Gym Etiquette - Major Eye Contact

[alantowne]

Question about talking to/asking a woman out at the gym.
Is it always a no go? Or are there exceptions?
There's this woman who recently signed up at my gym and twice in a row she has given me major eye contact the entire time.
I only glanced at her way once or twice directly (but I have very good peripheral vision so I could see her constantly looking my way).

99% of the time when I'm at the gym I just want to get my work done and keep conversation to a minimum. But it seems like she was just waiting for me to approach her.
I decided not to because of how I feel about my workouts.

Any thoughts? Experiences?
Cheers.

 

[TinyPrincess]

If she's interested, she will make the contact.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I don't go to the gym and never will because of exactly this.

If I'm working out I'm working out. Not trying to meet people.

I wouldn't even notice you because that's not why I would be at a gym. So, for me personally.. if I did go to the gym I'd be one of the "it's never appropriate to approach me because I'm not here to meet people" votes.

I don't represent anyone but myself though.

 

[Spartan727]

I have to agree w you. I have been mia from the site because of health issues.
I belong to a cancer fitness group. We workout very large gym. It is amazing to me how ppl stare. I pay no mind, could care less my mission is my health fitness. In 15 months I received 3 different cancer diagnosis my focus is kicking cancers a$*. A stare can easily be misconstrued. If someone feels the need they will approach.

 

[EllieP]

I just joined a new gym, and I have to develop a new routine.

When I lived in Florida I began going to this gym every morning, and I got a bit too much unwanted attention. So, I began going earlier and earlier until I found that 5:30 a.m. is the magic hour. Only diehards are there at that time, and they're pretty busy with their own routines.

But there were always two young guys there, but they never bothered me. I saw them every morning, and I finally decided to break the ice with a greeting. Then small talk.

I found out they were both former Marines. I mean, the tats were a giveaway, but they were just awesome guys.

They witnessed a couple of times when a newbie would come over to chat me up. One time it got testy, but I handled it.

After that they took it upon themselves to be my gatekeepers! LOL! Seriously! They noticed when someone unfamiliar would come in and just kind of keep him in frame. If he made a movement my way they would very innocently intercept him.

Except one morning they intercepted my husband! It was hilarious! He rarely came in at that time, but he stretched them came over to join me to do cardio.

I don't think hubby knew what to think. I never told him about the guys. And I never told the guys who my husband was.

I de-escalated the situation quickly, and suddenly we were all old friends!

The gym is where I go for me time. I do very little fraternizing there. Before or after my workout maybe.

If that's your idea of a gym then let her lead. I don't know what the protocol is, but if you're both there at the same time often enough you'll develop some type of informal rapport.

How formal you want it to be will be up to the two of you.

 

[MickeyLee]

If she's eyeballing you then a friendly eye contact+smile can't hurt. With the gym approved head nod, of course. If she's interested in more that gives her an open door.

I don't go to the gym for socializing. My workout face is kinda grumpy, so natural selection has made me not a gym pick up option. I don't like to be interrupted getting my sweat on, cuz I have a routine and socializing on equipment is rude.

I've had a few folks chat me up on the way out or while buckling to effective frozen beverage advertising. Damn you tasty smoothies!!

Some folks are asking about working out, I am a giant and have appropriate muscle mass. Some folks are friendly, met the nicest kid cuz we're both spoopy folks and had fandom merch in common. Some folks are obviously throwing true-cringe PUA moves at me. No. Please, leave before my mood shifts.

Treat me like a human being and keep conversation work out/topic related to me as a human, not parts to touch you need an in with, discussions are cool if I'm not gassed or in a hurry.

I have a set up in my house so gyms are rare theses days. True freedom is getting your lift on wearing next to nothing. Also. No stranger bench sweat. The Spicy Cough has made me a bit cootie phobic.

 

[MickeyLee]

@Spartan727 - fuck cancer, kick the bastard's ass!! Sending mad healing and strength your way.

 

[Spartan727]

@Spartan727 - fuck cancer, kick the bastard's ass!! Sending mad healing and strength your way.

ThankYou! It is work related Cancer, the last 15 months have been full of unicorn hunts.
I am blessed to be surrounded w supportive family and friends. I will finish chemo in February. My goal is to compete in June in the Spartan race. NoBeast mode Realistically my goal is to finish.
Honestly I really suck as a patient! Im used to being a first responder helping others. (Not receiving the help.)
Thank for your uplifting words! xx

 

[aheidla]

Don't. Just...work out.

 

[ibex231]

If she's eyeballing you then a friendly eye contact+smile can't hurt. With the gym approved head nod, of course. If she's interested in more that gives her an open door.

I don't go to the gym for socializing. My workout face is kinda grumpy, so natural selection has made me not a gym pick up option. I don't like to be interrupted getting my sweat on, cuz I have a routine and socializing on equipment is rude.

I've had a few folks chat me up on the way out or while buckling to effective frozen beverage advertising. Damn you tasty smoothies!!

Some folks are asking about working out, I am a giant and have appropriate muscle mass. Some folks are friendly, met the nicest kid cuz we're both spoopy folks and had fandom merch in common. Some folks are obviously throwing true-cringe PUA moves at me. No. Please, leave before my mood shifts.

Treat me like a human being and keep conversation work out/topic related to me as a human, not parts to touch you need an in with, discussions are cool if I'm not gassed or in a hurry.

I have a set up in my house so gyms are rare theses days. True freedom is getting your lift on wearing next to nothing. Also. No stranger bench sweat. The Spicy Cough has made me a bit cootie phobic.

This. Make eye contact back, a smile, a nod and see what she does. If nothing, move on.

Some people are just friendly. Some people are thinking of something else. And there are some women, who like some men, are there to ogle and be noticed.

It's irritating (for men, I suppose) and I acknowledge confusing, but like everyone else sometimes I just want to work out and sometimes I really enjoy being checked out and checking out myself. Some days the gym makes me unbearably horny, if I feel like I'm looking good and people are noticing. But I never go to the gym to show off. It's just a nice side effect, and you should never assume a woman is there because she wants to be checked out.

So, I have no good answers other than what she said, which is kind of good advice for everywhere--don't assume that some mild attention means she wants to fuck, but being friendly and open and letting her make the next move is the best way to pursue the possibility that it does. And dropping it when nothing else happens.