Love & Lust, Not Much Trust (Erotic Fiction)

SelfCtrlX

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Series - Pain Is The New Pleasure // Story - Love & Lust, Not Much Trust
This series & more available on my Patreon


About this story - Our main character finds desire in an encounter that leads to love, lust but is there trust? What is it between him and Raheim that pull them back to each other, after all the turmoil and toxic things that arise between them? Is it love, it it just love, how will the ups and downs of their relationship unfold? Can they gain each other's trust?

The story, names, and places are entirely fictional. All characters featured in the story are above 18. This story is only meant to be read by a mature audience, and in any case, by people over the age of 18.

Teaser / Part I

“I can’t wait to be inside you.”

And that was all he needed to say to me.

Immediately, I was turned on. I was too horny that all my clothes had to come off. I wished he was here.

I felt teased because what was I supposed to do since we couldn’t act on these feelings in this very moment. Raheim would always pop up out of nowhere to get some feeling out of me. Even when I thought I was over him. Even when I thought I moved on from him. There he was.

Was it how we met? Was it the dick? Was it how he fucked me? I could always recall moments with him in vivid detail, as if I transported back to the many times we met in hotel rooms or his bedroom or mine, out in public places, even at some bar. His dick felt like it belonged to me. It fit like I was the hole it meant to slide in. I couldn’t shake the thought.

Even when I thought about all that we been through, a part of me could feel like maybe I was in my head about things. Maybe I over reacted. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was. Years later we were still in this thing that had no name.

And his words pulled me back in and my body felt a need — wanting to be filled, not just by anybody but by him. It was where his dick belonged. My hands couldn’t help but to caress all over my chest and body and down to my dick which had a mind of its own, standing at attention.

My body needed attention.

Grabbing hold of my dick and stroking it felt good. It wasn’t enough but it would do for the moment. Pulling on my dick, moving around in the sheets, feeling my hole twitch wanting to be filled had me on edge. The anticipation was getting to me.

My eyes looked over, the realization of the 7 inch dildo in the corner gave me the idea that I could satisfy this need and bring my mind back to the reality that I was good on Raheim and I wouldn’t fall for the words he spoke so well to get me weak and on my knees or face down ass up or the many positions he’d have me. But I still didn’t know how to quit him.

“You made it,” his first words when I met him in person for the first time.

“I said I would,”

I felt the connection on first sight. He hadn’t even walk over to me fully yet all I could feel and see was chemistry. Months of conversations led up to this meeting. I felt his energy with just a look. A chemistry that matched every bit of conversation we’ve had through text and phone conversations.

He walked from a doorway behind the bar to greet me. I didn’t know what I expected but he pulled me into him with one arm, hugging me, I hugged back. I remember how good he smelled. “Taking my break now, you want a drink?”

“Whiskey and Ginger Ale,” I said, and Raheim told the bartender. The bartender made two drinks and placed them in front of us.

“These are on me,” he said as he grabbed the drinks and handed one to me. “Let me show you downstairs,”

And he led the way. We left the bar and headed into the doorway where he first entered which had stairs that led down. I remember there being a decent number of people down there, but it wasn’t as loud as upstairs.

He found us a space which felt like VIP, and we talked for a while and continued drinking. His eyes pierced into mine every moment I focused on him. I couldn’t shake the feeling of it being as if we knew each other for a long time, as we talked and drank together.

“You’re just like I imagined you'd be in person,” I said.

“Oh you’ve been thinking of me?” Raheim grinned.

“Obviously since we started talking. Now you have me out here in your city and we’re face to face.

Raheim moved closer. His lips pressing against mine. He caught me by surprise, but I waited for him to kiss me since he first walked over to me. “Now we’re face to face.” A smile came across his face as it did on mine.

I leaned back closer to kiss him again and he kissed me again. It was more intense. His hands pulled me in closer and we kept on kissing. I let his tongue invade my mouth as hands grabbed over my chest and mine felt over his abs.

He was such a good kisser, and I was lost in it. Maybe it was the drinks, but I disregarded that we weren’t alone, but we were to ourselves.

My hands caressed under his shirt touching his chest and abs until I moved them into his pants. I was ready for more of him, and I probably surprised him as I felt the hardness of his dick. He moaned into me as we continued making out.

“Damn,” he said, pulling away to look me in my eyes. And the look put me over the edge. It was like he dared me to take things further as his hands were already finding their way to caress one of my ass cheeks.

He leaned in against for one kiss then moved back to face me and did it again. I started feeling my way to unbutton his jeans to move what restricted me from pulling his dick out.

