Do Bisexual men actually settle down with men?

[bigboaster]

Please people. Learn that negative experiences you have had don't give you the right to attack an entire population of people. That is not logical. It's not mature. It's divisive and it is narrow minded.

 

[tyler19872]

It’s really sad to see how discussions around bi guys always disintegrate into this bickering.

The question is loaded, of course bi men do settle down with men.

Let’s try not to offload any bad experiences you may have had upon a whole community.

 

[Ninja108]

It’s really sad to see how discussions around bi guys always disintegrate into this bickering.

The question is loaded, of course bi men do settle down with men.

Let’s try not to offload any bad experiences you may have had upon a whole community.

I pretty much knew how the thread was going to go the minute the topic was posted and the same folks who will get angry if you make generalizations about gay men or women just love to do so with bisexuals and then expect those who are bisexual to just read that garbage and just nod in agreement with it or not say anything in defense of themselves.
Bull.

 

[gloryholesfbay]

I agree with the last two comments - the question is loaded to imply bi men don't commit to men, and that gay men DO?

 

[sylarrr007]

Oddly enough in my experience straight men are the most accepting of bisexual men. Also in my personal experience gay men are the least accepting of bisexual men but I give everyone the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise.

Know why this is true?................... because straight men don't date men, gay men do and our experiences aren't pretty, at least mine wasn't

 

[sylarrr007]

Please people. Learn that negative experiences you have had don't give you the right to attack an entire population of people. That is not logical. It's not mature. It's divisive and it is narrow minded.

Yes it does, just like how I don't blame homophobes who arm themselves with the idea that "gay men wants to convert them" because there's some truth to it, I mean just look at the men famous gay designers are attracted to then add Ricky Martin to the mix.

You want to know what your problem as bi men is? In your world, you can do no wrong, gay men call out other gay men all the time for leaning into harmful stereotypes but y'all never call out your fellow bi men especially when we are on this thread as gay men and recently a straight woman recalling our hurtful experiences with bi men because in your world they are perfect and it's gay men and straight women that have to change to accommodate bi men. Seriously, what's so wrong for calling out your fellow bi men who lean into those harmful stereotypes that continues to show y'all in a bad light?

The question is loaded, of course bi men do settle down with men.

Yes it happens and it's a minority but that's an answer for another day

 

[FrankieGuile]

Next time, maybe break down the reasons that explain away any negative impacts of bisexual men's actions. If this didn't explain you, then you wouldn't even reply to this. This triggered something inside of you for a reason. If this isn't who you are, then I apologise. But you guys make it so hard to discuss these things with. It's it's phobic then i give up, it's phobic.

Maybe instead of an essay I should have written..

Stop using people for selfish gain and thinking that you are entitled enough to use PC policing culture to not be called out on it.​

When anything becomes a default accusation for everything (e.g., racism, homophobia, biphobia) then it loses its power and meaning. That said, I'm not sure of the point you're making, but I am curious to see it -- I just don't have the patience to read multiple paragraphs about it.

 

[sylarrr007]

When anything becomes a default accusation for everything (e.g., racism, homophobia, biphobia) then it loses its power and meaning. That said, I'm not sure of the point you're making, but I am curious to see it -- I just don't have the patience to read multiple paragraphs about it.

So you responded to a comment you didn't read? Wow

 

[Lolabriguda]

In my experience, no. Most seem to be fetishists who want to try something different but ultimately you’ll just be a temporary outlet. I wouldn’t make the mistake of having long term expectations again, but that’s just been my experiences with bisexual men.

 

[alexbickle]

Only bisexuals can change this narrative by stop enabling the bad apples. You can’t expect change when you perpetuate stereotypes.

Maybe stop dating guys because they "act straight" and being surprised when they actually are hun

 

[FrankieGuile]

So you responded to a comment you didn't read? Wow

No, I responded to a person who is not you. I'm interested in her perspective and not yours.

 

[Smallteaplant]

Anyways, the majority of bisexual men I’ve met have been losers that complain that women including bi women are very less likely to date a bi man, nevermind how another male oriented man would think about them. To me in the end it’s just unattractive and just goes to show what goes around comes around.

First of all, I'd like to say thanks to the gay men who are defending women along with themselves. I don't think the majority of these men really think about the way they can come across at times. This whole sex culture, where any hole is a goal, is a complete fraud. If they can step over the line with you to have a sexual relationship, then as long as they aren't dead inside, they should be capable of loving you. I can't imagine a straight man telling a woman so openly that he only wants her for sex because she's blonde and he prefers brunettes. But the PC police come in and say "well you must accept it and move on." But no, I think we all have a right to complain about this selfish culture. If they want to bring up other wrongdoings that other sexualities have done, then they can start their own threads. In fact, many have done so already. One started one saying his wife doesn't support him coming out as bi. When others wanted details it was actually because he said he was going to explore his sexuality (I don't know why they can't say have sex with men), as he felt like he was missing out. So she left him. It's all me me me.

