Gay Relationship and Monogamy

[erpap]

Are you happy in your monogamous relationship sexually? Other than the normal fantasies, what online activity do you engage in? Is your partner aware of it? Have you ever caught your partner online? Does it bother you? I have no problem with a partner looking at porn videos but online dating sites and chat I find a step over the line, unless agreed upon.

 

[Brodie888]

My partner and I have been together for almost 10 years now. We have been monogamous for that entire period.

I have mostly been in non-monogamous relationships. My partner has experimented with open relationships in the past but it created too much drama so he is only interested in monogamy.

We are very well matched physically, mentally and sexually. He has a girthy 9 inch cock so my chances of finding anyone more suited would be a needle in a haystack. So for that reason, being monogamous is a very small price to pay.

Things that I miss would be being gang banged or spit roasted. But as stated, a small price to pay for everything else I have.

My partner has an every second or third day sexdrive. Whereas I am an every day or second day kind of guy.

I fill in the extra days with a waterproof vibrator in the shower in the morning before work. I simply can't function at work otherwise. My partner knows and is fine because it never gets in the way of our sex life.

In regards to masturbating to online dating sites, I am of two minds about that. They are fantasizing about cheating over and over. So for some that's as far as it would go. But on the other hand, is it programming someone to only be aroused by cheating? And is it role playing a scenario that they will eventually act upon?

While not physically cheating on your partner, is it in actual fact emotionally cheating on your partner?

 

[mapleaf]

I have been with my hubby for over 17 years. We are monogamous. Neither of us has shown any interest in opening it up. As we age the frequency of sex has diminished but the intensity has not. There is no interest in looking at online sites as we are capable of satisfying each other.

 

[chpoof]

Are you happy in your monogamous relationship sexually? Other than the normal fantasies, what online activity do you engage in? Is your partner aware of it? Have you ever caught your partner online? Does it bother you? I have no problem with a partner looking at porn videos but online dating sites and chat I find a step over the line, unless agreed upon.

My husband and I have been in a monogamous marriage for nearly 30 years. I'm very happy sexually. We went at it like horny rabbits from day one, and honestly it's never slowed down since. If anything, it's gotten deeper and even more passionate and intense. Sure, we experience peaks and valleys, but generally we make love at least 3-4 times a week.

As for online activity, I generally like looking at pics and photos of hot men, and I know he does the same. Doesn't bother me in the slightest. We both love looking at men/male anatomy and will often point out hot guys we see in public. He knows I'm an ass man, so he knows the kind of guys who will really catch my eye.

Aside from forums such as this one, I also chat privately with several guys, but they all know I'm in a sexually monogamous marriage. I don't think there's anything wrong chatting with someone and even engaging in explicit sexual talk as long as it doesn't cross a boundary, and for me that would be expecting to hook up, which I'm never going to do.

 

[chrisrobin]

The worst thing about being in a relationship you think is monogamous is when you find that after a while the other half is seeking alternative arrangements. No matter how much you may love that person it does begin to affect how you see them, you even pretend you don't know it's going on.
I know this to my cost, and when you have work that takes you away from home for weeks at a time there is a lot of time wondering what is going on. I stuck it through love for over 10 years, but then he announced it was over, it wasn't working. For me there was a great relief, the weight was lifted but the pain never went away, especially as I found out he'd moved in with a guy he met in a local sauna.

 

[chpoof]

The worst thing about being in a relationship you think is monogamous is when you find that after a while the other half is seeking alternative arrangements. No matter how much you may love that person it does begin to affect how you see them, you even pretend you don't know it's going on.
I know this to my cost, and when you have work that takes you away from home for weeks at a time there is a lot of time wondering what is going on. I stuck it through love for over 10 years, but then he announced it was over, it wasn't working. For me there was a great relief, the weight was lifted but the pain never went away, especially as I found out he'd moved in with a guy he met in a local sauna.

I'm really sorry you had this experience.

 

[tito21]

The worst thing about being in a relationship you think is monogamous is when you find that after a while the other half is seeking alternative arrangements. No matter how much you may love that person it does begin to affect how you see them, you even pretend you don't know it's going on.
I know this to my cost, and when you have work that takes you away from home for weeks at a time there is a lot of time wondering what is going on. I stuck it through love for over 10 years, but then he announced it was over, it wasn't working. For me there was a great relief, the weight was lifted but the pain never went away, especially as I found out he'd moved in with a guy he met in a local sauna.

Yes this! Also time and time again when one partner saying they’re in a committed monogamous relationship for over a decade and then found out their monogamous partner has been cheating during that whole decade. I have seen this happened to many gay and straight relationships I know. 2 even got HIV from their ‘monogamous’ partner.

 

[chrisrobin]

I'm really sorry you had this experience.

It did show me that you dn't take things on face value and trust no-one