, you’re being inappropriate.” Yeah. That works.
That poster has sons. I do, too. And girls. I prepared the girls for attacks and the boys to respect. Best I could do.
This thread was inspired by the #metoo thread in AASM.
I can't reply there. So I'll say it here.
The guys who feel like they can't work with women now, I assume are the ones who thought it was no big deal to treat woman co-workers in inappropriate ways. Yeah, I'll make assumptions too muhfuckers.
I work with 5 men and one woman on any given day. None, I repeat NONE of them have made me feel threatened in the year and a half I've worked on this crew. So guess what? I'm not going to report anyone for harassment!! What a fucking concept!!!
I can't reply there. So I'll say it here.
The guys who feel like they can't work with women now, I assume are the ones who thought it was no big deal to treat woman co-workers in inappropriate ways. Yeah, I'll make assumptions too muhfuckers.
I work with 5 men and one woman on any given day. None, I repeat NONE of them have made me feel threatened in the year and a half I've worked on this crew. So guess what? I'm not going to report anyone for harassment!! What a fucking concept!!!
Can I count how many times a man has made me feel unsafe or uncomfortable? No.
For the morons (not that all the participants in that thread are morons) in the metoo thread in AaSM, that number does not include casual conversation with colleagues about what our weekend was like, discussing work, or random people who haven't interacted with me at all. It doesn't count the polite, non-pushy times I've had a colleague express interest or who asked me out. It does count the manager who kept scheduling me to work shifts alone with him, who didn't even try to hide that he had a fetish for Asian women, and who kept looking at porn at work. It does count the clearly drunk man who kept trying to insist on giving me a ride home from a house party who wouldn't accept no for an answer. It does count the clearly drunk man who crashed an evening out with a friend who followed us from on the walk back to my apartment who physically forced his way into my place. It does count the men who think that anyone at a concert is free game to grope (and I don't mean accidentally bump into like people do sometimes when it's very crowded). By grope I mean squeeze on my tits or ass. It does count the men who think that just because I'm sex positive and have had friends with benefits, that they're entitled to getting to fuck me.
Out of all the women I know, easily a quarter, maybe even a third of them have been sexually assaulted. That's out of all of the women I've known over my entire life span. The amount of those women who have gone to law enforcement about it, I can count on a single hand with fingers left.
For the morons (not that all the participants in that thread are morons) in the metoo thread in AaSM, that number does not include casual conversation with colleagues about what our weekend was like, discussing work, or random people who haven't interacted with me at all. It doesn't count the polite, non-pushy times I've had a colleague express interest or who asked me out. It does count the manager who kept scheduling me to work shifts alone with him, who didn't even try to hide that he had a fetish for Asian women, and who kept looking at porn at work. It does count the clearly drunk man who kept trying to insist on giving me a ride home from a house party who wouldn't accept no for an answer. It does count the clearly drunk man who crashed an evening out with a friend who followed us from on the walk back to my apartment who physically forced his way into my place. It does count the men who think that anyone at a concert is free game to grope (and I don't mean accidentally bump into like people do sometimes when it's very crowded). By grope I mean squeeze on my tits or ass. It does count the men who think that just because I'm sex positive and have had friends with benefits, that they're entitled to getting to fuck me.
Out of all the women I know, easily a quarter, maybe even a third of them have been sexually assaulted. That's out of all of the women I've known over my entire life span. The amount of those women who have gone to law enforcement about it, I can count on a single hand with fingers left.
Cuz I am an Amazon I rarely feel physically threatened. I'm more likely to see men as a threat to people I care about.
A day doesn't go by in the mixed company of strangers that I don't feel unspoken hostility toward me because I am queer and female bodied. When a sense of entitlement is rebuffed anger quickly steps up.
A day doesn't go by in the mixed company of strangers that I don't feel unspoken hostility toward me because I am queer and female bodied. When a sense of entitlement is rebuffed anger quickly steps up.
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These asspuppets find it difficult to be around women in a work place because they lack any ability to not see women as sexual objects.
How hard is " don't say anything to a woman you wouldn't say to a man"
Would you place your hand on the small of a male coworker's back when passing? No. No okay to do to a woman.
Would you tell a male coworker he has a pretty "?"? Don't say it to a woman.
Rely, just pretend women don't have sexual or secondary sexual parts and you will be fine *epic fucking eyeroll*
Also. The whole "I don't know how to behave around women" bullshit is dismissive and low key apologetic of the men who actually make women's lives unsafe/difficult. Imaging that an innocent, benign action will be misread thanks to female over sensitivity/hysteria and some how destroy your career is a form of internalised sexism.
