I'm speaking broadly of any politician that opposes same sex marriage, surrogacy for gay couples, same sex adoption rights, discrimination laws etc. I'm not suggesting these are only politicians in 2024, but across time.
homophobia among white straight men
- Thread starter Sam0021
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Homophobia: the fear that gay people will treat straight men the way straight men treat women.
Notice how men who treat women with respect and are decent people all around usually have no problems with the gays.
Notice how men who treat women with respect and are decent people all around usually have no problems with the gays.
I Will concede your point about highly desirable men not suffering because of homoerotic proximity, a good example would be Tom Hardy. Still, straight men's homophobia Is not due to women's selectivity.
One must accept your premise to answer the questions you pose, which I do not, and so, will not. However, assuming your are relating your personal experience genuinely, I do not think your examples constitute homophobia per se. No evidence exists they fear you. More plausibly, they do not like you, or do not want to be associated with you -- even just because you are gay -- but such reactions are not prima facie fear-based, so no phobia can be concluded. You might do well to look elsewhere for the reason such men avoid you.
I'm in the U.S. and being a straight guy in my 20s and most of my friends are in the same age range and all are straight, I can certainly tell you homophobia exists even today in the so-called more accepting generation. There are straight guys who don't care about who is gay, but very rarely will have a gay guy as a friend.
I've seen gay kids get bullied when I was in school, only difference now as guys have gotten older is that the homophobic comments are behind gay men's backs. Lots of straight guys don't like gays and soon as one leaves the room/area, comments will be made. Even talking with younger guys, they say gay kids are more "out" these days, but straight kids still make comments, but to themselves as they need to be in line with today's standards of being more inclusive.
This is my personal observation and experience and of course will vary wildly with others.
I've seen gay kids get bullied when I was in school, only difference now as guys have gotten older is that the homophobic comments are behind gay men's backs. Lots of straight guys don't like gays and soon as one leaves the room/area, comments will be made. Even talking with younger guys, they say gay kids are more "out" these days, but straight kids still make comments, but to themselves as they need to be in line with today's standards of being more inclusive.
This is my personal observation and experience and of course will vary wildly with others.
I agree with this. It's not the answer people want to hear these days but it aligns more with my experience tbh. A lot of "acceptance" and "tolerance" these days are pretty surface level. And for some that's probably okay enough. My standards are pretty low. I don't really care if the average straight guy "likes" me or likes gay people. Whatever. As long as you can mind your own business and don't want to see gays literally discriminated against, then we good
So devil's advocate here, is it really a phobia if the reaction is to how they observe men? You tow a very narrow line, and I think it's not altogether unintentional you defined homophobia as the fear of gay people as opposed to fear of gay men, because I would posit a lot of the homophobia that gay men are talking about experiencing with straight men isn't exactly a shared experience amongst gay women. I guess the question is if a straight man is aware of how other straight men move, why should he think differently about a gay man, because if so, that implies the ills of men purely revolve around their desire for women, and that the desire for another man would make a man exempt from the same violence, etc..or it implies that a man that treats women with respect and is generally decent is unable to discern the purported ills of men.
Um...that was a bit muddled for me. It most certainly is a phobia that involves transference and hypocrisy. It DOES involve gay MEN more than women. Women engaging in lesbian sex has always been a male fantasy and there is also the mistaken notion by straight men that REAL sex only happens when there is a penis penetrating a vagina.Thse straight men see lesbian sex as a fetish or foreplay, not real "sex. "
Male sexuality, on the other hand, is threatening. There is the threat that homophobes may suffer gay aggression. There is the unspoken threat that experiencing gay sex may reveal that they like it, or that they might be forced to become gay as well.
I'm not sure what all that "ills of men" stuff is about, but I'm open to discussion.
I’m from the south & have encountered a “fair” volume of homophobia. Statistically speaking it’s more prevalent within the black community, but I think white people are just more vocal/forceful about their personal distastes.
Beyond outright homophobia, what’s been more personally damaging to me has been the subtle homophobia from my straight, white “friends.” My black straight male friends are way more kind and easier to have a platonic friendship with. I guess my point is that, within the smaller pool of straight men that would be friends with a gay person, black dudes are much more chill & less assuming.
