In need of guidance and a friend

[shakaishugi]

Hey fellow LPSGers,

I've been finding my time here to be so pleasant. LPSG interestingly has shown to be much less judgmental than other spaces for men I've encountered online.

I am queer and I am fat. I'm sick and tired of feeling disdainful of my body. I have man-boobs and a muffin top, my arms are flabby and my face is puffy.

I actually lost 20 pounds in my freshman year of college. Walking and eating vegetarian led me to go from 185 pounds to 165 pounds, but I gained it back and now am hitting 200 pounds.

I'm feeling lost and ashamed. If there's anyone in LPSG land who can help and be a supportive friend, I would love to hear from you—gay, straight, bicurious, however you identify. I feel like I need a strong male presence in my life. Hopefully I can find it here

I'm on Kik. My username is shakaishugi there as well.

 

[Dave NoCal]

Being overweight is bad for your health regardless of your social situation. As a gay man it will particularly restrict your options. You need to commit yourself to solving that problem ASAP. You will be surprised how much taking control of your life will improve your outlook.

 

[buzzrider7]

Ditto! It can definitely be helpful to have some support and friends, but the actual changes to lifestyle, habits, exercise and daily choices can only be made my you. Those changes are not easy, though. I will say that momentum is they key. And momentum can only come from taking the first step (not just talking about taking the first step). Decide what is the first step you can take to start to lose the weight, and take it today. When that feels easy, take the next step. Make the first step small and easy so there is little chance for failure. With each new step you take, you will have the momentum of all the previous steps behind it, giving you more and more power and determination as you go. You can't leap to the top of a 50-story building, but you can easily climb it one step at at time going at your own pace.
I just posted a six-week challenge for those looking for some support in making changes to their bodies (in this same forum). Check it out and join if it feels like it might help. You might also consider finding a local support group for people working on losing weight and re-shaping their bodies (such as Overeaters Anonymous if that seems applicable). Good luck!!

 

[Kimahri]

Just from a guy that was in dire straits relating to weight issues, the effort must first and foremost be from you. The downside is putting that effort into reading and asking...no one knows all the little nuances that make up you as a person. The guys here are really good and helpful.

The biggest pitfall of mine was results. Even though I knew after x amount of time I'd have to switch things up, when the results slowed, I had to have the discipline to change it up, go harder or ask one of the experienced types.

Food wasn't the big downfall for me. I used to play Lacrosse 3-4 times a week, workout 3-4 times a week and go do random physical stuff. I drank as many calories as I'd burn back then. When I didn't do what I needed to and my life situation deteriorated and I fell into a depression, the physical activity ceased, the drinking did not.

I've also had to be mindful of my thinking. Mindset is important as well. Dave Nocal isn't just another hottie, he knows his stuff so I'm glad to see he's responded.

 

[TheRob]

Hey fellow LPSGers,

I've been finding my time here to be so pleasant. LPSG interestingly has shown to be much less judgmental than other spaces for men I've encountered online.

I am queer and I am fat. I'm sick and tired of feeling disdainful of my body. I have man-boobs and a muffin top, my arms are flabby and my face is puffy.

I actually lost 20 pounds in my freshman year of college. Walking and eating vegetarian led me to go from 185 pounds to 165 pounds, but I gained it back and now am hitting 200 pounds.

I'm feeling lost and ashamed. If there's anyone in LPSG land who can help and be a supportive friend, I would love to hear from you—gay, straight, bicurious, however you identify. I feel like I need a strong male presence in my life. Hopefully I can find it here

I'm on Kik. My username is shakaishugi there as well.

did you find any success?

 

[wavejock]

My thought on anyone dealing with this, is that there are no quick fixes and anything you may do..diet, weight watchers, a new gym membership etc usually will be a temporary fix. The first part is what you have done...you are not happy with yourself. Trust me that is a huge step because many people just accept what they are, ignore it, and go about their routine.

For me its about changing your lifestyle and the day to day way you approach it. walk more, bike more, move more. watch less TV. Seriously if it is a weekend and it is nice out you should never be sitting in front of the tube...you should be outside doing something, a sport, walking, gardening whatever floats your boat. When it becomes part of your routine it will not seem like a chore...youll actually feel bad when you dont do something active instead of being sedentary. Yes what you eat is hugely important, but moving is what will make you feel better. If you eat the same thing but move more you will look and feel better. If you eat a little better and move more you will look and feel 10X better. For most diets and all that are shit long term. How many times have you seen these people who push diet plans like Oprah, valerie bertinelli, Kirstie alley etc. they NEVER keep the weight off because rather than change their lifestyle they try silly diets.

 

[cloverleaf]

Agree. When you feel not so great physically and mentally the hardest fucking thing is to take one step much less embrace a big plan.

Thirty minutes. Get on a treadmill or a bike and just go until you feel winded. Or take a brisk walk/run. it will release endorphins and you will likely notice feeling better within a few days if you keep at it.

Exercise is a powerful feel good drug. Just start. Let the "plan" find you one day at a time. One better choice at a time,

And know this; you are an awesome creation. I am totally all in for fitness and have been for a long time, But the measure of a man is not his physical dimensions and bmi ratio.

Ironically the mental and, yes, spiritual benefits of exercise help you undetstand that while also improving the physical dimensions...

 

[JackDoff]

I agree there's no fast route to it. If you want a better looking body, then weight training is the way to go. Hit the weights for 40-60mins then get on a treadmill to burn the fat. Best done this way round for glycogen depletion then fat burn, I won't bore you with the science behind it. It's explained here https://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/fat_loss_training_wars.htm basically if you go just the cardio route you'll loose weight but will be a smaller version of yourself. I assume you want to look better and have a better body shape.

Some good reads in here too http://www.bodyrecomposition.com/articles/
find a friendly gym and ask for tips off the lads in there. Where I train the lads & girls are always happy to offer advice and the gym owner will put a diet & training plan together for you.

The key is consistency. Eat well & train well.

 

[Notaes]

I lost 60 lbs myself last year had wonderful benefits for me.

 

[BetterFuture]

OP, just get started in the right direction towards eating better and working out. It will feel better to just be on the path... but remember that the changes (losing fat, adding muscle) will come very slowly... but they will come. Personally, I feel mentally better as I'm walking out of the gym having finished a good workout. That positive mental feeling can build upon itself day after day.

 

[JackDoff]

OP, just get started in the right direction towards eating better and working out. It will feel better to just be on the path... but remember that the changes (losing fat, adding muscle) will come very slowly... but they will come. Personally, I feel mentally better as I'm walking out of the gym having finished a good workout. That positive mental feeling can build upon itself day after day.

Good point dude! I always say you never regret walking out of the gym!

It might be difficult to motivate yourself to go but you feel great walking out knowing you've done what many aren't prepared to do. In fact it's other people I mentally call upon to motivate myself, while most of my friends are spending Saturday morning wrestling with a hangover I'm in the gym improving my physical & mental well being. That being said, I've got a big party tonight so a day off from the gym tomorrow and some fun is a good balance.