Feel guilty about getting with married men?

[thick_cock_306]

I don't really have any interest in relationships. I like having my freedom. So instead I prefer just FWB and sometimes a random hookup or two.
I have had (and still do have) FWBs that are married men. Usually they just want a good and quick blowjob but others are more into actual sex (getting naked and playing around in bed, including anal).
Lately I've feeling more and more guilty about the married guys in my life. I hate the idea of causing a family to break up. I understand that it could be I'm providing something he can't or just plain isn't getting at home, but I still make the choice to be with someone married.

Anyone else feel this way?

 

[ripsrips]

Always remember men are just about sex and can move on from the act as soon as it's done..women want and crave affection, intimacy and are all about feelings and commitment.
In other words:
Men want sex and that's it
Women want the house after sex.

 

[693987]

No, not all men just care about sex, just like not all women want a house and 2.whatever to have a family.

That would be like me saying all men cheat because "male imperative", refuse to ask for directions, hate shopping, and a bunch of other equally stupid sweeping generalizations.

Nothing wrong with not wanting a formalized, share your life with a person (or people) relationship. There are a fair few folks who feel the same. My policy when I have had multiple FWBs was that we all be single. I would tell them to have good sex with the other people they were fucking. I enjoyed having my own space. I didn't get jealous or sad or anything when they sometimes fell into a relationship with someon and ended casual things with me.

Other than some fucked up "allure" that some people feel for doing what they shouldn't do, there's zero reason to help people be unfaithful when they agreed to monogamy. Plenty of people out there want casual. Yes, they probably will find other people to be unfaithful with, but why involve yourself in that? Be the person who isn't that asshole.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Always remember men are just about sex and can move on from the act as soon as it's done..women want and crave affection, intimacy and are all about feelings and commitment.
In other words:
Men want sex and that's it
Women want the house after sex.

Then why do men keep begging me to have a baby?

 

[malakos]

I've always had an acute awareness of the ethically deficient status of participating in adultery, and have never felt the need to carnally entertain an unfaithful spouse, so no, I've never had to feel that guilt.

I recommend you take to heart what your gut is communicating to you and reconsider your actions.

 

[mazdaspeedy]

I have felt guilty before, but I was never the one who actively pursued anything, and never pushed anyone into doing something they didn't want to. For some it may be just sex, something that they cannot get at home. Others may be exploring their sexuality in general. Either way I don't think it's your responsibility to stop doing it, unless you're feeling really uncomfortable, and obviously that they are still interested.

 

[Auggiecakes]

I don't really have any interest in relationships. I like having my freedom. So instead I prefer just FWB and sometimes a random hookup or two.
I have had (and still do have) FWBs that are married men. Usually they just want a good and quick blowjob but others are more into actual sex (getting naked and playing around in bed, including anal).
Lately I've feeling more and more guilty about the married guys in my life. I hate the idea of causing a family to break up. I understand that it could be I'm providing something he can't or just plain isn't getting at home, but I still make the choice to be with someone married.

Anyone else feel this way?

I stopped my fun with married men. They have too much baggage and I always felt cruel.

 

[chancesare]

Back in the day, I vetted guys to make sure they weren't in closed relationships with women. I turned down some smokin' hot dudes, but the fewer regrets in life, the better.

 

[vxie]

Nope, I'm not the one who is married or the one who is potentially cheating, nor do I know the details of their relationship with their partner.

If a married guy is cheating on his partner, and doesn't have permission, that's his responsibility and is accountable for it; no one else.

 

[693987]

Nope, I'm not the one who is married or the one who is potentially cheating, nor do I know the details of their relationship with their partner.

If a married guy is cheating on his partner, and doesn't have permission, that's his responsibility and is accountable for it; no one else.

If you know they're in a relationship, you're responsible too.

 

[vxie]

If you know they're in a relationship, you're responsible too.

I disagree, unless I know them well enough to have an insight into their relationship, and even then I'd suggest there are probably other things going, at best you might be 5% responsible.

Its the same rubbish as blaming the 'other woman' for breaking up a relationship and calling her a home wrecker. It's almost always the responsibility of the person/s in the relationship. To me the only exception would be if you deliberately go and seduce someone you know is in a relationship and pursue and manipulate a situation for sex when you know they're married and they weren't originally interested

 

[beachbro]

I've been with a married man before. His wife knew but did not approve they had trouble with it from what he said. He promised not to do it anymore, but kept on doing.
He was pretty hot and handsome. Sex felt great. But i didn't feel good with myself. He kept on messaging but I had to block. I do not like cheating of any kind. Been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and never once I even flirted or exchanged looks with anyone.
I would not like to be "the other person" as much as I wouldn't like to be cheated on. For me to truly enjoy sex there has to be an emotional connection of some sort, even if slightly, even if it's NSA.

