Flamboyant gays

Dustin Berry

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I understand some guys (gay and straight) are just naturally feminine, but I feel like others in the community are over the top. Did you know that most people who cone out of anestheisia carry their core accent while under the high? Not gays. It's a consious accent, meaning you're mentally being flamboyant.Why are you able to point out someone is gay from across the street? Having a different sexuality doesn't mean you have to make a clique as far from normal people in society as possible. I wish more of you would be you insteas of letting your sexuality define hiw youexpress yourself. Why cant u just show gay people are normal guys, just like everyone else, without all the drag and lisps. Feminine gays are the ones spreading the painful steryotypes that all gays are fairys and what to be girls, which isnt the case. I'm a masculine, normal, gay guy, and I wish more of this community was the same.
 
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hello, dustin...
I agree with the fact that being gay shouldn't be a pretext to redefine your personality.. because people can't be reduced to their sexuality...
so... I think you must be right on this point...
only... I don't think that the "painful stereotypes" about us are due to feminine guys... because...
as you said... feminity is necessarily not associated with homosexuality... and some straight guys can be feminine...
this is why I think that even a non feminine homosexual is still susceptible to be judged negatively... as what is considered like disturbing in masculine homosexuality is beyond the feminine aspect of some gay men...
 
hello, dustin...
I agree with the fact that being gay shouldn't be a pretext to redefine your personality.. because people can't be reduced to their sexuality...
so... I think you must be right on this point...
only... I don't think that the "painful stereotypes" about us are due to feminine guys... because...
as you said... feminity is necessarily not associated with homosexuality... and some straight guys can be feminine...
this is why I think that even a non feminine homosexual is still susceptible to be judged negatively... as what is considered like disturbing in masculine homosexuality is beyond the feminine aspect of some gay men...
But homosexuality is very much associated with femininity, when straight people think lf gay men they think of blue haired twinks in underwear on a parad
 
"Feminine" guys are normal. There is so absolutely nothing wrong with being "feminine" that it's not even wrong to voluntarily have this characteristic.
I neverr said it was wrong. I'm saying gay people are too lften falling into that steryotype, and it's giving off this "I want everyone to know I'm gay. HEY! IM GSY EVERYBODY!!!" vibe. There's too much of it, its okay for there to be some, there's some.in every community, but we're only making matters worse by falling right into steryitypes.
 
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But homosexuality is very much associated with femininity, when straight people think lf gay men they think of blue haired twinks in underwear on a parad
Homophobia existed before parades with twinks in underwear, it was actually even stronger back then. If a straight person is homophobic, this is on that straight person's responsability. We are in no obligation of teaching them not to be homophobic.
I don't believe that showing "masculine" gay guys undoes their stereotypes - straight people stereotype us even before having first contact with a gay person, the cause for those stereotypes is not experience and cannot be undone by experience.
 
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I neverr said it was wrong. I'm saying gay people are too lften falling into that steryotype, and it's giving off this "I want everyone to know I'm gay. HEY! IM GSY EVERYBODY!!!" vibe. There's too much of it, its okay for there to be some, there's some.in every community, but we're only making matters worse by falling right into steryitypes.
It is possible to be very openly gay and making a big deal on that without being voluntarily "feminine". Which one are mad about?
 
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Thanks to the raging queens and obvious fems. They started the gay rights movement and stood like a rock and took the scorn and the beatings and lost their jobs and their families over and over. Why? Because they had nothing left to loose. People knew they were faggots and they could not hide it. The pass for straight queers hid in their closets, publicly told fag jokes and heaped scorn on them to avid detection. Don't make waves was their mantra, just don't draw attention to yourself. They will leave us alone if he don't draw attention to ourselves. Settle for half a life, hide keep quiet.

No, that doesn't work. I don't need to approve of how anyone lives their life and I don't need their approval of how I live mine. That's what gay rights has always been about - the right to be free to live the life you want to live. Toning it down and being the quiet queer so not to scare the Republicans is no way to live - because at the end of the day they will run over you and leave you and not think a thing about it.

