I understand where you're coming from.I'm curious to follow this thread purely from a socialscience perspective. I do not have any wisdom or advice because I cannot relate to the OP...at all.
But I'm fascinated.
The only thing I'll contribute is to not over think and just be
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I'm actually trying to decide whether to move to Nebraska (which was my original plan) or to Las Vegas (this guy I'm courting lives out there).
My new guy is 35, and I'm 27 - he's the first age gap I've ever fallen for, so it's taken me some time to get used to.
We were friends first, for 7 years, before I told him I've had a crush on him for 7 years and never admitted it until recently.
I dated a lot of idiots from 2017 until now.
And I'm turning 28 in August - I've come a long way since 21!
And if things don't work out between myself & my new guy (you never know what might happen, so I'm always prepared), there is a woman I'm interested in, as well - but it's difficult to contact her.