Fantasy Sex Like Threesome

[man_exhibit_4plsure]

Hi

during sex, my wife fantasies about sex with another personne and myself strocking next. I like it a lot and I told her I wish we could try. She is hesitating about it, which I understand

any idea how to help her to overcome and try it ?
Thank you

 

[deleted924715]

Help overcoming what?

Either she'll decide she wants to or she'll decide she doesn't.

If you want ideas for persuading her then, no.

 

[MickeyLee]

Fantasies are not always meant to be acted out.

She might like the idea of adding a new partner as a bit of sexual daring, so the fantasy is hot. The realities of opening a relationship, even for a one off, seem over her own personal line in the sand/sheets.

Enjoy sharing her fantasies and her willingness to share with you. Don't push her at the risk of damaging the trust and intimacy.

 

[TinyPrincess]

It's just a fantasy - let it stay as such.

 

[LaFemme]

Fantasy is different than reality. Making a fantasy reality is not what everyone wants. And I don’t believe you should try to convince a partner to try something. Maybe you think it would be cool to make the fantasy a reality, but for her it would irrevocably change your relationship. Who knows? But coercing her, or trying to convince another person to do what you want is selfish and destructive. If she wants something, she’ll tell you. She’s obviously comfortable enough with you to talk about her fantasies - she’ll let you know what she wants in reality.

 

[Mittimer]

Help overcoming what?

Either she'll decide she wants to or she'll decide she doesn't.

If you want ideas for persuading her then, no.

It's just a fantasy - let it stay as such.

Fantasies are not always meant to be acted out.

She might like the idea of adding a new partner as a bit of sexual daring, so the fantasy is hot. The realities of opening a relationship, even for a one off, seem over her own personal line in the sand/sheets.

Enjoy sharing her fantasies and her willingness to share with you. Don't push her at the risk of damaging the trust and intimacy.

Fantasy is different than reality. Making a fantasy reality is not what everyone wants. And I don’t believe you should try to convince a partner to try something. Maybe you think it would be cool to make the fantasy a reality, but for her it would irrevocably change your relationship. Who knows? But coercing her, or trying to convince another person to do what you want is selfish and destructive. If she wants something, she’ll tell you. She’s obviously comfortable enough with you to talk about her fantasies - she’ll let you know what she wants in reality.

Just like every other poster has said, it's just a fantasy. You aren't looking for ways to "help her overcome" anything, you're looking for ways to manipulate and coerce her into fulfilling a simple fantasy. If she truly wanted this and was comfortable in it beyond a fun fantasy, she'd make that clear. If she's uncomfortable with the idea of doing it (you say hesitation) then she is uncomfortable. Don't try to coerce her into it.

Fantasies are not always meant to be fulfilled. Sure, some are. However, adding another person into your relationship be it for one night or long term shouldn't just be fantasy fodder you do on a whim to spice things up. It's something that can change how you two are together, can change your relationship, can even ruin things and cause doubt.

I say this as someone who is in a very successful and happy nonmonogamous marriage. It works for us very very well. I would not in any way suggest others do it on a whim though.

Coercing someone into adding another person is distructive at best.

Let your partner talk to you about this on her own. Let her decide if and when she wants to fulfill this fantasy. That could be next week or it could be never, but that is up to her to decide and ultimately up to you both to work out together once she has.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

In 1973, a woman wrote about the role of fantasy in a woman’s sex life.
In 2020, we see proof no man has ever read it to learn about the role of fantasy in her sex life.

Basically, fantasy is to either get in the mood, or to “get to the finish line.” when that fantasy is spoken, it’s to fuel the fire for one or both.

While some fantasy is innocuous enough to be acted upon, some fantasy is obviously meant to stay in the realm of fiction. Fantasy Is free flow, not a script for next week (or whatever.)

Think about how hot her comments make you. They get both of you at a fever pitch, no?
The fantasies are doing their job.

 

[man_exhibit_4plsure]

Thank you all for your comments and support, very clear and helpful.
By the way I did not mean how to convince her. I’m never pushing her in any sense. I meant to say how to discuss it and talk about it.
But I think the last post is an eye opener that it is indeed for flaming the relationship more than reality and it does work. True that next step is just maybe not to be in the picture

 

[Scarletbegonia]

There is no next step.

 

[Holly Doors]

you'd soon know if it was anything more than just a fantasy sweetie xx

 

[EllieP]

I always caution couples about taking that next step outside of the box. It's like a preacher hiring a pool boy. You just never know where it may lead.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I always caution couples about taking that next step outside of the box. It's like a preacher hiring a pool boy. You just never know where it may lead.

Bwahahahahaaaaahhahhaaaaaa!

 

[ShayMonroe]

Shes hesitant because shes not sure you're open to it as she is, if it turns you on then it wouldn't hurt to try it out at least and see how you both feel about it, instead of keeping it in your minds and being regretful later

 

[MickeyLee]

I always caution couples about taking that next step outside of the box. It's like a preacher hiring a pool boy. You just never know where it may lead.

Straight up snorked sparkling water out of my face.