He placed his head on my shoulder as I pulled his dick out. “Keep it up and I’ll fuck you right here.”

It turned me on even more but also, I wondered but knew he didn’t know who he was talking to. I would show him. Challenge accepted. I’d let him fuck me right there.

I continued, stroking his dick, and kissing on him. I positioned myself to sit on his lap while facing him. “I’d let you,”

He grabbed onto me and flipped me over. Now on top of me he looked deep into my eyes. “I’m not playing either.” He said grinding his dick on me. I could feel how hard he was. It made me want it more. I could feel the grin on my face.

I was a second from pulling my pants off my ass when he pulled himself off, pulling me to my feet. He kissed my lips once more.

I had won the challenge. I had gone one above his suggestion. I wanted to see if he was bold enough to do it where he worked and even where we weren’t completely alone.

He didn’t say anything else, but I knew the spark between us had ignited to a point that we needed to do something about it and if we didn’t leave, we would have to do it right there.

For a second, I thought he had decided he would fuck me there as he led the way down the walkway away from everyone, but we eventually reached an exit and the cool breeze hit me when I stepped outside.

“You don’t know how bad I want —"

“Me too.” I spoke.

Raheim kissed on me again. Panting and almost out of breath he said, “You so fucking sexy. We need to leave right now.”

I couldn’t help but grin at the situation that presented itself. As much as I wanted him, he wanted me and what would transpire was up to me.

I felt myself kneel in front of him and I was pulling out his dick. Raheim didn’t stop me. Well, how could he? I had taken his dick in my mouth and started sucking on him. He moaned as his hands held my head guiding me down on his dick.

I wanted to tease him, but he went for it, putting his dick in my throat as he held my head and thrusted away. And I let him. Well, I didn't have much choice, or I did but I wanted him as he held my head and pushed me into him.

A moment passed before I took a break and looked up to see the pleasure on his face. If we didn’t stop, I would have let him nut in my throat or let him fuck me right there.

He adjusted his clothes and pulled me up into another kiss. “The ride is here.” Good thing because I was ready for more of him. He smacked my ass as he walked me over and it made me want him even more. He got the last point as we got in the Uber. I refrained from pulling his dick out in the car as we headed to my hotel since it was closer. The car ride didn’t stop me though from feeling on Raheim’s dick as my hands stayed in his lap over his pants.

Arriving made the anticipation go up as the elevator ride found us practically inseparable as his tongue invaded my mouth and his hands grabbed on my ass. My hands were in his pants, feeling on his dick. My body was ready to have him inside of me. We almost out of our clothes before I fully got the door opened and before I knew it he had lifted me up and threw me on the bed. His face went right to my hole, and I was overtaken by the pleasure of his tongue and lips, kissing and licking on me. I moaned and moved into it as the room spun and I fell under his control.

“Yesss daddy,” I stroked my dick as his tongue moved inside me. “So ready for you daddy,”

“You want this dick?”

“Fuck yes I do,”

He didn’t waste time strolling up to me, as he positioned himself on top of me, his face right above me and my eyes gazing into him, felt like they could show how ready I was for him. I felt his dick In between my ass as he moved into me. Another kiss. His tongue slipped into my mouth. The only thing controlling me from moaning loudly as his dick found its place as began to enter where it was welcomed.

“Ooo fuck,” I moaned.

“You like that?” He began kissing my neck and sliding further into me.

“Yes, fuck me.”

The words rolled out of my mouth, and it was like the magic word that made me his and gave him all the permission to do exactly that because I wanted it and he wanted it too.

He fucked me, sliding in and out of me and giving me everything my body desired. He felt so good. He made me feel so good. I wanted more. I wanted him deeper, and I felt me pulling him down into me as he kissed my neck.

He came up and his lips met mine and the passion continued. I was his. I knew it. He slid deeper and deeper and both of our bodies moved together as one in the same rhythm. I moved my ass on his dick as he thrusted his dick in and out.

“This what you wanted?”

“Yes,”

“This shit is mine right?”

“Yes give me that dick,”

And he gave it to me, and I could feel the pleasure take over. I loved him. I couldn’t stop the feeling. The way we moved drove me deeper as he hit places inside of me that hadn’t been hit before. This feeling, I never felt before.

“I’m about to cum,”

Our bodies tighten and I held his body in me as I pushed my ass into him. I felt the sensation of his final thrust as he started to cum.

“Yes, cum inside,”

He thrust again into me as he flooded my insides. I kept my hands pushing him into me. I wanted it all. I didn’t want it to end. I wanted him to stay inside.

His body fell into mine and we laid there intertwined.

