Do Women Prefer Bisexual Men?

[btgbtmfl]

It seems most of you consider bi-guys more promiscuous and dishonest for whatever reason

 

[deleted19151801]

would it be any different with the genders reversed?

Yes.

Lesbians are the most like to report sexual fidelity, followed by heterosexuals, and then gay males, and last, bisexuals.

Obviously, there is infidelity in every group. But if we're comparing rates, lesbians statistically are at the bottom and bisexuals are at the top. There are, of course, exceptions to every rule. But these individuals are the exception. Not the rule. Many people, especially women, are just not willing to take that risk by dating a bisexual, and that's perfectly fine and understandable. Find someone who is willing to take that risk. Very simple

Source

 

[btgbtmfl]

Yes.



Obviously, there is infidelity in every group. But if we're comparing rates, lesbians statistically are at the bottom and bisexuals are at the top. There are, of course, exceptions to every rule. But these individuals are the exception. Not the rule. Many people, especially women, are just not willing to take that risk by dating a bisexual, and that's perfectly fine and understandable. Find someone who is willing to take that risk. Very simple

Source

my question was about the infidelity itself

Couldn't find the actual sources for those statements in that article, but nevertheless interesting for other reasons thank you for pointing it out

"Confer and Cloud, from UT Austin, the home of David Buss, and evolutionary research on jealousy, recently published research suggesting that men and women respond to bisexual infidelity differently. Men are far more likely (60 percent) to stay with a female partner, after she has an affair with another woman, than are women likely to stay with their male partner, who has sex with another man (only 26 percent of women would stay in relationship). In contrast, 33 percent of women would stay with a man who had a heterosexual affair, and 25 percent of men would stay with a woman after heterosexual infidelity. The authors suggest that this reflect the role of evolution, and the male fear of cuckoldry driving the great disparity between male reaction to heterosexual or bisexual infidelity. They further suggest that female fear of the loss of intimacy and support, also allegedly driven by evolutionary influences, explains the female pattern, that in male partners, "homosexual affairs are more reflective of ensuing abandonment as they evince a more complete absence of emotional intimacy and satisfaction with one's partner."'

 

[deleted19151801]

my question was about the infidelity itself

Couldn't find the actual sources for those statements in that article, but nevertheless interesting for other reasons thank you for pointing it out

"Confer and Cloud, from UT Austin, the home of David Buss, and evolutionary research on jealousy, recently published research suggesting that men and women respond to bisexual infidelity differently. Men are far more likely (60 percent) to stay with a female partner, after she has an affair with another woman, than are women likely to stay with their male partner, who has sex with another man (only 26 percent of women would stay in relationship). In contrast, 33 percent of women would stay with a man who had a heterosexual affair, and 25 percent of men would stay with a woman after heterosexual infidelity. The authors suggest that this reflect the role of evolution, and the male fear of cuckoldry driving the great disparity between male reaction to heterosexual or bisexual infidelity. They further suggest that female fear of the loss of intimacy and support, also allegedly driven by evolutionary influences, explains the female pattern, that in male partners, "homosexual affairs are more reflective of ensuing abandonment as they evince a more complete absence of emotional intimacy and satisfaction with one's partner."'

Whatever the case may be, a lot, if not most, women have a hard time trusting the loyalty of men, in general. Bisexuality is just an added complication to building that trust. Some women are willing to take that risk. Many are not. Maybe bisexual men should just stick with men since, according to them, men are "easier to deal with," anyway. If one is bi, it's not like sticking to one sex is a great loss. You literally have a whole other demographic to choose from. That's why the "women won't date bi men" complaint confuses me a bit.

 

[WilliamG]

Unless there are sexy men in Guitar Player magazine I'm thinking he buys it for the articles! LOL!

Back in the 80's-90's when I was in bands, I used to read Guitar Player (now it's online). My then girl friend LOVED the long hair and spandex photos of the day! Nowadays, many players have a nerdy sense to them. Dirty little secret: Most of us started out as somewhat nerdy intraverts holed up in our bedrooms learning riffs.

Edit: To stay on thread... Yes, I think women know bi men may wander. And my personal opinion is that a long term marriage with either party being bi is rare. And lets be fair... There are a number of sites out there with married women looking for discreet hookups with other women. But based on my informal data, there are a lot of men that make a fantasy out of that. I see very few women feeling the same. And that's OK.

 

[WilliamG]

Men are far more likely (60 percent) to stay with a female partner, after she has an affair with another woman, than are women likely to stay with their male partner, who has sex with another man (only 26 percent of women would stay in relationship).

Part of that is as I posted prior: Some men accept that as a perk. "Well it's not another man" kind of attitude. Plus the few who fantasize the arrangement. It's much like if a guy finds his lady as a dildo he gets a bit excited. But if the lady finds a guys dildo (with not prior history)... Not the same. I can remember my wife finding me masturbating at home one nice. She was disturbed by it. Though we had/have a good sex life... She could not wrap her head around it. But I get it as it's kind of a societal norm.