Look, I know not ALL bisexual men fit the negative stereotypes, but the few who do dont make you look great. It's a unique situation you guys are in, so not every criticism applies to other sexualities. When the stories to us seem cruel and selfish, then it will stick more often than the ones who don't. Especially those men who were a positive influence for the bi community, who then want to explore or open up their relationships at some point. I love how that Zach journalist in those links is screaming for people to trust bi men, and he's now in a poly relationship with a man and woman. Any woman reading his articles, looking for hope, would run 10 million miles away from their partner after this. It's his life and he's free to life it how he wishes but the fact that he can't see how he himself slowly wanted both sides of the pie and kept going until he found a great situation for himself, just shows you that you can't argue with these people. Women, especially those who have been hurt in the past by men of all sexualities will always be cautious with any man who walks into her life. The risk that those women see in these bi men is far too high for them. Yes, some may have lost all attraction for those men afterwards also, but most are just scared, and to protect themselves, they'd rather be with someone who just has all the regular bulls**t. Bi men to women have the regular with a little extra on top, and that's more than they can handle. Trust should be earned, and it's not an easy thing to do when it's a whole new territory for people. The media never shows a healthy bi man and woman in a relationship. The narrative getting told for bisexuals, whether truthful or not, is that in the end, the need for dick will always win.

Next is the issue that I don't think the straight women and most bi men are sexually compatible. To say that..

Women are for romance, and men are for fun,​

.. is really offensive. It basically suggests that one or the other doesn't totally fufill you. I call BS. How can you be capable of doing the most intimate thing a human can do with another human being, and make yourself vulnerable, and yet the day to day part of being in a relationship is not possible? Would a soft crevice in a wall do the same job? The ones to actively seek out men are actively seeking out MEN and not women. There is something that draws you in whether you like it or not. Most can't walk away from this. I wouldn't like to think this, but I can't really see any other explanation other than they only want an incubator, and the sheild from stigma is a bonus. When the kids grow up and their prime days of their lives are gone, that's when panic sets in. Those women were deceived, and you know it.

Do you not stop, just to think about why it is that the majority of women won't date bi men? The gut instinct is a great tool, and most learn from past mistakes in how to spot a bullsh*tter. Has no one ever looked into it apart from calling them out as phobic? Whether their opinions are rational or not, the truth is that these are still real humane feelings. They are still hurting because of it. I'm sure if you asked any women whose found out that her partner is bi and she's finishing with him, that if she could push a button to be ok with it all, and stay with him, then she would. Or we could just force them together? I'm sure that would work out great even when she's lost all attraction for him.

I saw a message on another site where a bi man had said he wanted to end up with a woman so that he could have a family. I beg you, if you ever find yourself feeling like this is the only reason you want a woman, then don't do it. No woman wants picked because her wombs working. That's selfish. Just like no woman should pick a man because he has good swimmers. Pick women because you like women all the essence that we bring.
I must admit, I find it difficult to understand how you can like both of the opposite ends of the scale. But I'm not here to question that. And yes, there are all types of sexualities who hinder and hurt women, but this thread isn't about that. I think this thread would have been a lot shorter if more bi men just stood up and said 'yes there are men that let us down and prevent us from being taken seriously as a partner.' But all we hear is excuses and pointing fingers in other directions. Porn use and hook up culture do not help with men's attitudes towards sex. It's seen as something that should be given to you, is expected, and required of you to have a happy, fulfilling life. I only hope there will be some emotion thrown in at somepoints otherwise, what happens if it turns black and falls off? Where are you going to find happiness from then?

There are a lot of these men who are married or taken, looking around on gay apps, throughout the world, for men to have sex with on top of their marriages or relationships. So where are the articles calling out these men for being creeps? Maybe find out why you want and need to have sex without emotions first of all, and why you think that this is OK? These gay men who you are upfront with about only wanting sex, I wonder if it's when he is already aroused, or if he is lonely, and is therefore more susceptible in being OK with it. This is manipulative. No one should be used as a toy if they are not in a good head space to even acknowledge what it means. And I understand this doesn't fit every bi man's hook up partner, but it seems to be the majority of complaints that you guys receive.

I just don't know the answers at this point, and I don't know how to move forward with this. We feel how we feel. You hurt us or people we can relate to, so we will feel a type of way about it. The truth is that you don't think the same as gay men and straight women, who only like one type of gender and energy, and that's masculine. So we sometimes try and wrap our heads around it, and yet when a story is told that shows you actually only use one side of this scale for different reasons, it makes us become defensive. We become defensive and try and explain, and all we hear is well this is how it is, like it, or leave. We leave and you whine, but we stay and you cheat or want to open up relationships or have threesomes with partners who are already so in love with you they just don't want to see you leave. Maybe it's the power you have that's erotic. It's all still too messy for some of us.

Lastly, I've seen others say this, but don't ever tell any woman that you have been socially conditioned to like her. No woman welcomes someone in thinking they are only with her because they were brainwashed to do so. It's very hurtful, and I think people forget that women are the other 50% of the population and are here. Whether we like it or not, procreation is the main objective for both genders being here and there has to be some way in drawing each other in. Otherwise, we would have appointments arranged to meet randoms rather than relying on attraction. That narrative is offensive and cheapens any relationship that's going strong.

