Guilt over masturbation in your relationship

[Growing123]

For guys in long term relationships/marriages.....

Do you masturbate alone thinking about someone other than your partner or masturbate in the same bed?

Do you feel guilt over it if you do wank off alone?

Do you tell your partner that you jerk off in private or keep it to yourself? What are your reasons for not disclosing?

Do you think it's morally ok to be in a relationship but masturbate over fantasies of others?

My assumption is that most guys in relationships don't masturbate as they don't need to. Am I wrong?

 

[michael_3165]

It's having a wank not fucking someone.
We all have fantasies about others. If we didn't we would be robots. As long as we aren't fucking someone else I don't see the problem.

Don't need to? Unsure if that's a serious question. Haven't you heard the cliche re guys that are married or have kids never shagging their partner? That didn't originate from nowhere.

From my experience sex can fizzle out over time. Also what's wrong w some self love? Nobody jerks me better than I do!

 

[chrisrobin]

Of course you wank if you're in a long-term relationship, and yes you might fantasize about someone else which doesn't make the wank less desirable or fun. Try working away from a lover for a period of time and see if your hands don't stray below the blankets. Wanking is a very personal thing unless its mutual masturbation (which fun) and doesn't need to be reported as you infer - it's a bit like writing down every time you get a semi-lob or erection!

 

[Evenflow618]

I have been on semen retention for my relationship. It’s way bigger load when I cum during sex. I literally edge everyday and get full size erection level during sex. Masturbation takes away the pent up energy for a fuller load.

 

[johnweek1]

I never really think about "people" when I go solo per say. Like yes, I sometimes think about so and so's huge cock and that I time I did x with so and so, but I am not actually fantasizing about being with them. I'm just reliving the pleasure I felt in that moment when I think about it, not the actual person or my feelings towards them.

Like I'm bi, so if I am craving some dick I might fantasize about the last time I gave head and how awesome it was, so in my mind I will picture that person's dick and relive the experience as my right hand takes me to paradise. Or, if I am feeling a straight pull in my bisexuality, I might fanaticize about the last time my FWB gave me head or rode me.

The point I am making is, these things I think about while going solo and beating it are not fantasies with actual people. They are just mental images of past experiences that I had, that help arouse me based on my sexual "craving" in the moment. The people I think about during sex is regulated solely to their sexual organs and they are faceless, nameless, otherwise. Some of my favorite porn is glory-hole based because I seldom care for anything on the other side of the wall, I just want to suck that big thick meaty boi meat or watch a hot girl bend over at the glory hole and give some lucky guy a memory that will last him a lifetime. You literally cant fantasize about a person if you can't see the other person on the wall. So for me, its more viscerally connected to our sexual organs, not the person they are connected to..

The point I am making is, for me, often porn or memories I use when getting myself off are just visual stand-ins for the act I am craving in that moment. I am not thinking about so and so's dick, I am just think about that time I had a nice dick and want one right now and get off to the idea of having a nice dick, so I think about a nice one I had. And as a bi person, its the same with straight sex. "Man I really could use some pussy right now", so I sit back, relax, put my cock in my right hand and just imagine that time I I got laid and a girl rode me senseless.

Like its not a fantasy about the person, it's just a mental stand-in for what I want in that moment, but don't have, so my right hand does the pleasure for me while my mind fills in the blanks. So to answer your question, not I don't feel guilty because I don't fantasize about other people when I go solo, I just fantasize about the act I am craving and then I visualize it either in my mind, or with porn.

 

[Sagittarius84]

My assumption is that most guys in relationships don't masturbate as they don't need to. Am I wrong?

I'm curious how did you come this assumption?

 

[Growing123]

I'm curious how did you come this assumption?

I am single but imagine that in a relationship I would feel huge guilt masturbating over someone other than my partner. I wondered if others in relationships would feel the same to an extent that they cut out masturbation altogether and limit their sex lives to actual sex with their partner.

I'm trying to imagine a respectable and happily married guy jerking off to another male/female and I struggle to believe that they do. So am I wrong or is if very common for married guys to cheat in their fantasies?

 

[elklindoxxx]

For guys in long term relationships/marriages.....

Do you masturbate alone thinking about someone other than your partner or masturbate in the same bed?

Do you feel guilt over it if you do wank off alone?

Do you tell your partner that you jerk off in private or keep it to yourself? What are your reasons for not disclosing?

Do you think it's morally ok to be in a relationship but masturbate over fantasies of others?

My assumption is that most guys in relationships don't masturbate as they don't need to. Am I wrong?

1. If I'm masturbating, then it's to chaturbate. It's no secret. She'll discreetly come by and offer to finish me. And she'll whisper in my ear as she is jerking me off. "You really like that big ass" "That stud's got a big dick, you want to blow him...don't you." The variety spices things up. And I'll return the favor for her.

2. No guilt involved, we masturbate to porn together. We have dual screens on our computer. So she will be masturbating to one thing and I'll be on something else.

3. That's never come up.

4. Yes...we are in an open relationship.

5. I speak for myself. I rarely masturbate along. It's way more enjoyable as a couple or if I go to the JO club.

 

[Latham]

Have been in a relationship have wanked in the same bed as him if he's asleep or to tired to mess around...once l feel asleep on the lounge l woke up and he had blown a load over my chest no guilt felt by either party sometimes you have to fly solo

 

[Latham]

Have been in a relationship have wanked in the same bed as him if he's asleep or to tired to mess around...once l feel asleep on the lounge l woke up and he had blown a load over my chest no guilt felt by either party sometimes you have to fly solo

Thx for the like mate