At the height of the AIDS epidemic the President of the US would not say the word AIDS even as a close personal friend was dying of it. What would the right people think? We only got research because angry ad very unseemly queers created ACT UP and sparked loud disruptive demonstrations. NIH wasn't funded out of compassion - it funded to shut us the hell up - so we would go away. Even when the Ryan White Pediatric AIDS Act was passed the Congress - damn near the whole Congress refused to fund it. Nothing that would appear to help the queers.

The heros of the era where the loud screaming queens - the ones no one liked because the created attention and made people aware that gays were different.

Undoubtedly there are people who affect an accent - so what? I know gay men who are overly swishy and fem. So what? Gay equity is about ALL gay people - not just the ones who can pass for straight.
 
Without taking anything away from the flamboyant side of the house, I would also like to submit that heroes also included the thousands of everyday people in all walks of life who used their credibility and resources in the community to help take care of aids victims, raise awareness and money, and to kick political butt in every way it could motivate.
 
Thanks to the raging queens and obvious fems. They started the gay rights movement and stood like a rock and took the scorn and the beatings and lost their jobs and their families over and over. Why? Because they had nothing left to loose. People knew they were faggots and they could not hide it. The pass for straight queers hid in their closets, publicly told fag jokes and heaped scorn on them to avid detection. Don't make waves was their mantra, just don't draw attention to yourself. They will leave us alone if he don't draw attention to ourselves. Settle for half a life, hide keep quiet.

No, that doesn't work. I don't need to approve of how anyone lives their life and I don't need their approval of how I live mine. That's what gay rights has always been about - the right to be free to live the life you want to live. Toning it down and being the quiet queer so not to scare the Republicans is no way to live - because at the end of the day they will run over you and leave you and not think a thing about it.

At the height of the AIDS epidemic the President of the US would not say the word AIDS even as a close personal friend was dying of it. What would the right people think? We only got research because angry ad very unseemly queers created ACT UP and sparked loud disruptive demonstrations. NIH wasn't funded out of compassion - it funded to shut us the hell up - so we would go away. Even when the Ryan White Pediatric AIDS Act was passed the Congress - damn near the whole Congress refused to fund it. Nothing that would appear to help the queers.

The heros of the era where the loud screaming queens - the ones no one liked because the created attention and made people aware that gays were different.

Undoubtedly there are people who affect an accent - so what? I know gay men who are overly swishy and fem. So what? Gay equity is about ALL gay people - not just the ones who can pass for straight.
Thank You!
 
Well, being a out-of-the-closet gay "feminine" guy does not garantees that someone will fight for gay rights. Many made this mistake with Quentin Crisp and many still confound Milo Yannopoulos for a gay activist because of this. This idealized concept of "feminine" gays as natural activists will only divert you from understanding your own contempt for them.
Why do you think they effect you? Do you believe they change how straight people see you? How do you think straight people see you? Do you have any difficult at all at fitting in the straight world (not only at being "straight acting", but in general), and if you do, why do you think so?
 
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Hmm.

I very strongly believe in human freedom.

People can be / act how they want. But I do agree that in some people it seems to be more about what they think is "expected" rather than who they are. It's good to have an identity, but make sure it's your own identity, not just something that happened to be clear/ extreme enough to get noticed.

I am occasionally a little dry / pointed in my humour. Occasionally a little "softly spoken". But not everyone can see I am gay. And that's OK too.

I've ridden motorcycles, liked rock/indie music, done weights at the gym, walked my dogs, drunk beer, enjoyed barbecues, attended football matches ... But I also like reading, making cakes, cats.

Diversity should be INSIDE each and every one of us, not just in the spaces in between.

:)
 
Hmm.

I very strongly believe in human freedom.

People can be / act how they want. But I do agree that in some people it seems to be more about what they think is "expected" rather than who they are. It's good to have an identity, but make sure it's your own identity, not just something that happened to be clear/ extreme enough to get noticed.

