I don’t like kissing

[CocacolaDeVidrio]

Hi, unsure bi here.

I’m young and crazy into woman, but very open sexually, where I found anal estimation and trans porn in my teen age years very pleasurable.

Now almost at my thirties, with a girlfriend, I think I want to get fucked. The problem is I don’t like men.

I have a very specific type of men (twinks) I find attracted to in porn, but I have never been aroused for a man in real life, I even kissed one and felt like when you kiss on acid, not very sexual, highly self-aware. And it was not the situation, I was on a club with strangers and very comfortable, I have high self-steem on that side.

I believe it has to do with the hormones, because mentally I’m open to explore, but physiologically I don’t feel anything. Smell is important to me, and I have never smelled a man in the street and got aroused as it happens with women all the time.

I don’t know. What do I do?

 

[mushroomcap]

You sound like me and many other bisexual men. For me, sex is sex regardless of what sex it’s with. As for romance and physical attraction, it’s the opposite sex only with the rare exception of a particularly cute twink.
As to your question, there’s nothing to do. Why do you feel the need to do something? Enjoy sex with men and romantic relationships with women. It’s not complicated!

 

[CocacolaDeVidrio]

I think my question is about how do I fulfill my sexuality when I don’t get really get aroused with men physically, on the warmup. I could see it happening on <molly> but I can’t get hard with it. (Tried already). My “girlfriend” is very open about this, she is ok as long as she doesn’t know.
But how do I put myself into a safe situation to explore. Like a MMF

 

[latinluva]

I never liked kissing either when I was younger, but then this one guy had an amazing cock. He would make me cum while fucking me....all while shoving his tongue deep down my throat. After several fuck sessions, I started to like being kissed and fucked. It grows on ya!

 

[SilverDadBottom]

Hi, unsure bi here.

I’m young and crazy into woman, but very open sexually, where I found anal estimation and trans porn in my teen age years very pleasurable.

Now almost at my thirties, with a girlfriend, I think I want to get fucked. The problem is I don’t like men.

I have a very specific type of men (twinks) I find attracted to in porn, but I have never been aroused for a man in real life, I even kissed one and felt like when you kiss on acid, not very sexual, highly self-aware. And it was not the situation, I was on a club with strangers and very comfortable, I have high self-steem on that side.

I believe it has to do with the hormones, because mentally I’m open to explore, but physiologically I don’t feel anything. Smell is important to me, and I have never smelled a man in the street and got aroused as it happens with women all the time.

I don’t know. What do I do?

Pardon the rambling: I’m older, but I’ve had similar experiences—I’m also only sexually attracted to a narrow band of men. My sexual and emotional orientation toward women comprises the dominant part of my identity. I’ve been hit on by attractive, awesome gay and bi men, and felt repelled in the same way (as I would with my friends). It’s puzzled me. Like: Why don’t I like this? Or: Why am I attracted to such a limited number of guys, and why does the desire feel “different”?

We don’t have the framework or analogy to identify every variety of sexuality. Think about how little access many of us had to non-heterosexual erotica or porn in the past. I knew i had a non-obsessive sexual crush on a guy in my middle school and high school. But it was the 1980s. I had only vague, adolescent ideas about gay sex. And I knew I wasn’t actually gay.

But as a late teen, I remember coming across descriptions of gay sex in books as a teen lit-nerd: the playwright Joe Orton’s diaries, with his accounts of his hookups; James Baldwin’s fictional accounts; an Oscar Wilde biography with its descriptions of “intercrural” intercourse. I remember buying an anthology of gay erotic fiction in the 1990s, and finding only a couple of stories that got me off. I didn’t see men fucking in porn until I was in my late 20s.

I was sexually attracted to maybe 4 or 5 guys between the ages of 11 and 18. I had no real male celebrity crushes. With those odds, it’s entirely possible that I wouldn’t even been fully aware of this part of myself had I gone to a different middle school. Even in college, I had few attractions.

The availability of gay porn certainly doesn’t cause people to be gay. But I think it offers an opportunity to discover or explore parts of selves that may not have been able to surface even 25 years ago, let alone 100. Plus, we can now know we’re not unique or alone: our sexual desires and identities don’t seem to follow general patterns. It can be frustrating, but it’s nice to know it’s simply who I am.

 

[dickthrobbing]

Hi, unsure bi here.

I’m young and crazy into woman, but very open sexually, where I found anal estimation and trans porn in my teen age years very pleasurable.

Now almost at my thirties, with a girlfriend, I think I want to get fucked. The problem is I don’t like men.

I have a very specific type of men (twinks) I find attracted to in porn, but I have never been aroused for a man in real life, I even kissed one and felt like when you kiss on acid, not very sexual, highly self-aware. And it was not the situation, I was on a club with strangers and very comfortable, I have high self-steem on that side.

I believe it has to do with the hormones, because mentally I’m open to explore, but physiologically I don’t feel anything. Smell is important to me, and I have never smelled a man in the street and got aroused as it happens with women all the time.