[TO BE CONTINUED]

Next Part Available Now on Patreon

Author's notes: The idea is this short story will be a stand alone in a series of different erotic stories. There won't be chapters unless the story takes off in a direction of its own and I am inspired to continued but I am breaking the entire short story up but each short story is written to be up the equivalent of 6-8 Chapters, 12,000-15000 words or 40+ pages.
 

SelfCtrlX

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Series - Pain Is The New Pleasure // Story - Love & Lust, Not Much Trust
This series & more available on my Patreon


About this story - Our main character finds desire in an encounter that leads to love, lust but is there trust? What is it between him and Raheim that pull them back to each other, after all the turmoil and toxic things that arise between them? Is it love, it it just love, how will the ups and downs of their relationship unfold? Can they gain each other's trust?

Part I (cont.)

That was the start of our situationship. Even now, I refrained from calling it a relationship. It felt as though there were moments we were on and moments when we were off. And we were on, it was a whirlwind of emotions and passion as if he had lit my soul on fire. At times I could see it for us, even guarding myself from him but the possibility of him being the one came at first meeting and then every time he came around.

We stayed intertwined after the first time. Raheim remained inside of me and held me as if we were meant to be this close, if not closer. We dosed off into the night just as we were. I couldn’t tell how time moved but hours or just a moment later, he caressed my body as we were in each other’s arms. His lips began kissing over me and I couldn’t help but to awaken from the sleep that I felt I had but it could’ve just been a moment. I couldn’t tell how much time had passed but it was still night. I felt good. He felt good. And the moment felt good.

I could have tried to play it off and act like I was sleep but the mood had returned. The realization that I wanted more him came and I moved slightly, turning my head for him to move to my face till he was kissing my lips. I kissed back.

I could feel his dick get hard inside of me as we both moved our bodies into each other.

And there was Round 2.

We couldn’t separate ourselves from each other.

Raheim’s thrusting picked up and he was again pounding into me.

“Fuck,”

“Cant get enough of you,” he said as his face fell next to mine. He continued pounding into me and the intensity almost became too much.

But I wanted more.

Raheim flipped me over and entered me again and again we were close as his chest pressed against my back and he wrapped his arms around me pulling me closer as he thrusted deeper and deeper into me.

I could tell it was his favorite place. He wouldn’t let me go and I didn’t want him to. I fell into the bed leaving my ass in the air as Raheim held it and pushed his dick in and out of me. There was only pleasure.

How could we be in and out of limbo? —without each other, going from talking to not talking, seeing each other like this, at our most vulnerable and then acting as if we were strangers?

That was a question I always wondered but then he’d return, and it would be like no time existed in between and we were never apart. How could I let myself fall into him again.

Only the walls in this room, the sheets I laid in understood what I was feeling as my naked body moved in between the sheets wishing he was here to push me through the mattress as he would fuck me so good, I’d feel as though we’d go through the bed. Not to mention the frames we had broken when he would fuck me.

I had to get it together. That wouldn’t come until I had — well cum. Once the cum came out of me, my senses would return but the cycle of the game we were in continued.

Raheim said he was coming to see me. It was after plans of me going to see him continued to be cancelled, pushed back, or changed. I finally made up my mind that if we were to see other, it would be him coming to me. It was annoying the thought of him moving didn’t turn into him moving where I was but another city, further away, on the opposite coast. I couldn’t complain though, work brought him to Los Angeles and my work had me between New York and Atlanta. But now he said he was coming. I had to leave it on him.

The back and forth between us never ended. The sexual tension between us would never go away. Even when I let the universe decide if we were done, he would show the effort I waited for and I couldn’t deny that I wanted him anymore. But only a few days until he was in front of me but ultimately inside of me. My body knew and it couldn’t deny it at all.

Even the fights.

“So, you’re really going to walk like you’re not with me?” I spoke.

Of course, there was no response. Raheim walked ahead of me and too fast that I got to the point of why would I even try to catch up to him. In my mind it was like why try to catch up, when he was walking towards my place. He’d then have to wait for me.

Where are you going? Nowhere. Exactly.

It pissed me off.

After a great night, meeting his friends, drinking, singing at karaoke, dinner and seeming to have hit it off with his friends, I thought I had passed some sort of test but his signals I couldn’t read. Did I do something wrong?

He didn’t speak to me when we made it back to my hotel room. I didn’t understand this energy. For all of that he didn’t have to come back with me or stay in my hotel room. He could’ve gone back to his place, but he was here, giving me the cold shoulder.

