Men not hitting women

[Doranq]

Do you think it is sexist for a man who would normally retaliate by striking a man in a variety of situations but would refuse to strike a woman in a number of the same situations be considered sexist?

Do you yourself hold this belief?

Would you think less of him as a person? (if you do find it sexist)Would you think of him sexist in the way you would a man normally and want to disassociate yourself with this sexist man?

Could you date or be with a man that held these beliefs?

More importantly do you think that kind of sexism is even worth squashing? Correcting men who hold this sexism and/or raising boys and making sure they don't have this idea in their head

Just to clarify I don't mean he'd refuse to hit a woman in a life or death scenario.
I've posted my position on hitting women, i won't hit women, it in the past but just curious how women look at as my beliefs are not the only ones or the only right one. I only ask because I'm just curious what you all think. Spurred by some guys saying I was which made me wonder what other people thing. I'm not changing it about myself but still curious. I'll post it on both

 

[LaFemme]

It’s not sexist. It is wrong to hit someone period. It is even more so to strike someone (even in self-defence or retaliation) when they are physically weaker. Unless your life is in danger, don’t hit a woman, child or even an animal. Unfortunately, even small men tend to be stronger than most women. Is that sexist? No, it’s biology. It’s testosterone. Unless you find yourself fighting off Rhonda Rousey in a bar fight, keep your fists to yourself.

Hitting is stupid. So is this question.

 

[LaFemme]

And another thing. I hear the “sexist” excuse in domestics all the time. If women want to be equal, then when she throws the first punch, I’ll take her down like a man. “She started it.” Well, fuck that shit. I’ve seen the women “who started it”. Beat to hell and looking like hamburger while Mr. Equal Rights has a scratch on his arm that he nurtures like a knife wound. That is not equality. That is a coward with greater physical power beating on the weak. A man does NOT pervert equality that way. Violence is not a level playing field in the physical realm.

 

[deleted924715]

I agree with LaFemme for the most part.

What I taught my son: You never lash out in anger. Never start a physical fight with anyone BUT you have the right to defend yourself because nobody has the right to lay hands on you. If a woman hits you, walk away. If she persists restrain her from hitting you further. If ANYONE means you serious harm and it's you or them, do whatever the hell you have to do.

What I tell myself: if I go at a man like I am a man, I can expect to get hit back like I am a man. I don't know how that man was raised and if I hit someone out of temper then rely on their morals to restrain them from retaliating... well, that's a risk I'm not going to take no matter how much I might feel I was provoked.

OP, I have to admit I'm disappointed you asked this. This question always has an agenda behind it.

 

[MickeyLee]

It's frightening that some men see equality for women as an opening to hit women. "it would be sexist if I didn't punch a woman. hurk, hurk, hurk"
*head desk*

Everything Ms. Femme said. Cuz she said it well.

 

[Doranq]

I agree with LaFemme for the most part.

What I taught my son: You never lash out in anger. Never start a physical fight with anyone BUT you have the right to defend yourself because nobody has the right to lay hands on you. If a woman hits you, walk away. If she persists restrain her from hitting you further. If ANYONE means you serious harm and it's you or them, do whatever the hell you have to do.

What I tell myself: if I go at a man like I am a man, I can expect to get hit back like I am a man. I don't know how that man was raised and if I hit someone out of temper then rely on their morals to restrain them from retaliating... well, that's a risk I'm not going to take no matter how much I might feel I was provoked.

OP, I have to admit I'm disappointed you asked this. This question always has an agenda behind it.

It doesn't have an agenda behind it. Numerous times in my post history here I've always stuck by not hitting women, disliking the very thought of harming them, and judging the fuck out of men that do. I do not condone that behavior nor have I ever given an inkling of indication of doing so in the almost 6yrs of coming to this site. Any physical harm dealt to women, I feel funny about, like more sensitive and it makes me feel .. I'm not sure sick is the right word but I not so good feeling in the stomach. Which probably stems from my mom being abused by my biological.

The post was brought on by a reddit post where I responded to someone that said they got raped by their wife where another user said something along the lines of men can't really get raped let alone overpowered.


