How Often Do You Need To Release?

[Sagittarius84]

Sorry, I guess I just don’t experience the type of behavior or discrimination you’re talking about. I hear some people mention it from time to time but I’ve never experienced it. Maybe I’m just lucky, I dunno.

To your recollection can you point a time in the collective social eye where heterosexual male masturbation was championed celebrated, or even normalized? If you took 1000 random people and searched through a random woman's purse, or a random man's backpack, and a discreet, respective sex toy was discovered, whom do you think would be more positively received by those people?

My point is even if you haven't experienced it personally, overall there is a very paradoxical modern societal reconciliation with masturbation; more positively incentivized and encouraged amongst women in general and more demonized/vilified for men, even if ideologically recognized as purely biologically healthy behavior. It is because of this core bias that I don't think this particular society is equipped to deem what masturbation is healthy or not, short of the extreme.

 

[sfarugby]

I'm an everyday guy

 

[thickcockjames]

To your recollection can you point a time in the collective social eye where heterosexual male masturbation was championed celebrated, or even normalized? If you took 1000 random people and searched through a random woman's purse, or a random man's backpack, and a discreet, respective sex toy was discovered, whom do you think would be more positively received by those people?

My point is even if you haven't experienced it personally, overall there is a very paradoxical modern societal reconciliation with masturbation; more positively incentivized and encouraged amongst women in general and more demonized/vilified for men, even if ideologically recognized as purely biologically healthy behavior. It is because of this core bias that I don't think this particular society is equipped to deem what masturbation is healthy or not, short of the extreme.

Quite honestly, I think you’re overthinking this. It has nothing to do with social acceptance. At all. It has do to with dependencies, and addictions. I’m not talking about what is socially acceptable or not. That point is moot in this conversation IMO.

We could change the topic of this to drinking alcohol, or coffee, or to eating, or to playing video games and my response would be the same. If it’s something that has a direct effect on your mood, and becomes a necessity for you to indulge in or you will be in a bad mood, that is called being dependent upon something and that leads to addictions.

i think it’s important to be aware of this, and to be mindful of what is affecting you and your emotional state, so I point it out.

In the topic you are wanting to bring up. Why is, do you think, there is a difference in the outlook of men vs women when it comes to masturbation? It’s simple. Men are in charge, and men have objectified and hyper sexualized women for thousands of years. Men have monetized the female body, and turned it into a prize. So when the societal outlook of a woman is to be a sex toy, then yes they are going to be allowed to act in a more sexual manor.

Men, want to act this way, but it’s far less accepting because the men who are in charge are also homophobic. The idea of hyper sexualizing someone also comes with a feeling of superiority over that person, and straight men are not going to hyper sexualize themselves to lose that “power”.

Ever wonder why it’s been so difficult for women to get equal footing in our society? Because they are not looked upon as equal. That’s why sex workers, even though it being the oldest profession and literally the reason many coastal cities even exist, are looked down upon even though it’s the same people who look down upon them who are their patrons.

 

[ShaitanIblis]

Humanity is full of less scandalous, more mundane habits that are no more or less consequential to our respective moods. I just think it convenient that a society that slowly and surely started to embrace the sexual fulfillment of women, and celebrates their multi orgasmic potential, is suddenly so scrutinous about men daring to define and wrest their sexual fulfillment beyond what they "earn" or what outside parties deem acceptable.
I don't think a society that still freely demonizes or vilifies the normal masturbatory habits of the average man(while simultaneously encouraging women to do so, often in lieu of pursuing sexual partners), has any valid claim as to what is too much masturbation for a guy, short of his health, or livelihood suffering.

Sorry, I guess I just don’t experience the type of behavior or discrimination you’re talking about. I hear some people mention it from time to time but I’ve never experienced it. Maybe I’m just lucky, I dunno.

But again, I’m not condemning anyone here. I’m the type of person who likes to be in control of my mood and emotions, and I believe that’s a healthy goal it have. Emotional awareness and emotional maturity. If your mood is predicated on feeding a vice, then it’s impossible to have that. So, I just offer advice of looking into it and being mindful of it. That’s all. And I’d say that to someone of any gender because mental health is important.

I’m also not saying someone is bad for doing so, I’m not shaming anyone. Everyone has their vices, but it’s good to keep those vices in check.

The modern, popular no-fap movement has definitely revived and amplified the anti-masturbation or rather the anti-self-pleasuring sentiment. That movement has rapidly and exponentially grown in popularity, and seriously... According to that movement, the very existence of this website is a huge no-no.

No-fap claims to be about the health benefits of semen retention, being more active, productive, becoming more attractive to a real-life partner (most ideally of the opposite sex)… But it's mostly a revamped version of the good old religious condemnation of onanism.

If the no-fap movement recommended not to self-pleasure more than two or three times a month, it would not be so bad, but it recommends total abstinence unless it is with a partner. And it strictly forbids most types of adult content. Those who do no-fap often feel guilt if they have a "relapse."

