So I decided to revisit old text messages from my first fwb who acted like my boyfriend. Those texts that I saved read as two people in a relationship. That's exactly what it was for being in each other's lives for four years, just not knowing where we stood. Am I someone you just like to fuck? Why do you admit you care about me? What's with the tone in your words? He was sending me mixed signals, but at a certain point I put a stop to it after coming down hard on him for treating me like I'm an afterthought.
Out of nowhere, he starts talking about his girlfriend. I'm like, your who? So you are in a relationship and fucking a dude on the side? Why would you put me in that kind of compromise? At one point, I asked him to re-photo me to hint that I haven't seen him in forever and I forgot what he looked like. True chiz. That's how long the gaps were in between seeing one another. With a selfie of him with a fresh haircut, he also sends me a dick pic from that morning out of the shower. I asked him, if you are in a relationship with this love of your life, why are you sending me dick pics? I didn't ask for one, nor did I imply I wanted one. I caught him between a rock and a hard place with his own backwards logic. Then when I told him how I really felt about him, just to get it off my chest as I had been holding it in forever, he dominates the conversation and tries to let me down gently like that wasn't obvious as hell. I told him I didn't want him the way I used to, I'm done with that and I guess he felt bad about himself so he had to let me down gently.
As I read it back, those two people were in a relationship. The feelings, the statements, the words used. I got the impression he was hinting at something several times, and he may very well be on this message board reading this. I didn't want to catch feelings for him, but what do you expect between two people who are being physically intimate on and off for 4 years. It was a relationship only I was brave enough to see it as that. The last text message was the last text message sent in July of 2018. I think about him all the time. I shouldn't, but I do. But I've learned to move on from him and his toxic ways. I feel like it's my destiny to be in a toxic relationship no matter what kind it is.
Out of nowhere, he starts talking about his girlfriend. I'm like, your who? So you are in a relationship and fucking a dude on the side? Why would you put me in that kind of compromise? At one point, I asked him to re-photo me to hint that I haven't seen him in forever and I forgot what he looked like. True chiz. That's how long the gaps were in between seeing one another. With a selfie of him with a fresh haircut, he also sends me a dick pic from that morning out of the shower. I asked him, if you are in a relationship with this love of your life, why are you sending me dick pics? I didn't ask for one, nor did I imply I wanted one. I caught him between a rock and a hard place with his own backwards logic. Then when I told him how I really felt about him, just to get it off my chest as I had been holding it in forever, he dominates the conversation and tries to let me down gently like that wasn't obvious as hell. I told him I didn't want him the way I used to, I'm done with that and I guess he felt bad about himself so he had to let me down gently.
As I read it back, those two people were in a relationship. The feelings, the statements, the words used. I got the impression he was hinting at something several times, and he may very well be on this message board reading this. I didn't want to catch feelings for him, but what do you expect between two people who are being physically intimate on and off for 4 years. It was a relationship only I was brave enough to see it as that. The last text message was the last text message sent in July of 2018. I think about him all the time. I shouldn't, but I do. But I've learned to move on from him and his toxic ways. I feel like it's my destiny to be in a toxic relationship no matter what kind it is.