(this is a highly condensed version I'm giving here)to where I said they can and that women can be stronger than them like myself for example am probably weaker than a good number of women, a lot of people don't want to harm their SO which might make fending off unwanted advances emotionally/mentally difficult, in addition some men like myself have a very strong aversion to hurting a woman. Which in context sometimes you might need to use harmful force even if you are weaker and due to the combination of having and aversion and them being someone you feel so strongly about may make it much more difficult to stopping her. In addition there's a myriad of ways to subdue your partner if you were to try to rape them. To which from there I was criticized for my refusal to hit women which spurred the question since this is not the first time I've encountered this criticism. Both males and females have criticized me on this point before, mostly males. It does not mean I feel unsure in my morale beliefs because I do not. They are completely rock solid. However as to why or how someone came to believe that can be interesting as well as those who have dealt with these mentalities.

I'm from the US, I live in a small town. What's the agreed upon idea on hitting women is not going to be the same everywhere. In every household. Some cultures are really damn different. This is an international board. Some people grow up in bad places and have unique views that others don't whether they are for or against men hitting women just as they would men. Some just have different takes. On top of that there's the broader topic of domestic abuse amongst other things that the thread could steer towards.

So there was no nasty agenda. The motive was just getting more perspectives and maybe an interesting conversation would come of it. That's the full context. I'm fine with people thinking the post is stupid, but I'm not fine with people thinking this post is some support post for men to hit women. The first is opinion the later is just false.

I hope that clears it up.

 

[918177]

My take is very simple.

If I hit someone I expect to be hit back.

I don't expect the fact I'm female to restrain anyone from payback.

If I'm the aggressed I don't expect that they'll show restraint because I'm a female.
If they're aggressing then they all ready know I'm female and have made the choice already.

I don't expect bystanders to put down their phones, stop filming and be a white knight if it's in a public location.

 

[Doranq]

My take is very simple.

If I hit someone I expect to be hit back.

I don't expect the fact I'm female to restrain anyone from payback.

If I'm the aggressed I don't expect that they'll show restraint because I'm a female.
If they're aggressing then they all ready know I'm female and have made the choice already.

I don't expect bystanders to put down their phones, stop filming and be a white knight if it's in a public location.

I really hate that stand around and record stuff. Like I mean it's good in that 'evidence' but it's bad in like "none of you 40 fucks could do anything to stop that scenario?" I just wonder what's the thought behind it or the upbringing that leads to that. I get no one stops police or w/e because legit virtually no win scenario for any parties. Bulllies, purse snatches, abductions, fights, health problems (though at least here people are more likely to help) ,etc.

I'm not old so I wasn't around before cellphones at least when I got to like 10yrs old so maybe people did that in the past minus the phones but man that's just gaaah.

Interesting you brought that up though. Is there anything that specifically brought that to mind?

 

[918177]

I really hate that stand around and record stuff. Like I mean it's good in that 'evidence' but it's bad in like "none of you 40 fucks could do anything to stop that scenario?" I just wonder what's the thought behind it or the upbringing that leads to that. I get no one stops police or w/e because legit virtually no win scenario for any parties. Bulllies, purse snatches, abductions, fights, health problems (though at least here people are more likely to help) ,etc.

I'm not old so I wasn't around before cellphones at least when I got to like 10yrs old so maybe people did that in the past minus the phones but man that's just gaaah.

Interesting you brought that up though. Is there anything that specifically brought that to mind?

You see it far too often on social media....gormless, self centered mouth breathers more interested in posting "drama" on their fb page for likes than to see the victim as a human being in need of help.

 

[286798]

I think if you throw the first punch, you lose. Period. I would have a hard time dating/being with a man who started a fight.

Gotta say that I've never really given a thought to how not hitting a woman back could be sexist. Interesting concept.

 

[693987]

I don't expect anyone to just stand there and take it if someone else is the aggressor and attacking them. I do think physically removing yourself/escaping the situation if possible or restraining the person if you can are behaviors that I can respect. Anyone being the aggressor and laying hands on someone? No.

If you cannot do either and the person or people persist in attacking... incapacitate them, defend yourself, do what you need to do to survive. No matter what the gender is of the individuals involved.

People hitting people, resorting to physical attacks (outside of sports where you are hitting people like boxing, martial arts, sparring, etc) is not behavior I'm okay with, no matter what gender anyone is. People have words. People can walk away. People can do a huge variety of things other than putting hands on someone else in an aggressive manner.