For A “girl”

[Scarletbegonia]

I stumbled on this link, and thought of @Snarky_succubus immediately.

What’s the Best Way to Compliment a Fit Girl? [Or: What NOT to say to a fit girl!]

Compliments are a minefield, they can come across as objectifying, demeaning/negging (for a girl, little bitch boy, please, we are women. Call us girl, and we think of you as boys), note the cute and kind comment followed by a deflator, or thirsty.

Compliments when men are surprised to see women in “their” manly spaces are even more problematic.
It’s usually up to the recipient to “excuse” a double pronged statement.
But, the gym, the basketball court, the trail, even the ice, is not exclusively male domain.

What weird compliments (well intended or not) have flown your way just because men thought of something (place, activity) as “theirs?”

I’ve been lucky, and on trail, people are usually cool. I’ve had comments on my speed/endurance (it was the latter. They took more breaks, so I made more miles in the same timeframe).
Working in concert production, problem solving was often praised.

 

[Mittimer]

Tall for a girl...cuz statistically it's a factual statement.

Me too. I'm 5'9" in flats. This is (according to maaaany men I've come across) very tall for a girl. I'm not petite, so the fuck what. In boots and heels, I'm 6'1" and taller than my husband. He doesn't give a shit lol. I am fine towering other fragile masculinity, and the male egos who can't handle a woman who has height to them. We aren't all pocket sized. Gotta get over that nonsense.

 

[EllieP]

I go to the gym very early most mornings. Usually I'm in by 5:30 and out before 7:00. There were two ex-Marines who are usually there the same time. I always called them my bodyguards. They were wonderful and always gave the right compliments.

On the rare occasion when a newbie came in that early I would be cordial but distant. I never want to intrude on anyone's workout.

But that wouldn't stop them from trying to influence mine. My bodyguards would sometimes watch, and a few times they intervened on my behalf. Usually there'd be a "Dude, don't." But Matt would always make a crashing airplane noise.

The job sites were a different story, though. Most of the regular crews knew me, and we would work together just fine. But sometimes there'd be a new hire who want want to get close to the chica. I would always let someone else set them straight unless they were pretty blatant about it. But I'd rarely raise a stink to keep the workflow in line. But again, sometimes a time out to take care of nasty business was necessary.

 

[MickeyLee]

Aren’t you tall for a human?

True. I am tall for a human *living a lil alien/monster/humanoid fantasy right now*

 

[BigHairyWolf]

This kind of thing happens in the workplace too. Women often don’t get credit for the work they do, or have their contributions and ideas dismissed. Often male colleagues will just subconsciously value the contributions of other male colleagues more, or will seek male validation of a woman’s work.

Also men will more readily support another man’s suggestions, and will give positive feedback more readily to other men.

So if a woman colleague does something worthy of recognition speak up about it. Don’t be weird about it. Just mention to her manager the value of her contribution. Say thanks. Make a conscious effort to give their contributions equal weight and avoid being dismissive.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

5' 9" here too, long arms, legs and torso. I have slender, creepy fingers. Big feet.

Living in NM I kinda tower over everyone too. Most grown men I know are actually about my exact height. Only one of my coworkers is taller than me. All but one of them are men. It's pretty rare that I run into a woman taller than me. And when I do, she's almost never from here. Just visiting/moved here from out of state.

My lady coworker is about 5' tall and doesn't weigh more than 100 lbs. I'm about 70 lbs heavier than her and 9 inches taller.

The guys trip out on how large I actually am. I don't "look that big/heavy" but ohhh I am indeed.

My fella is about an inch taller than me, and around 30 lbs heavier. We fit together quite nicely when we fuck. Not many positions that don't work out for us. So, I'm very happy with my size/density. We compliment each other well, physically and otherwise.

 

[ChanelleNo5]

This is a shop where I live so you see the stickers on cars and stuff and I always thought it was kinda cute.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

"You have huge calves for a girl".

