Does It Just Depend On The Woman ?

[Scarletbegonia]

I’m heading to the shower with a wire brush, now.

 

[LaFemme]

Seriously. Hope his wife gets everything in the divorce. Sucked off 4 guys in the park? Ick. No wonder she’s off sex. She can sense he’s giving head. She can smell it on him.

Women might not know for sure, but they know something’s up. And he wonders why he’s in a sexless marriage. He’s been cheating on her. He’s sucking dick everywhere. Um, yeah.

 

[ArtAppreciation]

What would happen if the shoe was on the other foot that you were bi instead of your husband ever think about a guys feeling about that ?

Did you read her post
She took the time to teach you some things
Like cracked some free eggs on ya head type pat pat just checking on ya if you read before you asked

I don’t always

 

[AlteredEgo]

Guess you guys would rather me just divorce her and throw her out on the street then I really can't do that to a person so I guess finding help but tried it once and she acted like nothing was wrong with our sex life..So a therapist didn't work what else is there she won't talk about it at all just fed up at this point and really thru putting up with women in general....I gave her a 100 percent when we had sex and she liked it I wasn't getting anything back kind of hard having sex with someone that won't really have sex with you suppose to be a two way street not just what she wants...

I'm not your wife. You don't pay any of my bills. I don't have to put up with your bitterness, and I don't have to fellate your shriveled ego. There is no reason to be upset that my opinion wasn't the guilt absolver you hoped for.

Will your insurance not cover a surgically implanted pump? I have spoken to men with nerve damage who still retain some sensitivity in their penis and balls (the ones who still had testicles), but just can't get erections. Most of them liked their implants. Some of them were embarrased and shy having to show it to new partners. Os

And saying degrading things about a guy that has ed just isn't right either I didn't ask for it I worked my ass off supporting our kids till they got older and what did I get out of it a sore back which is causing my ed can't just fix it tryed for 10 years to fix it not happening and gonna happen to all your men also so thats just rude to do ....

Who degraded you for having ED? I only asked what you tried. I didn't see anyone else degrading you either.

I only have casual sex. I don't fuck my husband. I don't cheat either. We had an adult conversation 8 years ago. I was terrified and stuttering, but I said what needed to be say, and I was respectful, and gentle, but firm amd clear. I spoke without accusations, and explained how near-celibacy was negatively impacting my self esteem, my focus, and my health. I made suggestions about what positive impact my proposal for open marriage could have on him, and presented him with research and resources he could digest on his own. We kept talking and learning and negotiating for weeks. And that's that. Sack up and do the same. There is no excuse.

 

[918177]

I can give her to name and number of a very good divorce lawyer.

I hope you end up living in your car.

 

[1850231]

Thats what I've been saying all along she won't have an adult conversation about things period duh and not looking for someone to say go ahead and cheat I've could have cheated on her 20 different times and never have but at my wits end to why we can't have sex or at least do something except sit on a couch and stare at her table all day.....we don't even hardly have conversations any more just like having a room mate with out the love anymore ...

It might be a good starting point to acknowledge your role in how your sexless marriage got to the state it is in, now. You’re as much responsible for ‘sitting on a couch/staring at her table all day’ as she is. Forget trying to bring a third party in, now, if you’re complaining that your wife hasn’t kissed or hugged you in 10 years. That you would even present this as a thing suggests that you have almost no emotional connection to your wife at all. And sure, you worked your ass off your whole life, but she ran your home and raised your kids over 30 years - that’s not easy, either. Forget the threesome. That’s never going to happen.

If you love your wife, find ways to reconnect with her, emotionally - change your daily routines, get out of the fucking house and do nice things together. Talk to her. Find ways to touch her, in passing. Take action in small steps. If there’s love there, the intimacy will come back. If not, then you have the choice to end the marriage. But, if you’re cheating, then there’s a good chance your wife is aware of it and that may be why she hasn’t touched you in over a decade. You can’t live a house with someone for 30 years and not know. But yeah, difficult situation.

Look up Esther Perel - she’s does great work on intimacy in long term relationships. There are lots of videos on youtube, where she discusses the various issues in great detail. Really worth your time.

Start here:

 

[Spartan727]

My husband's orientation is not the one he told me when I chose him. He has no choice but to seek sexual satisfaction elsewhere. As far as I am concerned, our marriage no longer has a sexual component and never will again. He is free to do with that what he will. I figure I can do a lot worse than spending every day with my very best friend. But I'm not fucking him anymore. That's done. I agree with Ellie that his pretending at one orientation, and making me suffer through the consequences of that, constitutes a breach of our marriage promises. He can do whatever he wants with his penis. Lord knows I see to the care of my needs my own way. If he doesn't like my terms, he knows he can finish paying for my house, which I told him he owes me for uprooting me under false pretenses, and go wherever he wants. I didn't want a mixed orientation marriage, and I wanted monogamy. If I had my life to do over, I probably would have accepted a proposal from a friend I stopped sleeping with when I started dating my husband. Maybe not. But if I had known my husband wasn't heterosexual, and had all this confusion about just what his sexual identity is, I would not have married him in the first place.

I don't know your wife. I don't know you. I know me. I know my problem with his orientation is that we have never had a particularly good sexual connection. I expect when his mother dies he will come up with some drawn out confession that he needs to go out and live his truth. After everything we have been through together, I'll probably be forced to harm him if that comes to pass. I gave up a lot tying my life to his. I don't care who he wants to fuck of he comes home every day. If after all I have endured because I love him, knowing everything he knows about me and my emotional needs, if he wants to abandon our marriage altogether, he's probably going to suffer.

I don't know your wife. I only know me.

I am not the one that stopped the sex she did so everyone get off there high horse about it we were playing around when she pegged me we both wanted to try it at the time then she decided to stop it cause didn't turn her on so were just not sexual compatible anymore and I don't extort my wife I was thinking about her welfare if she decided to leave me I AM JUST NOT GONNA PUT UP WITH THE NO SEX IN OUR LIFE ANYMORE ONE WAY OR ANOTHER She might not want to have sex but I do ..so she has made her choice time for me to make my choice ....Not even a kiss or hug out of her for 10 years now

I don’t think anyone is on a high horse here. I See several females sharing some very personal positions w you, giving a female point of view to a question asked by you. No one is attacking you, they are giving you honest input.
It sounds like you both have lost touch w communication. No relationship is perfect, You both have needs, if the situation was really as cut and dry as you say you wouldn’t be here.
You both need to communicate more about your feelings, needs. Be kind, compassionate remember it’s not all about your needs. She has needs too.
Is a lack of intimacy a reason to throw your marriage away? Ultimatums very rarely bring good outcomes.
“She made her choice time for you to make yours”
Is a bit harsh.
I have the utmost respect for anyone that honors their vows through thick and thin.
Marriage isn’t easy, it takes a lot of work.
You have needs that aren’t getting met, does she have needs?
My advice would be spend some time yourself to weigh the pro’s - con’s (Positive and negatives) out - Then sit down and have a heart to heart.
I don’t think having someone else tell your wife is a good idea. That’s just me.
If you walk into the situation with that attitude you made your decision now I’m making mine it isn’t
Going to go well. If you want understanding then give her understanding.