How Important To You Is Getting/Being In Shape Before Dating?

[Nalyd4Slave]

I'll try not to gay-code this too much. I'm interested in M4F perspective on this too.

For me personally it's 100% important to the point I feel I can't compromise on it. The trade-off for me is a self-imposed loneliness, but I'm still very comfortable with this choice personally and I feel sure it will be worth it in the long run. I keep this hard-line approach to myself 'cause I think some people feel bad if I share it and look at me like I'm 'missing out on love' etc. But the one partner I've had sex with, I've been down that road (just once of trying it was all it took) of sex whilst feeling I was beneath my physical potential, with another person who clearly wasn't picky, and it was OK for me but not that fulfilling. I'll be blunt, I have a superficial streak. I'd like to attract physically above average partners if I can, but I also want to not be a hypocrite and try and become what I'd like to attract as much as possible and not feel like I 'deserve' such partners simply because of my oh-so awesome unseen qualities etc.

So far this year I've lost 4kg (11 pounds) starting from 106kg (233 pounds). I'm hoping to lose like another 20+kg, or 50-odd pounds. I'm on a good track and doing it sensibly (I don't think an eating disorder is in me personally - food is still a constant temptation, and pigging out would still be all too easy ).

 

[38long]

Before dating? Hm, I believe a better approach would be being shape whenever. If you just focus on a certain situation, say the dreadful Summer project, or before dating, or after winning the lottery, you'll never do it because it's really good for you on a whole sense. I'm NOT talking about becoming a gym rat like myself, but simply (truly) caring for your body, which will help you dish out fat and improve your overall performance. However, the best way to lose fat is by weight training, and an intense tone at that. The more lean mass you have on your body, the faster you burn fat. You must remember that your body is adapting to whatever you do all the time, and it comes a moment when just walking on the treadmill won't work anymore, just like lifting those colourful weights might not prompt your body into new growth. Your body will accommodate to both good and bad things. Just pick the good things, stop auto-sabotaging yourself and don't create excuses before you start doing anything. Discipline is not something easy to nurture, but you'll benefit from it in the long run without regrets.

 

[bisex4fun]

When I was in fantastic shape, I did attract some really hot guys and girls. That said, its been awhile since I hit the gym (Im not too fat or over weight...ok, maybe 20 pounds!) more than I want to be. Work, and life in general gets in the way for the gym time. Would I like to be the lean/ripped guy i used to be? Sure.

 

[Nalyd4Slave]

Before dating? Hm, I believe a better approach would be being shape whenever. If you just focus on a certain situation, say the dreadful Summer project, or before dating, or after winning the lottery, you'll never do it because it's really good for you on a whole sense. I'm NOT talking about becoming a gym rat like myself, but simply (truly) caring for your body, which will help you dish out fat and improve your overall performance. However, the best way to lose fat is by weight training, and an intense tone at that. The more lean mass you have on your body, the faster you burn fat. You must remember that your body is adapting to whatever you do all the time, and it comes a moment when just walking on the treadmill won't work anymore, just like lifting those colourful weights might not prompt your body into new growth. Your body will accommodate to both good and bad things. Just pick the good things, stop auto-sabotaging yourself and don't create excuses before you start doing anything. Discipline is not something easy to nurture, but you'll benefit from it in the long run without regrets.

I hear that, the do it for your health mentality. That also factors into it for me. And the building good habits and not just stopping once you've reached the 'mountaintop' .

 

[38long]

Yeah. My first psychiatrist, before he passed away, told me that we need to understand that it's ok to reward ourselves with good habits, and doing so is simply beneficia.,Not doing them, choosing not to or, as I often said, "forget to", was not something to cultivate instead. If it does you good for your health, why not doing it? And keep doing it, always. Your body is your temple, as they say.

 

[elklindoxxx]

My partner and I have been together for a number of years, however we go with other couples.

And we work out together, at least 4 days a week doing strength and conditioning training. So we are in "game shape" all year. It's a lot easier to maintain a level of fitness and a stable weight. Than it is to put on weight and then lose it.

 

[FrankTO]

It's obviously important to stay healthy and to have good habits, but you just cannot expect to know what other people will find attractive. When I met my now-husband, he had lost his hearing aids and was using a Radio Shack amplifier he was hiding under his ball cap, and he was a couple of months away from getting dentures and had 4 teeth in his mouth. We both fell head over heels for each other and we've been together for 20 years. But I'm talking about true love, of course, not (just) sex.

 

[bisex4fun]

I believe its important to be in shape...and for dating. When I divorced my wife, I hit the gym, started eating better (again), and it boosted the self confidence as well as the physical improvements. Sex with others was fantastic, especially the ego boost you get when they are turned on.

 

[Nalyd4Slave]

I believe its important to be in shape...and for dating. When I divorced my wife, I hit the gym, started eating better (again), and it boosted the self confidence as well as the physical improvements. Sex with others was fantastic, especially the ego boost you get when they are turned on.

Good for you man.

For the bolded part, yeah, just from the perspective of M4M anyway, we're dudes, it's probably not that hard to mutually find someone looking for easy release, but like, anyone can text 'wanna hook up' or something to that end, but I think if they texted you with something more specific like 'can't stop thinking about your body' or something, that seems like it would be so much more rewarding and like you say ego boosting.

 

[bisex4fun]

Good for you man.

For the bolded part, yeah, just from the perspective of M4M anyway, we're dudes, it's probably not that hard to mutually find someone looking for easy release, but like, anyone can text 'wanna hook up' or something to that end, but I think if they texted you with something more specific like 'can't stop thinking about your body' or something, that seems like it would be so much more rewarding and like you say ego boosting.

I agree somewhat. Let me explain: For 'me' I am selective with whom I sleep with. Yes, I am shallow. Just because someone 'wants' to have sex, doesn't mean I will....and vice versa. Again, for 'me', its the whole package that counts. Am I special, snobby, no. Am I going to set the world on fire with my looks, and sexual desires, no. Its knowing what I want.

 

[derf3]

Personally, I try to stay in shape most of the time anyway. Regular exercise just keeps me from getting depressed.

I will confess though: when a woman is around, it definitely motivates me to exercise more.

 

[Nalyd4Slave]

I agree somewhat. Let me explain: For 'me' I am selective with whom I sleep with. Yes, I am shallow. Just because someone 'wants' to have sex, doesn't mean I will....and vice versa. Again, for 'me', its the whole package that counts. Am I special, snobby, no. Am I going to set the world on fire with my looks, and sexual desires, no. Its knowing what I want.

Agree. I'd be the same.

But even with someone you mutually wanted to have sex with (could be a FWB or someone who also knows you for other things etc.) the shape you're in might be 'good enough' (for them) but not such a feature they'd really make a point to talk about it.

To have a body shape one's partner would periodically compliment or even just obviously admire without words etc. is definitely more goals .

 

[akbakb]

I am much larger now than my pictures. I definitely want to get in better shape . I'm definitely putting off seeking because of it too. So yes I think it's important getting in better shape , because I'd expect the same.