"You hit hard for a girl"

"You're voice is deep for a girl"

I've always been kinda buff/butch and it's always been noticed/commented on.

When I wore makeup for the first time people literally thought I had just moved to town. I've lived here my whole life.

 

[LaFemme]

Just watching American Ninja Warrior - women’s championship. Pretty intense for any human being.

 

[MickeyLee]

5'11"

I have a pair of breakneck/ankle stilettos. First time The Boy stood next to me in the shoes he about faded. He had to look up to make eye contact *not head turned up, just raising his gaze an inch*. Not a position he often finds himself in. He's 6'5".

My ex was 5 feet tall. A most excellent smoll spoon. And forever torment by top shelves and a gangly girlfriend who often stored things up high out of habit.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I'm realizing how short I am reading this thread



If you don't mind my asking when you say you don't look big/heavy but are indeed what do you mean?

When people happen to find out (for whatever reason) that I'm 170 lbs they don't believe me.

I'm just fairly proportionate for my height and I'm fairly dense so I don't look as tall/thick as I am until I'm up next to you.

Then when I point out my large hands/feet they snap and realize.. holy shit, you are kinda big! My hands don't look that big until I tell dudes to put their palm up to mine (which won't happen anymore because of covid) and they see that my hands are usually as big length-wise, just not as thick.

Finding gloves is a fucking bitch.

 

[Holly Doors]

I think British culture and especially British innuendo is very different to that in the US, just the same as our sense of humour is often very different.
Mannerisms, greetings and compliments are also different. I can imagine that a fair few compliments and the way people address each other over here, may well offend some of my friends here who are used to your way of life over there in the US.
That said, there's always asshats who make inappropriate letchy comments or compliments wherever you are, the context can make all the difference, personally I'm a great believer in It's Not What You Say, But How You Say It. The tone in which something is portrayed also makes a difference, however that's a difficult one to put across in written words but I'm sure you know what I mean.

 

[Snarky_succubus]

I stumbled on this link, and thought of @Snarky_succubus immediately.

What’s the Best Way to Compliment a Fit Girl? [Or: What NOT to say to a fit girl!]

Compliments are a minefield, they can come across as objectifying, demeaning/negging (for a girl, little bitch boy, please, we are women. Call us girl, and we think of you as boys), note the cute and kind comment followed by a deflator, or thirsty.

Compliments when men are surprised to see women in “their” manly spaces are even more problematic.
It’s usually up to the recipient to “excuse” a double pronged statement.
But, the gym, the basketball court, the trail, even the ice, is not exclusively male domain.

What weird compliments (well intended or not) have flown your way just because men thought of something (place, activity) as “theirs?”

I’ve been lucky, and on trail, people are usually cool. I’ve had comments on my speed/endurance (it was the latter. They took more breaks, so I made more miles in the same timeframe).
Working in concert production, problem solving was often praised.

I can’t really recall specific weird ones other than people suggesting I could beat the shit out of them. That’s just odd to me because strength and ability to fight are wildly different lol but... I train to fight too, so *shrug* I’ve had plenty of people call me a beast. That’d probably rub plenty of women the wrong way... but I dig it lol I honestly believe that most people are fairly conscious of the negative impact that calling *most* women any version of “large” has... So, if they’re saying it... they’re either in the business of getting big and recognize/understand that you’ve put great effort into your muscle... or... they’re being assholes... even if they’re trying to mask it. I don’t really care either way. I own my bigness lol I’m not even slightly bothered by people calling me huge.

I did have one girl try to insult me by telling me that I look like a linebacker. That shit backfired on her in a major way lol She also said that she hoped I was as strong as I look... To which @socalfreak ”oh she is”. Again... big backfire. Feed my ego! Keep going lol

As far as “safe” things to say? I mean... there’s no “safe” really, right? Especially when it comes to bodies. If you’re concerned about it... compliment the strength, athleticism, or dedication itself instead of the body those things have produced. Those compliments make me smile 100% of the time.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I agree to a point. But are some of these compliments taken the wrong way?

