Climbing the orgasm ladder

[693987]

Why not relax and have a discussion? Because rapist sympathizers pop up on here more and more frequently. Because a significant amount of men on this site treat the women on this site like we're here for their entertainment. To provide wank fodder, feed egos, and as though we're objects. Because a significant amount of men on this site don't give a fuck what women say, it's just about what they believe. Because your word choice spoke of ignoring consent.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I also believe that I might be posting on the wrong forum. The female community here has clearly been pushed to the edge. And I can't judge that because I don't know what they have gone through. But the rage and anger in response to my corrections is something that I never expected. Again, I get how I worded my initial comment in an incorrect way, but the follow up to my responses boggles my mind. Why not relax and have a discussion? Get to the root and figure out what is actually being discussed?

Well, you got flamed and to be completely honest, no one told you to go fuck yourself, no one told you that you should be physically harmed, no one did anything other than point out something rather fucking relevant.

Don't be so thin skinned. This wasn't the wrong place for your question, just take what you've learned from it and appreciate the honesty.

You're welcome, buddy.

 

[MickeyLee]

I also believe that I might be posting on the wrong forum. The female community here has clearly been pushed to the edge. And I can't judge that because I don't know what they have gone through. But the rage and anger in response to my corrections is something that I never expected. Again, I get how I worded my initial comment in an incorrect way, but the follow up to my responses boggles my mind. Why not relax and have a discussion? Get to the root and figure out what is actually being discussed?

You posted in right sub-forum. You selected your words to convey a moment. You were called out on how your words might be, and where perceived, as being less than respectful of consensual activity.
The women here on not on edge, We did not rate. You were not attacked. You got a correction of phrasing implied consent.

The problem is that when women are saying anything not conforming to expect responses we are called angry, attacking, hostile. It's simp;y a matter of having made our home here we have nothing vested in fluffing or smoke blowing. We are unabashedly honest with our opinions. If that feels too harsh to you, more than the wrong sub-forum, you are on the wrong site.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I also believe that I might be posting on the wrong forum. The female community here has clearly been pushed to the edge. And I can't judge that because I don't know what they have gone through. But the rage and anger in response to my corrections is something that I never expected. Again, I get how I worded my initial comment in an incorrect way, but the follow up to my responses boggles my mind. Why not relax and have a discussion? Get to the root and figure out what is actually being discussed?

I'm not on edge. Your corrections didn't pass the sniff test. They just didn't. That's not the fault of the reader, but rather the writer. You wrote that they tap out and you pin them to give them more. You're not some unique anomaly who is the only man to ever think this is a great idea. So many well-intentioned men could testify that delivered a palm strike with the base of my hand against their foreheads, simultaneous heel strikes to both clavicles, and/or a swift jab to the tops of their heads. When I'm done and start pulling away, this is not the time to double down on eating my pussy. The best lovers read my body better than that, and stop neither too early, nor so late that I'm hurting them as part of my escape plan. I don't believe a single woman here has never experienced this. I don't believe a single man who did this to me meant any harm, but that doesn't mean they couldn't use a lesson in consent, and how it can be withdrawn at any time. It does sound like something you need to learn. Most of the time, sex with me ends in a tangled limb snuggle, and there is a clear ending, and a clear resurgance if there is to be a round two or three or umpteen. This is not the situation you described. I don't need to be pinned down for another round to happen.

When I have been immobilized appropriately, it wasn't after expressing a desire to slow down or stop. Frankly, there are non-verbal expressions of this just as often as verbal. I'm not always able to articulate anything while I'm coming down from my climax. It still seems to be generally understood. Sometimes it is that I'm pulling away, or have issued three taps to his head, chest or back. This has never been misunderstood. It has been ignored. Then I pull away harder and say, "Stop" or "Too much!" It stops then or is rewarded as I described above.

The way you wrote, you literally indicated that they have communicated a desire to stop or slow down, and you proceeded anyway for their own good. This is credible. We've all experienced precisely this, I'm certain. Well, I'm sure your intentions are good, but those actions are immorral, and the thought process is arrogant. Who are you to decide what is and isn't good for her to experience?

The reason no one believes you when you backtrack and say it's after snogging, like I described liking, is two-fold. Your own words have it going from orgasm and impending refractory period, to immediate follow through to take advantage of increased sensitivity to provide additional, stronger orgasms, something we have all likely experienced being attempted. Next, you only offer an alternative scenario after censure, and moreover, you really specify after an acceptable scenario is described. It just comes across as saving face.

If you ever need to save face here, the best way is to acknowledge your error, and discuss a plan for doing better in the future. To your credit, you've done some of that, but you muddied it in backpedaling that lacked real credibility. Your best bet now is to move on.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I would also like to add that I have, in the past, discussed some partners' desires to keep going, generally with oral pleasure, after I want out. With prior consent given, I have been held fast while they continued. I don't like it. There continues to be overstimulation, followed by numbness and a return to an unaroused state, at which point I become bored and sleepy. I also no longer feel sexually generous, and begin not to care if I've done my part to satisfy my partner. I think that's due to the boredom. The only cure is a nap.

When I wake up to the presence of a partner, even after a short nap, I tend to feel amourous, especially if he is awake and smiling, or asleep and adorable. In the case of the latter, I will wake him to commence the next round. Without prior consent, I will not awaken him by initiating the next round. For that, I await a wakeful partner.

The only exception has been the partner I had who used to fondle me, suck my nipples, and call out my name in his sleep. I woke him already astride my mount a few times. He was pleased, so after the first time, consent was assumed to be implied. Oh, and one other partner whom I thought was awake because he verbally and physically responded to my cajoling. Uncharacteristically, I took a lot of photos of what I was doing to him, and when he saw them, he was shocked he'd slept through the whole thing. So was I. He wasn't upset that I'd played with his body, he was only sorry he missed it. I was too. Some of my best work.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Another comment on wording.

My partner has what I call “I’m a flight risk” hold.
His arms are wrapped tightly around my waist, and my movement is restricted to a few inches of lift, a few more of flexion, side to side.
This is typically in a 69, me in top situation, although he’s a tight holder in public from time to time.
The phrase delights him. I love the grip itself.

Now, as a JOKE, and about MYSELF, I can use terms like flight risk.

But, online, with only words, one has to know such phrases, including “pin her down” will hit the readers “ear” wrong.