Women put up with so much shit as a standard operating costs it's not funny. The level of shitty that brings complaint is literally "he took his penis out and masturbated in front of me" not "he undressed me with his smile when he asked if I'd like coffee"
How hard is " don't say anything to a woman you wouldn't say to a man"
Would you place your hand on the small of a male coworker's back when passing? No. No okay to do to a woman.
Would you tell a male coworker he has a pretty "?"? Don't say it to a woman.
Rely, just pretend women don't have sexual or secondary sexual parts and you will be fine *epic fucking eyeroll*
Also. The whole "I don't know how to behave around women" bullshit is dismissive and low key apologetic of the men who actually make women's lives unsafe/difficult. Imaging that an innocent, benign action will be misread thanks to female over sensitivity/hysteria and some how destroy your career is a form of internalised sexism.
Women put up with so much shit as a standard operating costs it's not funny. The level of shitty that brings complaint is literally "he took his penis out and masturbated in front of me" not "he undressed me with his smile when he asked if I'd like coffee"
Of course I can’t count how many times I’ve been made to feel uncomfortable or unsafe around a man. That’d be like saying, do you look both ways before you cross the street. My first assault occurred at an age I can’t mention. I’ve been groped, pawed, harassed, and assaulted as an adult woman.
I can’t imagine a world where I don’t exercise caution around men. Even men I knew proved to be dangerous. It takes a great deal for a man to prove himself safe to me. I do know quite a few “safe” men, but it took a lot. This site hasn’t done a lot to make me feel safer. A lot of secret hatred lurking out there. On the other hand, there are a few gems. Thank goddess.
I’m really grateful for the ‘me too’ movement. It’s making men think about their past and current behaviour. It’s no longer open season on women. Get consent. Keep your hands to yourself. Keep your comments to yourself. If you’re her boss, then shut the fuck up. Don’t coerce sex in any way. Don’t take advantage of drunk or high women. It’s not brain surgery.
I can’t imagine a world where I don’t exercise caution around men. Even men I knew proved to be dangerous. It takes a great deal for a man to prove himself safe to me. I do know quite a few “safe” men, but it took a lot. This site hasn’t done a lot to make me feel safer. A lot of secret hatred lurking out there. On the other hand, there are a few gems. Thank goddess.
I’m really grateful for the ‘me too’ movement. It’s making men think about their past and current behaviour. It’s no longer open season on women. Get consent. Keep your hands to yourself. Keep your comments to yourself. If you’re her boss, then shut the fuck up. Don’t coerce sex in any way. Don’t take advantage of drunk or high women. It’s not brain surgery.
And while there are female sex offenders, the majority are men. Even the ones who victimize men. Man on man assault happens way more often than woman on man assault happens.
The majority of men are not sex offenders.
And for the fucking record, because it seems like posts need disclaimers..............
I count plenty of men among the list of people who are dear to me. I have close male friends and have ended up with a long term sweetie who is male. If I held a personal grudge against everyone who did me wrong, my sweetie would never have become my sweetie. I would have run screaming from even talking to him, because of some superficial stuff that he has in common with the living garbage that sexually assaulted me.
I count plenty of men among the list of people who are dear to me. I have close male friends and have ended up with a long term sweetie who is male. If I held a personal grudge against everyone who did me wrong, my sweetie would never have become my sweetie. I would have run screaming from even talking to him, because of some superficial stuff that he has in common with the living garbage that sexually assaulted me.
Where is a PREACH!!! emoticon when you need one
AlteredEgo
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I do not agree with everything @Sagittarius84 posts, even on this subject, but he not only seems to get it, he seems to want even better understanding.
Meanwhile, that jjzzz guy just comes across as so full of shit. He's NEVER stood too close? NEVER looked too hard for too long? NEVER made more than one attempt to get a disinterested woman's attention? I don't buy it. These are the minor things I think every man does until he knows better. Men doing these things do not necessarily mean any harm, and may not even know that to the woman on the receiving end, these maneuvers are intimidating.
There have been men who shook my hand in introduction but then wouldn't let go of my hand until I was forced to hear them out and tolerate their otherwise gentle flirting. Does anyone believe these men meant to scare me? I don't. But they did. They just wanted me to like them. But I do not. I still remember the sad tone in the last guy's voice when he said, "You won't call. I don't think you like me." He is the reason I do not let men shake my hand unless we are introduced by someone I know, or are conducting business. He wasn't the forst to refuse to let go, but he will be the last one I do not injure. I do not let men shake my hand, so this hasn't been a problem. But if it is, I will maim him. He gets two chances to unhand me. It is false imprisonment. The penalty? I will try to remove his fucking hand from both of us. I do not trust police. I won't be asking for help.