 

[693987]

I disagree, unless I know them well enough to have an insight into their relationship, and even then I'd suggest there are probably other things going, at best you might be 5% responsible.

Its the same rubbish as blaming the 'other woman' for breaking up a relationship and calling her a home wrecker. It's almost always the responsibility of the person/s in the relationship. To me the only exception would be if you deliberately go and seduce someone you know is in a relationship and pursue and manipulate a situation for sex when you know they're married and they weren't originally interested

You're intentionally choosing to become involved in their life. That would be like the difference between accidentally stepping on someone's foot as you walk by them, and intentionally stomping on someone's foot. The first, not great, but at least understandable. Shit happens. The second one, you're just a piece of shit.

I've personally dealt with the bullshit of unintentionally being the other person. I was the one who got blamed, even though I tried to do the better thing and tell the person who was being cheated on. Knowingly fucking someone in a relationship that is supposed to be monogamous makes you just as bad as the person who is cheating that is supposed to be monogamous.

Those who choose to not be monogamous and it's all consented to or those who just flat out choose to not have a formal relationship? Fuck yeah, go wild. That's a completely separate thing (basically, I'm not trying to argue that monogamy is the best or only choice). Those who do choose it and then break it are garbage. Those who know they're monogamous and involve themselves in it anyway are garbage too.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I disagree, unless I know them well enough to have an insight into their relationship, and even then I'd suggest there are probably other things going, at best you might be 5% responsible.

Its the same rubbish as blaming the 'other woman' for breaking up a relationship and calling her a home wrecker. It's almost always the responsibility of the person/s in the relationship. To me the only exception would be if you deliberately go and seduce someone you know is in a relationship and pursue and manipulate a situation for sex when you know they're married and they weren't originally interested

Quit trying to rationalize shit behavior.

That's all the fuck you're doing. It's bullshit. And it fucking stinks.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

If I found out I was being lied to by the man I love, and that the person he was fucking KNEW he was with me, I would beat the actual shit out of them. Man or woman.

If they were unaware of my relationship, I would hold no hostility towards them. If they knew? They would absolutely regret fucking someone who was in a relationship, and they would GODDAMN well feel responsible for the ass-beating they'd receive for doing it.

 

[MisterB]

Let me acknowledge the OP's post re: guilt. Good for you. So what are you going to do about it besides type it out on a big-dick website?

But your thread got me thinking: WHY do folks knowingly pursue/get with committed folks? If you know the person you are having any type of sexual contact with is in a relationship, please explain the attraction. Cuz I just don't get it. At all. It's not like there aren't skazillions of single, unencumbered men and women out their for folks to fuck.

Do you get off on the fact that it's like forbidden fruit? Does being in a relationship make that person more attractive to you? Would you still want to mess around if that person was single? Help me out here; I'm clueless about this.

I see a lot of parallels with this line of thinking and that of some of my gay brethren who get off on chasing the proverbial straight man. That's another head scratcher. What if they found out the guy wasn't really straight? Would the attraction disappear? Just. Don't. Understand.

Now, the person in the relationship? That person is simply a cheater. Period. Regardless of the circumstances of what's going on in said relationship. I hold these folks in even higher contempt. Cuz if you've ever been the one cheated on, you might just change your tune.

I was cheated on. Twice. It makes you question yourself. It messes with your psyche. It hurts. And it makes you suspicious of future relationships. That's been my experience. That's why I don't fool with cheaters. At all. It's one of my relationship dealbreakers. Period.

 

[stustu]

I can see all sides to this issue. But you said you were not interested in a relationship/you like your
freedom. So you are not trying to breakup anyone's marriage or relationship. You might actually
be save a marriage or two by providing sex that is not received at home. As long as you're honest
with the men and yourself (not interested in a relationship) why not help a guy out. (jmo).

 

[jujube]

Another possible complication is that the third person may initially have been unaware that the other person was already in an ostensibly monogamous relationship at the time the affair began, and the third person may have developed an emotional attachment to the cheater while believing him/her to be single. The third person may then be faced with a very difficult dilemma when s/he has discovered that the cheater already has a partner.

 

[thick_cock_306]

If you know they're in a relationship, you're responsible too.

I don't think it makes you responsible since you're not the one that made the commitment to that other person. But I do feel a little guilt because I am helping that person potentially hurt someone and maybe even ruin a family.

 

[693987]

I don't think it makes you responsible since you're not the one that made the commitment to that other person. But I do feel a little guilt because I am helping that person potentially hurt someone and maybe even ruin a family.

You are specifically choosing to be involved with that person (or those specific people), when doing so would likely hurt other people and/or ruin a family. You're making a choice to do something that is fucked up, just as much as the person who is cheating is.