I am occasionally a little dry / pointed in my humour. Occasionally a little "softly spoken". But not everyone can see I am gay. And that's OK too.

I've ridden motorcycles, liked rock/indie music, done weights at the gym, walked my dogs, drunk beer, enjoyed barbecues, attended football matches ... But I also like reading, making cakes, cats.

Diversity should be INSIDE each and every one of us, not just in the spaces in between.

:)
I'd buy you a drink!
 
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As a bisexual guy, I think it might help if you actually got to know some of the more flamboyant men you see around you. Most people present some "mask" in their public life. We all do that to some degree. After you get to know the person and not the persona, you may find some one you can relate to at a more satisfying level.
 
Just goes to show how much homophobia affects gay people, and how much some of us internalize that homophobia.

Listen to your own rhetoric -- "normal" in your posting is being presented as oppositional to "straight" and "masculine." To you, those constitute "normal". Check yourself, gurl.

It's all an act.

Your "masculinity" is an act. Femininity is an act. It's all a performance you're putting on for someone else. Maybe not consciously, but there it is. Who decided that trucks and baseball was masculine and being loud and sassy was "over the top gay"? It's arbitrary. I could go into the full social historical context on why the performance of gay identity became what it is, and why it still happens. But you're not here to understand anything; you just want to come in here and be shitty to femmes, to punch down on people you think below you instead of punching up where your attention belongs.

You apparently think yourself better than femme gays, but you know what? You're not. Get over yourself, and get over the fact that there are "femme" guys and "masc" guys. It's all a bunch of bullshit at the end of the day. You wanna be all "masc4masc" and pass as a straight dude because (you think) that makes you safer? Bitch, that's your right.

But you should be thankful for the over-the-top queens who put themselves in the line of fire and used their visibility to secure your right to have your safe little under-the-radar life.
 
"I understand some guys (gay and straight) are just naturally feminine."
stop there you have already stated that you understand that some people are a certain way, really we could just end the argument here and recommend that you should worry about yourself and not how others live their lives but for the sake of an argument I'll access this as best as I can.

but I feel like others in the community are over the top. Did you know that most people who cone out of anestheisia carry their core accent while under the high? Not gays. It's a consious accent, meaning you're mentally being flamboyant.Why are you able to point out someone is gay from across the street? Having a different sexuality doesn't mean you have to make a clique as far from normal people in society as possible. I wish more of you would be you insteas of letting your sexuality define hiw youexpress yourself. Why cant u just show gay people are normal guys, just like everyone else, without all the drag and lisps.
you need to understand that there is no such thing as normal in this world. Normal is something that applies to an individual, for you being masc is normal, for others being fast talking and finger snapping is normal, normal is fluid. Plus, you sir would already be an abnormality as a gay man, since the "norm" is heterosexuality. you also have to understand that if we didn't have "Queens" there would be no lgbtq movement, because those who are too different need a place to belong those who weren't able to conform to society like yourself created a space, that is still working to create equality in this country.

Feminine gays are the ones spreading the painful steryotypes that all gays are fairys and what to be girls, which isnt the case. I'm a masculine, normal, gay guy, and I wish more of this community was the same.
WRONG! you my good sir need to understand that 1! flamboyant men don't want to be women! 2! that there are many different types of women; there are lesbians, straight women, Asian women, white women, black women, but most importantly MASCULINE AND FEMININE WOMEN! stop putting women into a small pink box, they won't fit.
Stop trying to Confrom, BE YOURSELF, AND LET OTHERS BE THEMSELVES.
 
But you should be thankful for the over-the-top queens who put themselves in the line of fire and used their visibility to secure your right to have your safe little under-the-radar life.
... yes... but now... umdoistressilvaquatro has brought some doubts in my mind when he explained that even feminine gay are not necessarily at the leading edge of gay activism...
and he wrote too that it is possible to be out of the closet without showing any feminine attitude... and I like this idea...