 

[EllieP]

Back in the 80's-90's when I was in bands, I used to read Guitar Player (now it's online). My then girl friend LOVED the long hair and spandex photos of the day! Nowadays, many players have a nerdy sense to them. Dirty little secret: Most of us started out as somewhat nerdy intraverts holed up in our bedrooms learning riffs.

Edit: To stay on thread... Yes, I think women know bi men may wander. And my personal opinion is that a long term marriage with either party being bi is rare. And lets be fair... There are a number of sites out there with married women looking for discreet hookups with other women. But based on my informal data, there are a lot of men that make a fantasy out of that. I see very few women feeling the same. And that's OK.

I find women very attractive, but I don't have a nerve in my body that longs to be in a romantic or even erotic relationship with one.

I've always said that if I woke up in a male body I'm pretty certain I'd be gay.

 

[Trevor]

I find women very attractive, but I don't have a nerve in my body that longs to be in a romantic or even erotic relationship with one.

I've always said that if I woke up in a male body I'm pretty certain I'd

So you have no desire to be in a romantic or even an erotic relationship with a woman you find attractive but how about a one night stand?

With a lot of guys that is all it is, completely sexual just blowing off steam. Unlike some bi dudes (who think kissing is too intimate) I will kiss and make out with the guy but once we both get our nut it is usually over, usually if we fucked we will hold each other for a while after. Then we get dressed hug and kiss each other goodbye and say "c-ya later buddy". I have had a few guys I hooked up with who became buds largely due to other interests we had in common but with most guys I only hooked up with them once, it was hot, but I never saw them again...or if I did they were with their gf or their wife and kids.

I have desire to have a gay wedding, set up housekeeping or adopt kids with any of them, but I must admit that I still have feelings for some of the guys that I hooked up with as much as 25 years ago. A while back I found out this guy I had a one night stand with in college when we were both 20 had committed suicide when he was 35 and I must admit I got pretty emotional about it.

Although we only hooked up once I had chatted with this dude who had a very strict Catholic upbringing quite a bit and I desperately tried to help him come to terms with his homosexuality. I thought he had but apparently he never did and finally chose to end his life 15 years later which was incredibly sad because he was highly intelligent, a gifted athlete, and a beautiful young man.

 

[EllieP]

No desire for romance or sex play with another woman. I'm just not wired like that. Oh, I find many women very attractive. I love their figure, their features, their carriage. But hanky panky with them? Zero interest.

Of course, I kind of feel the same for other men, too. I already got a guy. No need for another. But I can admire from afar.

 

[FrankieGuile]

No desire for romance or sex play with another woman. I'm just not wired like that. Oh, I find many women very attractive. I love their figure, their features, their carriage. But hanky panky with them? Zero interest.

Of course, I kind of feel the same for other men, too. I already got a guy. No need for another. But I can admire from afar.

I'll anticipate 90% of the remaining posts from guys by quoting the incomparable Lloyd: "So you're tellin' me there's a chance!"

 

[TriplePoint PolyBi]

On a serious note, how can bisexual men seriously be surprised when most women are hesitant to be with them with behavior like this? Yes, straight men cheat, too. But it's not nearly as easy to hookup with random women as it is to hookup with random men. Again, why are so many bi men surprised and upset when women prefer not to deal with that? The behavior of so many of their fellow bi men is ruining their reputations. Why not be angry at and chastise them instead?

This. Because it's "easy" the bi guys don't have to put in any effort to hook up with other men, the women think they're cheating, and the consequence is that it tarnishes the reputation of all bi men.

The trouble is that as much as i love being bi if I did that I'd personally feel that not only was I cheating on my spouse I'd also feel that I was cheating on myself.

Back before there was an internet and HIV was rampant and deadly, being bi was even worse of a turn-off for bi men in the eyes of women. So I closeted and repressed myself with thick walls (think of the trapped miners in Chile that were stuck under half a mile of rock, That was what my barrier felt like) On a rare occasion I'd meet a bi woman and admit I was bi myself, and it was like a lifeline that extended deep into my soul. So to this day I'm eternally grateful to bi women. Last month at our local Pride parade i was eagerly handing out bi flags and stickers at our local booth and every time a woman stopped, accepted the flags with a big smile and said excitedly, "I'm bi!" it just fed my own acceptance. And then lately I discovered there are (albeit rare) women that like to watch the guys make out and that, in turn got me hot and willing to even think about things I'd never thought I'd do before with a guy (e.g., kiss) because it got the women hot. So I was discovering a positive enhancing moment where the bi energy between us was amplified and made it enjoyable for both genders..

And then there are all the bi guys here that don't want to spend the effort to cultivate a bi relationship with their women (Yes, it's easier to hook up with guys on the side and not tell the wives, but it screws up things for the rest of us) Relationships are work. The hardest thing to do is to have her WANT to be with us.

