"just as much as the person who is cheating" that's where I disagree with you. It's the other person that's cheating, I mean you just said it yourself. It's not like the guy's wife is going to accuse me of cheating on her. Sure she can call me a scumbag for getting with a married man (and she'd be right IMO) but it's not on the same level as the husband himself.
Feel guilty about getting with married men?
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I've accidentally been the "other person" and I've also been the person who was cheated on. I blamed the other person who my ex was fucking equally, because the person my ex fucked knew both of us and knew we were in a relationship. So, moral viewpoints varying between people aside, and speaking from personal experience? Yeah, you're just as bad as the people who are supposed to be monogamous that you're fucking.
I was repeatedly betrayed by my ex-wife. I then repeatedly cheated, with both single and married women. As a single man I was the home wrecker in an affair with a married woman. I think I can speak to this issue with some experience.
I get your position but disagree completely. I was just as complicit as the married women. What WE did was wrong. No excuses. No gradients. No "less guilty". If you think my actions as the other half of an affair were any less wrong, go ask the husbands how they feel about it.
So the promises and commitments a married couple make at the altar, the legal document that they sign is no different than what a complete stranger owes them? I've never met any wife of any man I've been with, I certainly never made any promise to them. Their husband made those promises. Yes I feel bad for being a part of the cheating and lies but it's absolutely not on the same level as what the husband did.
To me, there is no debate on who is more to blame or I’d one is more responsible. The only question for me is whether my actions are in sync with my core values and whether when I look in the mirror, I like what I see. For me, if I was involved with someone who is married or in a committed relationship, the answer to both of those questions would be a resounding NO.
The extramarital sex is just a symptom. The breaking of the relationship happened long before. So be assured your participation has not changed anything for the couple.
The only questions are whether or not you want to have sex with someone you know to be a cheater or be involved in possible drama down the road.
The only questions are whether or not you want to have sex with someone you know to be a cheater or be involved in possible drama down the road.
Yes I most recently put the brakes on meeting with a guy once I found he was married. Even though it may have only been a time or two I did not want to be part of it.
It’s one thing meeting on a random hook up but I felt completely different once I knew I would be hurting others.
I’d never knowingly get involved with someone who willingly slept with committed people. It makes you just as untrustworthy as the cheater, in my opinion. Keep your dick or pussy out of my relationship. Period.
It’s none of your business whether he is or is not “getting what he needs at home”. That’s between us. You are not “saving our relationship” by getting involved, instead you are crushing the soul of someone you never even met. It makes you an asshole, a lowlife, a total piece of shit.
Yeah. So look yourself in the mirror. Your guilt is telling you something.
It’s none of your business whether he is or is not “getting what he needs at home”. That’s between us. You are not “saving our relationship” by getting involved, instead you are crushing the soul of someone you never even met. It makes you an asshole, a lowlife, a total piece of shit.
Yeah. So look yourself in the mirror. Your guilt is telling you something.
Evolution allowed us to feel guilt for a reason. If you are feeling guilt, then you are doing something that you know you shouldn't be doing. That will be a heavy weight to carry.
Even if you don't understand it, when your brain is telling you that its bad then its almost certainly bad.
Even if you don't understand it, when your brain is telling you that its bad then its almost certainly bad.
I never feel guilty about hooking up. I did blow up a marriage once and that was totally UN-COOL. Had to balance some MAJOR Karma after that shit show.
I fooled around with a guy once I learned was married after we had sex. He had a wife and young daughter at home. I felt VERY guilty and wouldn't sleep with him again. I am friends with a guy who is married to a woman but he will have sex with men. She knows this and just tells him to be safe. It's an odd arrangement and I'm not sure why he doesn't just move out and be gay but that's his business.
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I would advise you to do your cheating in CA, where the laws are incredibly lax. In certain states, the wronged person cannot only get a divorce, from his/ her partner; but they can sue the person their former partner cheated with. So just be selective where you are a scumbag; and all will be well
As a side note, in some states it is still considered a felony crime
That's fair. I know there's a risk when getting involved with married men. You never know if their partner will find out and if they do....how they will react. I sometimes wondered if a women with a gun will knock on my door one day.
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I look at it this way....you would not have this supposed guilt on yourself and those thoughts about sleeping with married men if you just didn't sleep with married men but since you still do sleep with married men you are asking others to dulute your guilty feelings. Women unknowingly marry a bisexual man who decides to act out after he puts a ring on her finger and now with gay marriage being legal it could be the ring on his finger, so then you would have a bisexual man married to a woman sleeping with a gay man married to another man lol now i think of it .
I'm not looking 'dilute' (at least I assume that's what you meant to write) my own guilt here. I really just wanted to see what others do and how they feel about it. Other people's opinions have no impact on my own feelings, just the same way I would never feel wrong for being with men even if people here said I should.
These married men may not have been bisexual when they got married. The ones I know have very little sex at home and I think that made their mind wander into other possibilities. They started to see men as way to get some satisfaction that they weren't getting at home.
I also want to say that in some cases I feel no sympathy at all for the women who essentially refuse to ever have sex with their man again (but still expect him to remain faithful) which means he now has a sexless life and not at all by his own choice. She chose to put him into an unhappy/sexless marriage.
You should just cut it the fuck out then. What the fuck?
And YES. You are just as much of a piece of shit as the person in the relationship who's cheating on their partner.
I'm bisexual.
I don't cheat.
Excuses smell like actual shit.
I don't cheat.
Excuses smell like actual shit.
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