Do You Feel "freer" In Terms Of Attitudes Towards Sex Compared To 5,10,20 Etc. Years Ago?

[JBrown61]

I've been reading "Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again" by Katherine Angel, and coupled with the popularity but also (mostly male) puritanical rage at Cardi and Megan's WAP and its performance at the Grammy's, I've been wondering: Are we-or at least women- actually getting more sexually liberated as a society? Are we coming upon the last gasp of sexual puritanism in the United States, or is the phenomenon of slut-shaming and similar behaviors that place a lid on women's sexuality just changing form?

I've had this question with a few friends and partners, so, I thought I'd also ask the opinions of folks here:
1. How do you personally define your freedom, if at all?
2. Do you feel "freer" than you did 5, 10, or 20 years ago?
3. What do you make of the popularity of a song like WAP? Is it a symbol of changing attitudes, or just saying what millions of women have already been thinking for decades?
4. What has and hasn't changed in attitudes towards women's sexuality, in ways both obvious and less obvious?

Also, I'd also like to ask this in the context of geographic location. My question is mostly answered already, as right now in much of the Southern and Southeastern United States, most notably Arkansas, abortion rights are being curbed in horrible ways that I can't ever begin to imagine. At the risk of sounding like I'm ignoring those struggles, I'm wondering about folks' answers alongside their access to reproductive healthcare in their respective area.

Apologies in advance for my complete ignorance on this topic and if I'm digging too deep, hitting a sore spot, or asking the completely wrong set of questions- in which case I welcome everyone's feedback. And yes, I realize the irony of a guy focusing in on this particular topic of women's issues, as opposed to advances in the workplace or political representation.

 

[deleted848353]

I'll have to come back to this when I'm able to actually give you a good answer on this.

 

[Holly Doors]

Well I can't answer either as you appear to have limited your question to the United States, this is an international site/group however totally in if you're looking for responses in your immediate area only, unless I've read it wrong of course x

 

[deleted848353]

Well I can't answer either as you appear to have limited your question to the United States, this is an international site/group however totally in if you're looking for responses in your immediate area only, unless I've read it wrong of course x

You read it wrong I read it as he wants answers even if it's just to ur geographic location ie anywhere in the world. His example of parts of the USA is probably relevant to his area or areas he knows. Is that a correct assumption on my part @JBrown61

 

[JBrown61]

You read it wrong I read it as he wants answers even if it's just to ur geographic location ie anywhere in the world. His example of parts of the USA is probably relevant to his area or areas he knows. Is that a correct assumption on my part @JBrown61

Yes, you're correct. I'll edit my post to make it clearer.

I only had the United States in mind, because that's where I live, and is the only place I could think of examples (like the discussion around WAP and anti-choice laws), as it's the only place where I'm tuned into the pop culture and the news cycle.

But everyone is encouraged to answer no matter where you are, as these issues exist everywhere and are part of a global discussion.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Women will not be sexually liberated until A) no person will ever ask, but what were you wearing/why were you out there at that time, B) birth control and abortion are allowed in every nation in the world, without u due strain on the woman seeking it, C) transwomen aren’t killed by guys who think having sex with a woman, no matter her body, makes them gay and the kill out of rage/embarrassment, D) when the worst thing a woman has to fear in an encounter with a man is embarrassment, not rape or death.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

As for personally, you asked:
1. How do you personally define your freedom, if at all?
I have agency over my body in day to day interactions. I can chose to pursue a relationship with little interference.

2. Do you feel "freer" than you did 5, 10, or 20 years ago?
Well, I was 32 20 years ago... five years ago my then partner was into shaming my wants and desires. That was limiting, by an outside force. I’m also dropping in fertility, so there’s freedom there.

3. What do you make of the popularity of a song like WAP? Is it a symbol of changing attitudes, or just saying what millions of women have already been thinking for decades?
have to skip that song in particular.. I know what it stands for, but the fact that it’s a Big Deal is as telling as ball players taking a knee against police killings and brutality.
why are we having to fight for basic rights?
Why the pushback?

4. What has and hasn't changed in attitudes towards women's sexuality, in ways both obvious and less obvious?
If I want to be safe, I have to be with a dude, or have “signs of ownership.” I wear a ring on my left hand. I’m not married, but men see it and suddenly there is some respect.
I was at a show dancing. My Love was onstage. Some dude felt he had to come up behind me in a dark bar and talk about “how you look shaking your ass.”
Now, I dance like the DeadHead I am...look it up online... There’s nothing that says “come onto me” in this dance, I’m dancing with the music (which I happen to see as color)
I froze and moved away. He followed. I stayed silent...not willing to expend the energy. He kept blabbing and then said, oh, you are with the band. Which one? (As if it’s his business...but one “owns” me. I remained silent, then said, “the one with grey hair.“
Mr Shakeass grunted, called me a bitch, and walked away.
Luckily, the set ended, so I made it a point to hug all four grey haired members of the band. (I told the girlfriends and wives a short version of the story.)

Mr Shakeass did stare at me all night.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Well I can't answer either as you appear to have limited your question to the United States, this is an international site/group however totally in if you're looking for responses in your immediate area only, unless I've read it wrong of course x

He’s asking for personal experience. His mention of location was his own.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

WAP is entertaining and I do listen to it, but I don't feel like it represents my sexual freedom because it's far from the first song of its kind. I feel like a lot of the lyrics are still giving men what they want to hear, not what women have to say.

It is significant to hear women speak proudly about their wet pussies and all, but it doesn't make me feel "free".

I grew up listening to Lil Kim, Gangsta Boo, La Chat, Trina, and others. Cardi and Megan spit, and I like them both but to me being someone who's been into that genre my whole life and have listened to so many badass women write about sex in such an open and unashamed way it's just weird to see the reaction still be so big. I'm just over here like, uh... Am I the only one who listened to Kim rap "Suck My Dick"? That song is way raunchier than WAP, and it's about 20 years older.

So, it doesn't make me feel free when it's still such an overblown thing. Women rap about sex. Why the world keeps flipping shit over it, well... It's because a whole lot of the world still isn't ready for sexually open and shameless women. Too fuckin bad for them. Cuz I sure as fuck ain't dead yet..

 

[MickeyLee]

I grew up sexually with radical dykes, fetish folks, Old School Leather devotees. There was never a time in my life when outside forces dictated my sexuality. I stress Old School cuz the current online kink scene is rife with predators and popular media uses kink as a decorative wrap for abuse and toxicity.

I was more out spoken of my perv nature 10-15 years ago. I was also insulated in my queer circles which gave me a safe space buffered with support. Openly affectionate, a shameless flirt and defiantly pro-hook up.

Sadly, the world is a very different place now. Radicalized now belongs to Nationalist, Racists, InCels and MRA. Queer sexuality is marketed. The only acceptable expression of female sexuality is availability and willingness to please.

WAP, nothing new to me. Punk queers been getting lyrical about scootie for decades. See the entirety of Lynn Breedlove's catalog. It does illustrate my point about availability being the current standard of sexual expression from women.

I am a freenik. First rule of Freenik is boundaries, know them and enforce them. I own my sex, my sexual expression and the influence I allow to sway any other the two.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Thunderous applause for Ms ML

 

[Enid]

What is WAP?

 

[LaFemme]

What is WAP?

Wet Ass Pussy.