“You good?” I asked,

“Yeah. just going to get some sleep,”

“Cool,”

I could be just as cold. I could match his energy and it would be worst. If I wasn’t in his city or knew more of DC, I would be out. I stepped out on the balcony for a smoke while he slept in my bed. I almost wanted to tell him to get the fuck out but a part of me said this had nothing to do with me. Would I have really wanted to see him leave?

Thoughts would overtake the drunken night and the high that I found myself in, while out on the balcony. I was leaving the next day anyway.

I finally went inside at some point in got in my bed. Sleeping as far apart from Raheim as I could. But I would awake in his arms, with him holding me close. It was like whatever tension came last night didn’t happen or matter. I could feel his dick hard as he held me, grinding it into me, I had to be strong and not move but the more he moved and the more his dick jumped against me, the more I wanted it. With him sleeping naked, it didn’t help. Only thing separating it from me was my underwear and all it too was for him to slide them off me.

How could I stay mad when his dick was rubbing against me. Even when I couldn’t help but want him inside of me after the day we had before it went off the rails. It turned me on how his body controlled me. Pulling my underwear down and slapping his dick on my ass as he moved my hole into position. I moved into it, ready for his dick to slide in.

He found himself inside me slowly as he held me from the side, opening me up to get me ready for the real fucking. It took a few moments before he pushed his body on top of me and turned me on my stomach. I pushed my ass up and let him continue inside of me.

“Shut up and take that dick,” Raheim said as I started to moan loudly.

I couldn’t tell if this was an angry fuck, make up sex or the usual but I tried to control my moaning just a bit as he gripped my waist and continued sliding his dick and out of me.

“Yes daddy,” He knew how to handle me and the pleasure from him removed any feeling of tension between us. But tension would continue to find its way between us.

In my sheets, alone, thinking about him, I wouldn’t let him know how bad I had it for him. I had nonchalantly accepted his plans to visit. I gave options before suggesting him to stay with me and I half expected to keep my hands off of him and to make sure I wouldn’t let him have his hands all over me. I needed to figure out where we were currently, since it had been months, almost a year of not seeing each other.

Time really seemed to fly by and the question continued to pop in my head, wondering what we were doing.

I let the frustration take over for a moment as I laid still, naked in the sheets, dick hard, wanting to cum but the frequent nights of this didn’t make up for how Raheim would do me. I opted not to release but to save it for him — even though I had set in my mind not to give in to him.

Could I resist?

[TO BE CONTINUED]

Next Part Available Now on Patreon


How will Raheim's visit affect their dynamic? Will it be a reminder of the chaos and tension they've been through or will it bring them to something different? The tug of war, pull between love and lust but is there more to it?
 

SelfCtrlX

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Part II

The day of, the anticipation had built so much that I needed to occupy my time or distract myself but all I found myself doing was making sure everything was in place for him. I constantly thought of all the places where sex could take place.

He walks in the door and before we could say anything our lips meet, his tongue find itself inside me, I’m pulling off his clothes as his bags hit the floor and there’s time for anything but for him to fuck me against the wall, right in the doorway.

Was I nervous?

I laughed at the possibility, but I could really see us going at it any room in my place. On top of that, he had never been in this space before, so it all felt new. Our history held something I couldn’t put my finger on but this time it was his move.

Every thought of how our first interaction would go out the window when Raheim finally arrived. Mainly because of the long trip and delayed flights and changes. He seemed visibly annoyed as he rolled his suitcase in.

“I almost thought you was playing, saying you were coming,” I said, half-jokingly.

“Why would I play? You know I wanted to see you. You know I missed when we…” Raheim said as he grabbed my ass. I didn’t want to fall for it but damn I knew exactly what he meant.

“Just saying all the cancelled plans. Didn’t know what to believe.”

“Well believe it now,” he said, finally walking pass his luggage and over to me. His lips pressed against mine I couldn’t fight or argue with him. Like usual, it was almost as if no time had passed, and we hadn’t gone so long without being around each other.

I had to get us back on the topic at hand and not immediately ripping his clothes off. We parted from the kiss. “Let me show you my spot,”

“I was going to say but when you feel this good, we could fuck here against this wall,”

I had to resist.

“There’s plenty of time for that.” I said but I couldn’t help but think of how us being this close would go. We were like magnets. I could imagine all the sex we were about to have if I gave in. Raheim would have me like that. Like a spell that I couldn’t get out of, but a year had almost passed, and I had managed without him. “So, update me on things,” I said after showing him around, even going in my bedroom, took a lot to not want him to throw me on the bed and tear my clothes off.

“You know, things are going well. Opened another location in Los Angeles, and there be an opportunity here for a new location.”

