Can You Count How Many Times...

[Tight_N_Juicy]

a man has made you feel uncomfortable or even threatened, whether or not he knew it or meant to do so?

I sure fucking can't.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Like in a daily basis or a life time basis? Countless times. I almost come to expect it and just get surprised when it doesnt.

 

[MickeyLee]

Cuz I am an Amazon I rarely feel physically threatened. I'm more likely to see men as a threat to people I care about.

A day doesn't go by in the mixed company of strangers that I don't feel unspoken hostility toward me because I am queer and female bodied. When a sense of entitlement is rebuffed anger quickly steps up.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I'm not a man hater. I don't fear every man I encounter.

Have I felt like I might need to run the fuck away more times than I can count? Yes. Have I had to PHYSICALLY fight off men who felt entitled to touch my body without my consent over Dozen times in my life? Yes. Have I actually had to run the fuck away? YES.

 

[MickeyLee]

I am a social class hater. I hate the privilege men are automatically born with. I hate the entitlement they grow accustomed to.

I love the boy. I love many an individual male person. Some of my favorite people are male persons.

As states like Alabama creep closer and closer to at Atwood themed amusement park I will continue to draw close my allies. And the number of my opposition will be measured.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I've been manipulated, touched, groped and insulted enough to be on alert around men. Not to mention brutally sexually assaulted, on more than one occasion. Men should feel lucky I still am sexually attracted to them. No woman has put me through what men have.

No woman who is turned down feels the need to call me fat and ugly. Dudes who get their feelers hurt can get viscous.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

This thread was inspired by the #metoo thread in AASM.

I can't reply there. So I'll say it here.

The guys who feel like they can't work with women now, I assume are the ones who thought it was no big deal to treat woman co-workers in inappropriate ways. Yeah, I'll make assumptions too muhfuckers.

I work with 5 men and one woman on any given day. None, I repeat NONE of them have made me feel threatened in the year and a half I've worked on this crew. So guess what? I'm not going to report anyone for harassment!! What a fucking concept!!!

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

One of my many brothers is a womanizer. He says it's dangerous to work with women. He says they'll make you get fired for being inappropriate when you weren't. I was raised with him and let me tell you, he is very inappropriate. And he hates having to watch his mouth and hands at work.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

This thread was inspired by the #metoo thread in AASM.

I can't reply there. So I'll say it here.

The guys who feel like they can't work with women now, I assume are the ones who thought it was no big deal to treat woman co-workers in inappropriate ways. Yeah, I'll make assumptions too muhfuckers.

I work with 5 men and one woman on any given day. None, I repeat NONE of them have made me feel threatened in the year and a half I've worked on this crew. So guess what? I'm not going to report anyone for harassment!! What a fucking concept!!!

Adding to this point ..

When I worked at the diner on the graveyard shift, I WAS sexually assaulted. I tried to report it to my manager, and even told local police about it. Everyone. Dismissed. Me.

 

[MickeyLee]

These asspuppets find it difficult to be around women in a work place because they lack any ability to not see women as sexual objects.

How hard is " don't say anything to a woman you wouldn't say to a man"

Would you place your hand on the small of a male coworker's back when passing? No. No okay to do to a woman.

Would you tell a male coworker he has a pretty "?"? Don't say it to a woman.

Rely, just pretend women don't have sexual or secondary sexual parts and you will be fine *epic fucking eyeroll*

Also. The whole "I don't know how to behave around women" bullshit is dismissive and low key apologetic of the men who actually make women's lives unsafe/difficult. Imaging that an innocent, benign action will be misread thanks to female over sensitivity/hysteria and some how destroy your career is a form of internalised sexism.

Women put up with so much shit as a standard operating costs it's not funny. The level of shitty that brings complaint is literally "he took his penis out and masturbated in front of me" not "he undressed me with his smile when he asked if I'd like coffee"

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Men think wow i wish beautiful women would touch me and talk about how hot I am. So they think we revel in it. So many are like well you women can get dick anytime you want because you have a pussy. True. But I have standards.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I’m blessed in my current work space, but it’s because male therapists really have to watch their Ps and Qs. What’s innocent clothed and not in a treatment space is radically different when the client is on the table.

Oddly, clients are legally considered in a vulnerable position, but men can be abusive to female (and male) therapists by nature of a financial power (solution, pay therapists well without the need for tipping, cheap bastard clinic owners) and usually size.

And a woman has aggressively come on to me during a session. After making a string of anti-Semitic comments like my people deserved the Holocaust because Christ killers.
I fired/refused to treat her, she hit on the next therapist. Who quit over it.

I worked in a music venue for seven years. Around bands much longer. Only my direct bosses were sexist. I had no issues with the men I worked with or supervised.
But your sensitivity meter needs to be set for Kitchen. As compared to Office. We were rough with each other, yet had each other’s backs.
Expectations for banter are fluid.