To the bi men who have relationships that are stable and full of love, maybe you don't hear it as much, so I'll say it, well done. I just hope there wasn't any, or even too much heartbreak caused through any selfishness to get you there.

You’re a true queen for this. I don’t mind bisexuals. My issue is the mind games that are played where you’re bigoted for pointing out the realities of dating some bi men. Life is too short to be playing these games.

 

[dreamer20]

Bi men will usually only say men are for sex only, that’s nothing we want to hear, if you want a man for sex, hook up with another bi man that has the same mindset

^^If you want a man for sex hook up with another man of the same mindset - where either, or both men, could be pan, bi or gay. Had you simply stated this you wouldn't be seen as being prejudiced against bisexuals - but the same bigotry is repeated again and again, over and over here.

 

[ILoveGames48]

I am bi( more gay than straight though)


Been with more guys than I dare say — and few women over the years.. then suddenly I met this much younger guy ( at the time I was 49 he was 20/21 .. he walks up to me ( in the club /bar .. and wanted to chat and we got to chatting and decided to go to my place

I told him as we sat on couch talking drinking few beers that I been with a lot of guys over the years and kind of like to find that special someone to be with ..

He said same thing but he liked older guys

So we talked and dated for few months.. nothing sexual ( we did kiss and all few times but never went below the waist ..

I was after 6mths or so we were making out and he acted like he wanted to go further .. .. there I was sitting on side of the bed.. told him I didn’t care if he had a small penis as I wasn’t falling in love with that as I was falling in love with him ..


This is when he told me he was trans… I looked at him and he says.. ftm.. female to male.. I was like I know.. told him about what I knew about it .. he acted like I was going to kick his ass or something.. because a guy he was with before beat him up after finding g out he was trans..

I was like so what now.. he tells me we can go on doing what getting ready to do.. or he’d go home..
I smiled and told him he’d been here more than his own place as his room mate was a jerk.. ..


And ran my hands up his shirt feeling his stomach and chest and told him that doesn’t change how I feel about him..


So no matter what.. you do.. you say you are bi but when the time comes and you meet that special someone .. your mind may say one thing .. but your heart will say another

 

[sylarrr007]

No, I responded to a person who is not you. I'm interested in her perspective and not yours.

A perspective you didn't read but ok

 

[jthomasmpls]

Know why this is true?................... because straight men don't date men, gay men do and our experiences aren't pretty, at least mine wasn't

I am sorry you had a negative experience(s). We have all had negative experiences with other people bi, straight or gay, that's life. I don't thinks it fair to judge or stereotype any group because of the behavior of some.

 

[WilliamG]

So... What we have learned (in my best Huell Howser voice) is... We don't really know whether bisexual men settle down with men by any statistic. Why? because some here are hung up on the definitions.

So the question could be: Do men who have sex with woman AND suck other men's dicks end up with men? I would think some do.

 

[jthomasmpls]

Yes it does, just like how I don't blame homophobes who arm themselves with the idea that "gay men wants to convert them" because there's some truth to it, I mean just look at the men famous gay designers are attracted to then add Ricky Martin to the mix.

You want to know what your problem as bi men is? In your world, you can do no wrong, gay men call out other gay men all the time for leaning into harmful stereotypes but y'all never call out your fellow bi men especially when we are on this thread as gay men and recently a straight woman recalling our hurtful experiences with bi men because in your world they are perfect and it's gay men and straight women that have to change to accommodate bi men. Seriously, what's so wrong for calling out your fellow bi men who lean into those harmful stereotypes that continues to show y'all in a bad light?

Yes it happens and it's a minority but that's an answer for another day

I don't understand why gay men or women comment on threads like this. The original question, "Do Bisexual Men Actually Settle Down with Men?", is best answered by bisexual men. The answer is yes. It seems the bone of contention from gay men is not enough and from straight women the answer is too many.

What other group of people; race, creed, national origin, sexual orientation, martial status, age, military status, disability is it okay to stereotype? Please share the acceptable stereotypes of any of those groups except bisexual men, that horse is beat, dead and buried.

 

[WilliamG]

I don't understand why gay men or women comment on threads like this. The original question, "Do Bisexual Men Actually Settle Down with Men?", is best answered by bisexual men. The answer is yes. It seems the bone of contention from gay men is not enough and from straight women the answer is too many.

What other group of people; race, creed, national origin, sexual orientation, martial status, age, military status, disability is it okay to stereotype? Please share the acceptable stereotypes of any of those groups except bisexual men, that horse is beat, dead and buried.

They are free to comment here but... That's why the Ask A Bisexual section is there. It keeps the conversations focused on those who may have some experience with the topic. I tend to only start conversation there for this reason.

 

[FrankieGuile]

A perspective you didn't read but ok

I didn't realize you were looking over my shoulder when I read the post to which I responded! Your powers of invisibility are only rivaled by your profound peevish presumption.