 

[Sagittarius84]

In the topic you are wanting to bring up. Why is, do you think, there is a difference in the outlook of men vs women when it comes to masturbation? It’s simple. Men are in charge, and men have objectified and hyper sexualized women for thousands of years. Men have monetized the female body, and turned it into a prize. So when the societal outlook of a woman is to be a sex toy, then yes they are going to be allowed to act in a more sexual manor.

Except this is all a red herring...thousands of years ago only one man in 17 was actually siring children. When only a few men are in charge(and hoarding all the women) all bodies become objectified(and in many case over sexualized) , in the hundreds of yrs since more and more average men have had access to women for mating and dating, you can see a parallel of more autonomy, agency, and freedom being granted to the average women the more and more men offered access to the average woman.

A small proportion of men put most women to be sex toys, the vast majority sought out partners, and were the prime facilitators for women to discover themselves sexually in a way the few powerful men wouldn't have allowed or cared for.

So today if you were to take average women, in consideration between the average man(i.e., the greatest advocates and facilitators of women's socioeconomic upheaval) and the upper escheleon of desirable men(i.e. those most likely to be averse or apathetic to her freedom of sexual expression), Id argue far more women would overlook/embrace the masturbatory habits of the latter than the former.
Women(by their own sexual selection and dating hierarchy), and by proxy, society have essentially said those few men most able and prone to treating women like sex toys get to express/satiate their sexuality in any way they may see fit, while the average men least able and least prone to treating women like sex toys are vilified.

 

[techpump]

When in relationships, I very rarely masturbated as I was getting laid, which is waaaaaaaaaay better! Typically 2-3 times a week, but even when only 1 time a week, it was enough to keep me sexually satisfied. If there was a longer gap due to illness, travel, temporary breakup, etc, then I would take things into my own hands to get some relief. However, having a woman in my life, and having sexual relations with her, has always taken a significantly higher precedence over masturbation!

When I was single I probably masturbated at about the same rate, 2, maybe 3 times a week. I've never, ever experienced 'blue balls' or irritability due to the lack of orgasms. Even a once-a-week jerk-off was enough to counteract that!

Same here, when my wife and I had sex nearly daily I'd only self pleasure like 2 times a month, maybe 3, when she was on her period and she wasn't giving me a champion blowjob to get me off, which she did every month she was on her cycle, sometimes two BJs I'd get during those 5 days.

When we couldn't have sex due to her cancer and menopause complications that have come and gone over the last 10 years, I'd cum every single day. I think only a few days a month I wouldn't. Out of town for on average 4 days a week for various reasons, I wouldn't cum, but would get off once or twice a day while back home and then I'd leave again and wait. Up until earlier this year I was getting off about 20 times a month solo, and a few times with my wife. But over the last 8 or so months my need, want, or urge to cum has diminished severely, and I think about it but don't act on it. I used to cum every night. I think I only cum at night like once a month now. Maybe its my hormones changing as I age? Now I'm more of a late morning and afternoon guy. My wife and I actually have more sex between 2-5pm than at night.

 

[techpump]

The modern, popular no-fap movement has definitely revived and amplified the anti-masturbation or rather the anti-self-pleasuring sentiment. That movement has rapidly and exponentially grown in popularity, and seriously... According to that movement, the very existence of this website is a huge no-no.

No-fap claims to be about the health benefits of semen retention, being more active, productive, becoming more attractive to a real-life partner (most ideally of the opposite sex)… But it's mostly a revamped version of the good old religious condemnation of onanism.

If the no-fap movement recommended not to self-pleasure more than two or three times a month, it would not be so bad, but it recommends total abstinence unless it is with a partner. And it strictly forbids most types of adult content. Those who do no-fap often feel guilt if they have a "relapse."

No-fap is not healthy. Its like "don't touch yourself because you'll look at porn" where it should just be "touch yourself without porn". Men who feel guilt from self pleasuring usually feel guilty because they are touching themselves, which like you said, goes back to that religious bullshit. But when men touch themselves they learn to love themselves, and feel good about their bodies and the body-mind connection that has to be there to be attractive to other people, and to actually have the equipment in good working condition so when it comes down to having sex the shit actually works because the man knows how to use it correctly (practice makes perfect lol!!).

Semen retention should actually be relabeled "semen release prevention" because semen is created at the moment ejaculation is imminent. Its like saying "my balls are swollen because they are full of cum and need to be drained" where the testicles aren't full of anything semen-related at all. I think the whole idea of "retention" leads to the idea that we're "pent up" or "withholding" our sexuality, not just fluids, and to retain is to bottle things up and hide things inside, to prevent it from coming out and being revealed. It should be "prevent the release of semen" which sounds so completely different.

And you point out the use of the word "relapse" which is usually used today to describe the plight of an addict. Alcoholics relapse, meth and heroin users relapse. Just touching yourself to cum, that's a "relapse"??!!?? Sounds like the no-fap inventors are fuddy duddies to me. How can something so wonderful and healthy be compared 1:1 to something a heroin addict faces daily when they are trying to quit heroin?

I think there is way more guilt and shame built into the minds of males aged 13-25 today than ever before simply because of the internet's attempt to help those guys become "healthier" or more equipped to live normal, healthy, productive sex lives, when the tactics and advice those sites offer actually takes those guys back closer to the 1950s than ever before.