 

[693987]

Can I count how many times a man has made me feel unsafe or uncomfortable? No.

For the morons (not that all the participants in that thread are morons) in the metoo thread in AaSM, that number does not include casual conversation with colleagues about what our weekend was like, discussing work, or random people who haven't interacted with me at all. It doesn't count the polite, non-pushy times I've had a colleague express interest or who asked me out. It does count the manager who kept scheduling me to work shifts alone with him, who didn't even try to hide that he had a fetish for Asian women, and who kept looking at porn at work. It does count the clearly drunk man who kept trying to insist on giving me a ride home from a house party who wouldn't accept no for an answer. It does count the clearly drunk man who crashed an evening out with a friend who followed us from on the walk back to my apartment who physically forced his way into my place. It does count the men who think that anyone at a concert is free game to grope (and I don't mean accidentally bump into like people do sometimes when it's very crowded). By grope I mean squeeze on my tits or ass. It does count the men who think that just because I'm sex positive and have had friends with benefits, that they're entitled to getting to fuck me.

Out of all the women I know, easily a quarter, maybe even a third of them have been sexually assaulted. That's out of all of the women I've known over my entire life span. The amount of those women who have gone to law enforcement about it, I can count on a single hand with fingers left.

 

[LaFemme]

Of course I can’t count how many times I’ve been made to feel uncomfortable or unsafe around a man. That’d be like saying, do you look both ways before you cross the street. My first assault occurred at an age I can’t mention. I’ve been groped, pawed, harassed, and assaulted as an adult woman.

I can’t imagine a world where I don’t exercise caution around men. Even men I knew proved to be dangerous. It takes a great deal for a man to prove himself safe to me. I do know quite a few “safe” men, but it took a lot. This site hasn’t done a lot to make me feel safer. A lot of secret hatred lurking out there. On the other hand, there are a few gems. Thank goddess.

I’m really grateful for the ‘me too’ movement. It’s making men think about their past and current behaviour. It’s no longer open season on women. Get consent. Keep your hands to yourself. Keep your comments to yourself. If you’re her boss, then shut the fuck up. Don’t coerce sex in any way. Don’t take advantage of drunk or high women. It’s not brain surgery.

 

[LaFemme]

Oh, and like @Fade, almost every woman I know has been been to feel unsafe. Every woman I talk to about this subject has been sexually harassed, many sexually assaulted. Almost none have gone to the police. I didn’t.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Oh, and like @Fade, almost every woman I know has been been to feel unsafe. Every woman I talk to about this subject has been sexually harassed, many sexually assaulted. Almost none have gone to the police. I didn’t.

I tried that one and only time. Never again. Waste of my sanity.

It's so fucking frustrating to read things like what got posted in that thread. Oh, you're nervous that you have to interact with women at work/ in society because you *think* one of them is going to falsely accuse you of inappropriate behavior?

Try getting sexually assaulted and have everyone call you a liar and claim that you did it for attention. Have people tell you that YOU need to police how others treat YOU, and in almost all those cases those people are physically much stronger than you. And then you have to go back to work with the piece of shit who assaulted you.

 

[693987]

Oh, and like @Fade, almost every woman I know has been been to feel unsafe. Every woman I talk to about this subject has been sexually harassed, many sexually assaulted. Almost none have gone to the police. I didn’t.

I didn't, either. I was young and naive in a lot of ways at that point in my life, but wise enough to know it was unlikely to be productive. I didn't file for a restraining order either, even when the garbage that raped me was stalking me for a while. I got told how unlikely it would be for me to get one + how largely useless it would be. I just did my best to scrape my life together and moved.

 

[LaFemme]

I tried that one and only time. Never again. Waste of my sanity.

It's so fucking frustrating to read things like what got posted in that thread. Oh, you're nervous that you have to interact with women at work/ in society because you *think* one of them is going to falsely accuse you of inappropriate behavior?

Try getting sexually assaulted and have everyone call you a liar and claim that you did it for attention. Have people tell you that YOU need to police how others treat YOU, and in almost all those cases those people are physically much stronger than you. And then you have to go back to work with the piece of shit who assaulted you.

Exactly. And why I didn’t go to the police. It would have been my fault. I would have had to defend myself because I knew the guy. Even though he overpowered me. Lured me to his apartment under false pretences. It still would have been my fault. I had to suck it up and move on.

I moved on by never dating again.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Exactly. And why I didn’t go to the police. It would have been my fault. I would have had to defend myself because I knew the guy. Even though he overpowered me. Lured me to his apartment under false pretences. It still would have been my fault. I had to suck it up and move on.

I moved on by never dating again.

I like to show support. Not because I like what happened to you.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

And after everything I've been through at the hands of men, I'm still capable of working with/meeting new men and not freaking the fuck out like I have to avert my gaze.

ETA: I may be cautious, but that doesn't mean I'm avoiding interaction all together.