While I think most men are friendly and kind, or at least well-intentioned, I think all humans do random stupid things that make other people uncomfortable. In the case of most people, men in this context, I think most offenses are incredibly minor. The offended escapes the scene ASAP, afraid to make a fuss because she might make him angry, and angry men are dangerous. The offender never knows how he blundered and that he did minor harm to anyone.
How many times a week do I have conversations I do not want to have because it is easier to just be polite and wait for an opportunity to hide from Him? This is better than letting him see which car I get into. Better than angering him. If he's angry, he might hurt me. If he knows my car, he might spot a pattern in my travels, or worse, spot my car in my driveway! So, how many times do I smile and nod, give a fake name, try to let Dude know I'm busy/unavailable without pissing him off? How many times am I thinking about just being honest? "Look, Man, I am in no mood for conversation right now. I do not want to be friends. I am not going to fuck you. I do not want to buy or sell anything. I want to go home, without you, and without you seeing what car I put my groceries in. Have a pleasant day." I think about it every time. I would love to be that clean and clear about it. But what are some common abuses I have to endure if I am honest about not wanting His attention? Will he block my path? Follow me? Scream sexist/racist epithets and invective into my face? Will he be violent? He might. I do not know him. Every man alive is Schrodinger's rapist. I have no way of knowing if the cat in the box is dead or alive, both or neither. I have no way of knowing if the man before me can be rejected safely or not. I only know if he wants to stop me from leaving, he can. If he wants to kill me, he probably can. If he wants to hurt me, he can. If he wants to destroy my life, he can. So, in the intetest of self preservation, I tolerate some bullshit. I look out for other women who might be in trouble. I hide. I run. If all else fails, I fight.
Dudes who think they have NEVER imposed themselves on unappreciative women are either ignorant or liars. lol As if we are going to always be free to just come out and say in plain English, "Go away! You are interrupting my inner monologue."
Meanwhile, that jjzzz guy just comes across as so full of shit. He's NEVER stood too close? NEVER looked too hard for too long? NEVER made more than one attempt to get a disinterested woman's attention? I don't buy it. These are the minor things I think every man does until he knows better. Men doing these things do not necessarily mean any harm, and may not even know that to the woman on the receiving end, these maneuvers are intimidating.
There have been men who shook my hand in introduction but then wouldn't let go of my hand until I was forced to hear them out and tolerate their otherwise gentle flirting. Does anyone believe these men meant to scare me? I don't. But they did. They just wanted me to like them. But I do not. I still remember the sad tone in the last guy's voice when he said, "You won't call. I don't think you like me." He is the reason I do not let men shake my hand unless we are introduced by someone I know, or are conducting business. He wasn't the forst to refuse to let go, but he will be the last one I do not injure. I do not let men shake my hand, so this hasn't been a problem. But if it is, I will maim him. He gets two chances to unhand me. It is false imprisonment. The penalty? I will try to remove his fucking hand from both of us. I do not trust police. I won't be asking for help.
While I think most men are friendly and kind, or at least well-intentioned, I think all humans do random stupid things that make other people uncomfortable. In the case of most people, men in this context, I think most offenses are incredibly minor. The offended escapes the scene ASAP, afraid to make a fuss because she might make him angry, and angry men are dangerous. The offender never knows how he blundered and that he did minor harm to anyone.
How many times a week do I have conversations I do not want to have because it is easier to just be polite and wait for an opportunity to hide from Him? This is better than letting him see which car I get into. Better than angering him. If he's angry, he might hurt me. If he knows my car, he might spot a pattern in my travels, or worse, spot my car in my driveway! So, how many times do I smile and nod, give a fake name, try to let Dude know I'm busy/unavailable without pissing him off? How many times am I thinking about just being honest? "Look, Man, I am in no mood for conversation right now. I do not want to be friends. I am not going to fuck you. I do not want to buy or sell anything. I want to go home, without you, and without you seeing what car I put my groceries in. Have a pleasant day." I think about it every time. I would love to be that clean and clear about it. But what are some common abuses I have to endure if I am honest about not wanting His attention? Will he block my path? Follow me? Scream sexist/racist epithets and invective into my face? Will he be violent? He might. I do not know him. Every man alive is Schrodinger's rapist. I have no way of knowing if the cat in the box is dead or alive, both or neither. I have no way of knowing if the man before me can be rejected safely or not. I only know if he wants to stop me from leaving, he can. If he wants to kill me, he probably can. If he wants to hurt me, he can. If he wants to destroy my life, he can. So, in the intetest of self preservation, I tolerate some bullshit. I look out for other women who might be in trouble. I hide. I run. If all else fails, I fight.