Regardless of how vocal on boundaries & mutual respect I am toward white male straight friends, they *always* assume I want to sleep with them or blow them at some point. I think maybe they’re more egotistical and think that gay dudes immediately want to be on their dick, or perhaps don’t really know what an authentic and open friendship is supposed to feel like or something. They’re also more tribal in my opinion, where if straight white guy A has something against friendships with gay guys, then straight white guy B will easily be impressed to adopt a similar perspective.
Idk though, these are just my thoughts/opinions and I ‘try’ not to make assumptions in these circumstances. But black straight men that will be friends with you, are much better friends than straight white dudes in my experience.
"I'm okay with gays as long as they leave me alone."
"Look, you have nothing to worry about."
"Wait...you don't think I'm attractive?"
(eye roll!)
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If you are a straight man, that doesn't objectify/victimize women, but observes a multitude of straight men around you doing that very thing, what is the logical misstep in assuming men who are attracted to men aren't capable of the same behaviors? The purported poignancy of "men are scared gay men will treat them like straight men treat women", somewhat tracks unless there is some implication that homosexuality is inherently devoid, or is an active suppressant to mens ability or propensity for abuse.
It seems like the only hypocrisy would be if the straight guy in question only saw the danger potential of gay men, but if he sees all men as equally dangerous why would that particular lens upon gay men be specifically phobic?
All men are a threat… actually in my opinion, everyone is a threat to your position in life, this is the way it is, if you’ve got it good someone will be jealous and try and fuck your wife, steal your job, do you down, for sure dudes on an equal footing can just chill and chat the shit but be in no doubt one if them will try and fuck you over.
me and my Mrs have it good, I’m lucky to have met her, the number of men and women who’ve tried to spoil it…
i despise homophobic guys because of the damage it causes to the ‘victim’ but also on amother level it gives an insight into the person giving the abuse.. they’re insecure and trying to big themselves up, so what else they gonna do?
sorry For wandering off topic but the ‘fear’ comments made me stop and think.
me and my Mrs have it good, I’m lucky to have met her, the number of men and women who’ve tried to spoil it…
i despise homophobic guys because of the damage it causes to the ‘victim’ but also on amother level it gives an insight into the person giving the abuse.. they’re insecure and trying to big themselves up, so what else they gonna do?
sorry For wandering off topic but the ‘fear’ comments made me stop and think.
I just find it paradoxical we live in a world where women are insisting that a random, ravenous, anus eating bear is a better bet than a random man in the forest, but a man that runs with that logic to an overarching opinion on men is homophobic, unless he only concurs when it comes to straight men.
Think homophobia was around a long time before the white fella made an appearance on the planet. Just guessing.
royal_madnessty
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lol..that's not what i was getting at... i think i used wrong term to describe the situation as "homophobia" because i am not gay, but i have gotten this question about if i am gay around 100 times from white men only, so that's why i thought i will ask here that what i am doing wrong.. I have asked my non white friends also that did they perceive me as gay when i first talked to them, and they said no.. so, i really don't know what wrong do i do when i meet whites that i get this question..
Dude the way you are back tracking is a little embarrassing and in what kind of place do you live where men ask you ''around 100 times'' if you are gay? You're saying a few too many times that you're ''not gay'' btw. This whole thread feels like rage bait, or race bait, whatever you like better. Good luck with all those homopbobic men in Canada as a straight (i assume) white man. Cheers!
thanks for your answer. Based on my experiences, I agree with you that people today in so called "liberal" world are more assuming and less accepting than others.. I mean you might not believe but i cant tell you how many (white) men have assumed i am gay just because in the locker room, they saw me in briefs (not thongs or jocks or any other smaller underwear, just regular briefs) and they told me that they assumed it because i wear briefs, and they continued with their assumption.. i mean even in the west, there was a time people wore bikini type swimwear all the time on beaches, and briefs were a normal underwear.. but now in the so called "accepting" world, where everyone can be anything, you wear briefs, and you get the gay status automatically.. and again sorry, most homophobic comments that i have heard are from white people only, not from black or asians or arabs so far, but i agree, my sample size is only the people i have talked to, which is a very small as compared to the actual ethnic percentages, but sharing my views.
Pfft, what a crock of shit. White men are the most accepting when it comes to LGBT people, period. Go to Africa or the Middle East and see how well you fare in comparison.
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