Is My [M35] Husband [M35] Cheating? Seeking Advice

[radiant-entrance]

I’m feeling conflicted and would really appreciate some advice. My (M) husband (M) and I have been together for a while, and I’ve never had any major reason to doubt his fidelity. However, recently I’ve started having this nagging feeling that something might be going on.

A while back, he went out alone for the afternoon, which isn’t unusual. When he came back, I noticed a brown stain on the seat of his pants. It struck me as odd, and I started wondering if it could be related to something like having sex somewhere without being able to clean up properly afterward.

I know this might sound like I’m overthinking, and I have no concrete evidence, just this weird gut feeling. I don’t want to jump to conclusions or accuse him without reason, but I also can’t shake the thought.

Does this sound like a reasonable concern, or am I letting my imagination run wild? It could have been an embarrassing accident? If you were in my shoes, would you think anything more about this?

Thanks for any advice or perspectives you can share.

 

[briacon429]

Do you know what the stain was? Are you sure it was a skid mark? From what you’re describing, he could’ve just as well have sat on something dirty, or even just leaned against it.

Either way, a stain by itself isn’t evidence of infidelity. I think the bigger issue is what’s making you worry so much. Do you feel like you trust him? Has he done other things that rubbed you the wrong way, or given you other reasons to doubt him?

 

[radiant-entrance]

Do you know what the stain was? Are you sure it was a skid mark? From what you’re describing, he could’ve just as well have sat on something dirty, or even just leaned against it.

Either way, a stain by itself isn’t evidence of infidelity. I think the bigger issue is what’s making you worry so much. Do you feel like you trust him? Has he done other things that rubbed you the wrong way, or given you other reasons to doubt him?

It wasn't a skid mark, it was a spill, and it was definitely that.

 

[XSILVER]

may be the guy just had a wet fart and didnt know it left a mark. Has happened to the best of us

 

[J704]

I’m invested…

 

[Stephenmass]

may be the guy just had a wet fart and didnt know it left a mark. Has happened to the best of us

I had to laugh a bit because here we call those splarts! When you think it's only a fart, but it comes out forceful. To the OP I am not minimalizing your question tho.

@Briancon429 said this in the second part of his statement.

"Either way, a stain by itself isn’t evidence of infidelity. I think the bigger issue is what’s making you worry so much. Do you feel like you trust him? Has he done other things that rubbed you the wrong way, or given you other reasons to doubt him?"

This really is a very valid question. Generally speaking, a person doesn't start to mistrust his partner unless there is normally a valid reason. I'd like to add, does he seem distant compared to what he used to be? Is he taking more showers than he used to? Is he not at home more than he used to be? Is there something else "off" that is making you suspicious that the stain wasn't an accident?

 

[Valeri0]

Strangers on the internet can only guess so you have a better chance of find out if your husband is cheating by talking to him. And you should since STDs and yadda yadda. Make sure you're safe even if that means making your partner uncomfortable for a few minutes.

But anyways since you asked us users to speculate on your situation I would say that yes, he's probably cheating... 35 years isn't old enough to have "leaks" unless a medical condition is present. It is strange to me that he would cheat in a place where he couldn't properly clean himself afterwards in the afternoon though. Usually people meet up in places like that in the evening. But a stain isn't a skid mark as someone else suggested or at least I don't think it is by your description of the situation. What I imagine is that lube or something else leaked out afterwards, but my guess is as good as everyone's.

I'm probably biased on the topic but life experiences thought me that if there are signals that a man is cheating he very likely is.

 

[Jorgejorge222]

I’m feeling conflicted and would really appreciate some advice. My (M) husband (M) and I have been together for a while, and I’ve never had any major reason to doubt his fidelity. However, recently I’ve started having this nagging feeling that something might be going on.

A while back, he went out alone for the afternoon, which isn’t unusual. When he came back, I noticed a brown stain on the seat of his pants. It struck me as odd, and I started wondering if it could be related to something like having sex somewhere without being able to clean up properly afterward.

I know this might sound like I’m overthinking, and I have no concrete evidence, just this weird gut feeling. I don’t want to jump to conclusions or accuse him without reason, but I also can’t shake the thought.

Does this sound like a reasonable concern, or am I letting my imagination run wild? It could have been an embarrassing accident? If you were in my shoes, would you think anything more about this?

Thanks for any advice or perspectives you can share.

Ask him how he would feel about getting an app like life 360 for “safety purposes”, if he gets really upset or defensive then make a mental note. I’d also keep track of when he leaves, how long, his excuses, and any other information that could be useful in the future to catch him in a lie. You could also check his phone but snooping will probably make you feel awful so it’s always a last resort. But in the end the truth will always come to light.

Also I know I might sound crazy but this is why I avoid relationships, just the thought of my hypothetical S/O cheating gives me major anxiety.

best of luck though, I hope everything works out in your favor!