Dudes who think they have NEVER imposed themselves on unappreciative women are either ignorant or liars. lol As if we are going to always be free to just come out and say in plain English, "Go away! You are interrupting my inner monologue."
I can understand why men get upset about false allegations, but it is really only 2 - 8% of all reported cases. The vast majority of sexual assault cases go unreported. Men are far more likely to get away with sexually assaulting a woman than any other crime.
The same stats apply to robbery, but most robberies are reported. So if you’re going to pick between two crimes - best rape a woman on a date, she’s unlikely to report it. But don’t steal her wallet. The cops might actually believe that. They won’t believe her if she says she willingly went to your house and you held her down and fucked her.
The same stats apply to robbery, but most robberies are reported. So if you’re going to pick between two crimes - best rape a woman on a date, she’s unlikely to report it. But don’t steal her wallet. The cops might actually believe that. They won’t believe her if she says she willingly went to your house and you held her down and fucked her.
Just because that one turd of a thread in AaSM keeps getting posts...
I don't walk around afraid or thinking I am going to be a victim at any time. I do walk around with an attitude of common sense with a dash of caution, because I don't want taken advantage of. I do walk around knowing a significant amount of women have been molested and/or sexually assaulted, who never reported it. Within the last week I was just offering advice and support to a young woman who got molested at her work place. She did choose to report it, but who knows if she will end up still having a job or being believed at all. The system as it were treats those who have been sexually assaulted like garbage. Her own family, like to many families doesn't believe her. Blame how she was dressed. Tell her it's no big deal, get over it, etc.
I don't walk around afraid or thinking I am going to be a victim at any time. I do walk around with an attitude of common sense with a dash of caution, because I don't want taken advantage of. I do walk around knowing a significant amount of women have been molested and/or sexually assaulted, who never reported it. Within the last week I was just offering advice and support to a young woman who got molested at her work place. She did choose to report it, but who knows if she will end up still having a job or being believed at all. The system as it were treats those who have been sexually assaulted like garbage. Her own family, like to many families doesn't believe her. Blame how she was dressed. Tell her it's no big deal, get over it, etc.
I like to show support. Not because I like what happened to you.
Some of those men that think they’ve never made a woman uncomfortable, really don’t get it. They don’t need to do anything but be physically bigger and stronger and be unknown. If one in three women have been sexually assaulted, then one out of every three women a man comes into contact with is going to be cautious in her contact with men.
And it’s not about having second thoughts the morning after. Holy shit. It’s not “I got drunk and had sex.” It’s someone deliberately intoxicating a woman, isolating her, ensuring she was incapacitated, unable to speak or move and raping her. He can fool himself into thinking it was a drunken romp, but it was rape. And she won’t go to the police because she’ll blame herself for drinking, for allowing herself to get separated from her friends, for thinking he was cute. And he will do it again.
Those guys who would beat the hell out of a rapist better look long and hard at their attitudes. They don’t deserve a medal for not raping. By minimizing the lived experiences of women, they continue to perpetuate the abuse of women. They deserve zero credit for ‘not raping’ because they continue treat women like liars.
And it’s not about having second thoughts the morning after. Holy shit. It’s not “I got drunk and had sex.” It’s someone deliberately intoxicating a woman, isolating her, ensuring she was incapacitated, unable to speak or move and raping her. He can fool himself into thinking it was a drunken romp, but it was rape. And she won’t go to the police because she’ll blame herself for drinking, for allowing herself to get separated from her friends, for thinking he was cute. And he will do it again.
Those guys who would beat the hell out of a rapist better look long and hard at their attitudes. They don’t deserve a medal for not raping. By minimizing the lived experiences of women, they continue to perpetuate the abuse of women. They deserve zero credit for ‘not raping’ because they continue treat women like liars.
And that's what they don't get: dating as a woman at all is hard. Even if we do get more offers, those offers come from some really off-putting people. Some of them aren't offers at all, they're demands.
Everyone has their struggles. I'd say having to be aware of the fact that a person of the opposite sex might not reciprocate sexual attraction is of a lesser evil than having to worry about whether or not the person of the opposite sex might physically overpower you and do things to your body without your consent.