I don’t know. What do I do?

One option your girlfriend gets a strapon, not the same as a real cock.

If you want to be fucked by a guy, you don't have to do any kissing, quite bluntly contact a guy that fucks guys ie a Top. You turn up, drop your trousers and pants bend over and take his cock in your arse. When done pull your cloths up and walk away

 

[goldscorpguy]

I never liked kissing either when I was younger, but then this one guy had an amazing cock. He would make me cum while fucking me....all while shoving his tongue deep down my throat. After several fuck sessions, I started to like being kissed and fucked. It grows on ya!

I'm exactly like this too. When I'm being fucked then kissing, especially in the missionary position, just seems right, his cock deep in my hole and his tongue in my mouth. But afterwards, when I'm dressed and leaving, a goodbye snog always seems weird. I guess that's the difference between love & lust!

 

[CocacolaDeVidrio]

One option your girlfriend gets a strapon, not the same as a real cock.

If you want to be fucked by a guy, you don't have to do any kissing, quite bluntly contact a guy that fucks guys ie a Top. You turn up, drop your trousers and pants bend over and take his cock in your arse. When done pull your cloths up and walk away

Isn’t this very discouraged? To get a first time from Grindr?

 

[Rob1hallz]

I didn't then........ Had dinner with a guy I met on Sniffies who wanted to meet to get to know each other. Had a nice dinner then when we left he just grabs me and proceeds to give me tongue bath. Thought I would only kiss women, but I found I liked it. With women it's romantic, with men, still just sex.

 

[WilliamG]

One option your girlfriend gets a strapon, not the same as a real cock.

If you want to be fucked by a guy, you don't have to do any kissing, quite bluntly contact a guy that fucks guys ie a Top. You turn up, drop your trousers and pants bend over and take his cock in your arse. When done pull your cloths up and walk away

My wife has fucked me with our strapon. That's what got me wanting a real cock even more.

 

[deleted19462351]

For me it's as easy as: do I genuinely like the guy? The kissing feels amazing
Maybe I don't like him that much? The kissing is ok at best.

 

[dickthrobbing]

Isn’t this very discouraged? To get a first time from Grindr?

Hope not.

If you want to be fucked by a guy and don't want to do kissing make that clear to the guy or guys you contact.

There are many guys who either don't like you want to do kissing or are happy not to kiss in a meet.

I never wanted to do kissing until one time when a guy lip locked me while I was on my back and he was on top fucking me.

Kissing is a personal preference just mention it to the guys you meet

 

[Lookinginconshy]

Oh kissing makes it so much more intense. Without kissing it feels like something is missing. I am always up front about it before meeting up.

 

[Scott8361]

Just enjoy what you enjoy! For me I was the same as you, but as I've gotten older I find I am able to relax and just be honest with partners with what i like and want... and what i DON'T want!

But I have also found with certain guys it HAS clicked to where it got intensely erotic and I found myself making out and kissing with animalistic passion! Surprised me! But only with a couple guys. Being fucked while making out was exhilarating!

So relax... but keep an open mind!

 

[alexsopim]

Hi, unsure bi here.

I’m young and crazy into woman, but very open sexually, where I found anal estimation and trans porn in my teen age years very pleasurable.

Now almost at my thirties, with a girlfriend, I think I want to get fucked. The problem is I don’t like men.

I have a very specific type of men (twinks) I find attracted to in porn, but I have never been aroused for a man in real life, I even kissed one and felt like when you kiss on acid, not very sexual, highly self-aware. And it was not the situation, I was on a club with strangers and very comfortable, I have high self-steem on that side.

I believe it has to do with the hormones, because mentally I’m open to explore, but physiologically I don’t feel anything. Smell is important to me, and I have never smelled a man in the street and got aroused as it happens with women all the time.

I don’t know. What do I do?

Have you ever felt even slightly sexually attracted to a guy (no matter what type)? If yes then you are probably bisexual (or heteroflexible or bi-curious) even if you sexually and romantically prefer women. But if you are only attracted to the male sexual organ, in my opinion you can still be straight because you are not into guys but you simply have a fetish for the penis which still makes you less straight than other men but not enough to be bisexual. The same can be said about straight men who likes trans women. This is just my opinion.

 

[bi2]

Neither myself nor my fuckbuddy are into kissing in general. While I never instigate an intimate kiss, I will always kiss him back as passionately as he kisses me whenever he initiates it. If he starts kissing me outside of sex, its only because he wants sex, which is really good because that gives me the signal of what is to come. During sex, he will kiss me obviously when he is horny, but usually much closer to when he is to cumming. Obviously I get into it a lot more, because our mutual common goal is for him to cum deep inside me, so anything that he wants or needs to cum, I will happily do.

Outside of sex, I will usuall give him a quick kiss on the lips when I go. Its more of a submissive feminine gesture that I do it, than anything meaninful.