I understand if it’s a backhanded compliment or condescension is intended. But if it’s merely a unintended slip or the like why are we getting so offended?

Have we lost some tolerance as adults?

Max

I don't think they're *taken* the wrong way, I think they're *given* the wrong way.

I don't flip out and correct someone when they tell me I'm x, y, or z "for a girl", other than informing them that I prefer not to be called a girl. As an adult I prefer to be addressed as a woman, or just something that doesn't imply that I'm a child.

I either just say "thank you", or "that's interesting" and move on. But maybe, having a discussion about it in an open forum where I can let people know how annoying it is without having to stress over how they may react in a public setting seems worth it.

If someone wants to give a compliment, personally I think it's much more impactful when they don't attach my gender to it. When I see a man with his face done and it's On Fucking Point, I don't say "you're good at doing makeup for a man". I just tell him how slayed his face looks, and that it looks stunning. See where I'm coming from?

I can be good at something without having to compare it to the way a man may do the same thing.

 

[MisterB]

i agree for a universal chess tournament.

But I think you answered this correctly with your opening line.
Thank you.

Biology is not ‘antiquated’.

That's not really the issue of this thread based on my reading. It's more of how we look at men vs. women. You know, stereotypes. That my friend is beyond "antiquated".

Times have changed. And it's time that mindsets about what women can and cannot do change.

Because those old stereotypes are just that: Old. Outdated.

No longer true as perhaps they once might have been. Pigeonholing based on trite stereotypes is so yesterday!

 

[deleted4500261]

Aren’t you tall for a human?

I’m tall for my height.

 

[MickeyLee]

Also.

My former employment in an adult entertainment emporium was a unique window on how mens interact with tall womangs in a sexual space. Lots of dudes got mad submissive, shy and avoidant. A small portion were so threatened they tried to go 50 Shades of Top. Resulting in cranky poopy pants attitude when my clear lack of fucks foiled the fantasy.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

5'11"

I have a pair of breakneck/ankle stilettos. First time The Boy stood next to me in the shoes he about faded. He had to look up to make eye contact *not head turned up, just raising his gaze an inch*. Not a position he often finds himself in. He's 6'5".

My ex was 5 feet tall. A most excellent smoll spoon. And forever torment by top shelves and a gangly girlfriend who often stored things up high out of habit.

Pshhhh we climb like cookie seeking toddlers, temple monkeys seeking coconut, cats desiring the top of the bookcase. Our footprints festoon counters.

 

[Mittimer]

5'11"

I have a pair of breakneck/ankle stilettos. First time The Boy stood next to me in the shoes he about faded. He had to look up to make eye contact *not head turned up, just raising his gaze an inch*. Not a position he often finds himself in. He's 6'5".

My ex was 5 feet tall. A most excellent smoll spoon. And forever torment by top shelves and a gangly girlfriend who often stored things up high out of habit.

I am 5'9", husband is 5'10". We look identical in height though.

I. Have. Fucking. T-Rex. Arms.

Our kitchen cabinets are tall and deep. Things at the edge of the top shelf, I can do, but I can't reach anything towards the back, he has to. I have a stool I use for taking pictures in the light box (set on top of the bourbon shelf) because my arms aren't long enough to comfortably take most photos.

Made for great ability to violate dress code (arms at side hem must reach finger tips) but are a nightmare for reaching shit on my top shelf -_-. The joys of being the offspring of a 5'1 and 6'0 pair.

 

[MickeyLee]

I am a giant. Big hands, artistic nature gave me long thin fingers. Huge feet, 10.5 mens, with crazy high arches.

I have rejected shoes except in situations of broken crockery or glass, as required by law/ store policy, and dramatic impact. Lots of hoof exfoliation and moisturizing going down at my house.