- Joined
- Sep 6, 2019
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- 818
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- Location
- Las Vegas (Nevada, United States)
- Sexuality
- 99% Gay, 1% Straight
- Gender
- Male
Hey LPSG fam!,
I've touched on the fact that my sexual trauma has influenced both my kinks and my taste in men on here before and I've generally gotten empathy or at least understanding from partners who I've gotten close enough to share that with in my personal life.
There's a guy I'm starting to get serious with, so we had a deep talk last night about our upbringings, families, experiences as gay men, etc, so I told him my sexual history. He was great about it and really receptive until I told him certain aspects of it aren't a source of pain and ptsd for me like most people reasonably have and that some of the more shocking parts were important to ME in MY sexual development, even though other people's feelings about it are valid as well.
Long story short (too late), he was upset about how I process MY sexual history and tried to guilt trip me into getting therapy because "only a disturbed person wouldn't see the issue here". Without revealing details that aren't allowed in public forum, he's not upset about who I am or how I live my life currently, he's upset that something that happened to me in my past wasn't addressed at that time, nor has it been addressed to an official capacity since because I don't really feel the value in doing so.
He was great UNTIL this conversation and from a certain viewpoint, I can see why he feels the way he feels because he thinks our connection isn't as genuine because he fulfills an archetype that I almost exclusively go for because of said history and that he's just a fetish for me (which is untrue; people typically go for looks and qualities they find attractive, that's human nature!).
We haven't talked much since I got home from his house last night. Is this something I should lean more into in terms of explaining my position (which I felt I did thoroughly) or is this never going to work because he'll probably have doubts I can't fix?
I've touched on the fact that my sexual trauma has influenced both my kinks and my taste in men on here before and I've generally gotten empathy or at least understanding from partners who I've gotten close enough to share that with in my personal life.
There's a guy I'm starting to get serious with, so we had a deep talk last night about our upbringings, families, experiences as gay men, etc, so I told him my sexual history. He was great about it and really receptive until I told him certain aspects of it aren't a source of pain and ptsd for me like most people reasonably have and that some of the more shocking parts were important to ME in MY sexual development, even though other people's feelings about it are valid as well.
Long story short (too late), he was upset about how I process MY sexual history and tried to guilt trip me into getting therapy because "only a disturbed person wouldn't see the issue here". Without revealing details that aren't allowed in public forum, he's not upset about who I am or how I live my life currently, he's upset that something that happened to me in my past wasn't addressed at that time, nor has it been addressed to an official capacity since because I don't really feel the value in doing so.
He was great UNTIL this conversation and from a certain viewpoint, I can see why he feels the way he feels because he thinks our connection isn't as genuine because he fulfills an archetype that I almost exclusively go for because of said history and that he's just a fetish for me (which is untrue; people typically go for looks and qualities they find attractive, that's human nature!).
We haven't talked much since I got home from his house last night. Is this something I should lean more into in terms of explaining my position (which I felt I did thoroughly) or is this never going to work because he'll probably have doubts I can't fix?