When the men 'cheat' on the DL for their M-M sex I can't blame the women here for being wary. To these women: I'm sorry. But rest assured not all of us bi guys are like that. I wish I could convince you otherwise.

 

[ManchesterTom]

This. Because it's "easy" the bi guys don't have to put in any effort to hook up with other men, the women think they're cheating, and the consequence is that it tarnishes the reputation of all bi men.

The trouble is that as much as i love being bi if I did that I'd personally feel that not only was I cheating on my spouse I'd also feel that I was cheating on myself.

Back before there was an internet and HIV was rampant and deadly, being bi was even worse of a turn-off for bi men in the eyes of women. So I closeted and repressed myself with thick walls (think of the trapped miners in Chile that were stuck under half a mile of rock, That was what my barrier felt like) On a rare occasion I'd meet a bi woman and admit I was bi myself, and it was like a lifeline that extended deep into my soul. So to this day I'm eternally grateful to bi women. Last month at our local Pride parade i was eagerly handing out bi flags and stickers at our local booth and every time a woman stopped, accepted the flags with a big smile and said excitedly, "I'm bi!" it just fed my own acceptance. And then lately I discovered there are (albeit rare) women that like to watch the guys make out and that, in turn got me hot and willing to even think about things I'd never thought I'd do before with a guy (e.g., kiss) because it got the women hot. So I was discovering a positive enhancing moment where the bi energy between us was amplified and made it enjoyable for both genders..

And then there are all the bi guys here that don't want to spend the effort to cultivate a bi relationship with their women (Yes, it's easier to hook up with guys on the side and not tell the wives, but it screws up things for the rest of us) Relationships are work. The hardest thing to do is to have her WANT to be with us.

When the men 'cheat' on the DL for their M-M sex I can't blame the women here for being wary. To these women: I'm sorry. But rest assured not all of us bi guys are like that. I wish I could convince you otherwise.

My wife is very turned on by two guys making out. She has had this during a previous relationship. I haven't crossed into this territory because I don't want OUR relationship to change.

 

[FrankieGuile]

I came out as bi to a long term partner. She got really angry and turfed me out as" I'll always want something else". It really upset me,. Being bi doesn't mean we're promiscuous slags. So you're right. Bi phobia is very, very real

She "got really angry" and "turfed" you out. Why is it evidence of "bi-phobia" to be angry and break up with you? Don't you know the difference between never wanting to see you again and fearing you because of your sexual preference? Is her own sexual preference a sign of bi-phobia merely because it does not align with your particularly sexual preference? Maybe she was angry at you because you twisted her opinions and actions to suit your particular narratives?

 

[SpruceBringsteen]

She "got really angry" and "turfed" you out. Why is it evidence of "bi-phobia" to be angry and break up with you? Don't you know the difference between never wanting to see you again and fearing you because of your sexual preference? Is her own sexual preference a sign of bi-phobia merely because it does not align with your particularly sexual preference? Maybe she was angry at you because you twisted her opinions and actions to suit your particular narratives?

Probably because she said it was the reason, and the only one when we discussed it. But I suppose you’d know far more about my former long term relationships and conversations we’ve had than I would.

 

[SpruceBringsteen]

Apologies to @FrankieGuile as that came across as snippy from me there. To expand, we still get on (me and my ex partner) and it’s something we’ve discussed after.

 

[deleted21786781]

To answer OP:

I'm straight and only interested in straight men. Finding out a man is bisexual is an immediate turn off.

 

[FrankieGuile]

Apologies to @FrankieGuile as that came across as snippy from me there. To expand, we still get on (me and my ex partner) and it’s something we’ve discussed after.

Not to worry...I'm a grown up and know how to handle it. That said, your added information still does not support the notion of bi-phobia, even if it is the reason she broke up with you. She can both adhere to her own preference -- as you do yours -- and not fear your preference. I like Lucky Charms, I don't like Fruit Loops. That doesn't mean I'm "Fruit Loop-phobic."

 

[royal_madnessty]

I think it's hot and they do turn me on. As for it being a preference, no. Bi/straight whatever, it doesn't say anything about him being a good person or relationship material.

 

[Zee23]

I have never in my life met a woman that would even date a bisexual man. Once a man goes that direction there’s no coming back. And it’s not for prejudice reasons, it’s just we cannot offer what a man can so we would not be attracted. Hope that makes sense.

 

[FrankieGuile]

I have never in my life met a woman that would even date a bisexual man. Once a man goes that direction there’s no coming back. And it’s not for prejudice reasons, it’s just we cannot offer what a man can so we would not be attracted. Hope that makes sense.

The words make sense -- they're all arranged in a syntax and using grammar that can be understood. And they appear sincere. But making sense and being sincere do not equate to agreement from others -- either other women or other men with different experiences and attitudes which only makes sense.