“Cool. Congrats, that’s dope.” I said and couldn’t help but wondering if that’s what brought him here.

“We’ll see what happens, who knows, How’s things with you?”

“Its been pretty busy, new projects, new clients. Can’t go into detail but when you see this upcoming campaign, it’s fire.”

“That’s what’s up,”

There was a moment of things feeling off, but I had to remind myself of how I was trying to resist him. Was it making things weird?

“Before we get settled, Where’s the shower?” Raheim asked,

I directed him through my bedroom to the connecting bathroom. He wasted no time pulling his clothes off and walking in the bathroom butt naked. If there was any resistance left in me, it was gone as I stared at his muscular body. It had been a while since I saw him in person and I was actually surprised, not like I had never seen his physique before, but it was like it was new to me. He was toned, slightly more defined than I remembered and his dick, not even hard, was long and it took everything to not go suck it.

“How do you turn it on?”

I was already turned on.

Wait — he meant the shower.

Anything to get me close. Raheim knew what he was doing. I walked closer. “Yeah, just turn the…” I tried not to get flustered, but I took a good look at him and had to bite my lips and just take in the view. “Yeah, now all the way is for it to be hotter.”

“Ok, I see. and this set up in here is cool. Can’t wait to fuck you in that tub though,” Raheim stepped out of the shower catching me, still looking at how good he looked standing there. I could hear myself telling me to join him. His words reminded me of our trip to Las Vegas, particularly the suite we had that had to jacuzzi tub and the shower and everything in the room was either glass or mirrors.

“You know we have to make the show right?” he said.

“Yeah, but all that walking on the strip, I just had to hop in here real quick,” From what I remembered, drinks never stopped flowing. I don’t even remember what we ate. But I wanted to try out the jacuzzi, so I sat in there while the jets were going, probably with a drink. Raheim was getting ready for us to go back out. “We have time,” I said.

Somewhere between relaxing but also drinking and vibing to the music, I remember Raheim had come to get me out. But of course, I managed to pull him in, with his clothes still on. I couldn’t help but laugh and suddenly we were playing in the jacuzzi.

“Oh, you want to play?” Raheim said.

I laughed at him, and his clothes being wet and he got close. He took off his shirt and pulled down his shorts letting his dick out. He began smacking his dick in my face and once that thing was in my face, it was in my mouth and I was sucking him without a second thought.

“Can’t laugh now,” Raheim taunted me as I continued sucking and he pushed further inside me. “Yeah suck that dick,”

I sucked like it was all I knew. Moving closer to him as he pushed himself inside.

“Damn, babe.”

I released his dick from my mouth, holding it as I smacked it on my face, licking it, as it smacked my tongue.

“Thought we didn’t have time?” I said before taking him back in my mouth. He belonged to me now.

“Fuck,” that was all he could say. “Let me…” He pulled out of my mouth, taking a second to collect himself. “Turn around and let me see that ass,”

I moved around to let my ass float on the water as he grabbed and smacked it. I loved when he did that.

“Want me to fuck you?”

“Yes, fuck me,”

He positioned himself behind me and began to find his way to my hole as I held on to the edge of the tub. He felt good. The way he handled me felt good. Once he slid inside, I started to moan.

“Damn, that dick big,”

“And you like this big dick,” he began pushing it in slightly faster as he pulled it out and then went back in.

“I love that dick,” I responded.

He was in deep. He started thrusting back and forth, hitting the right spots. Water splashed all around us and on the floor and all I could do was moan and hold on to the tub.

“Yes, Fuck yes,” I moaned.

And he continued fucking me.

My bathroom reminded me of that moment with the large tub and shower. I had pictured Raheim fucking me many times since moving here. And now he was in front of me, in my shower with the glass separating us but my eyes fixated on how good his body looked with the water running down.

Another moment of watching, I would have had to join him, but I let him shower and went back in my bedroom, laying across the bed as the TV was on but background noise. I was listening to the water running and picturing Raheim’s body dripping wet.

I still had it bad for him.

He entered the room naked, having finished showering and drying off, and found space next to me in bed, wrapping his arms around me, it felt familiar. He just fit, like he belonged.

“What are you watching?”

I wasn’t really watching but the TV was on. I hadn’t really paid attention, but I mention what was on. We laid there together, him naked and me with basketball shorts and a tank top. It felt nice to just lay for a moment, but I knew, I could pull off my clothes and have him inside of me. On the other hand, with him naked, our cuddling would always lead to him inside of me as well. Either way... I'd get what I wanted.

[TO BE CONTINUED]

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Next Part Available Now on Patreon


The tug of war, pull between love and lust continues, but is there more to it?