My deepest sympathies, my friend. As someone who has watched so many beloved kitties cross the Rainbow Bridge throughout my five decades of life, I understand the pain and would have given anything to spend even one more minute with each and every one of them.
Even two years on, my heart feels still feels heavy whenever I catch myself glancing at my little girl's box of ashes on the shelf and I still have a hard time accepting she is no longer there to lay on my chest when I'm in bed or on the couch or sitting faithful on my desk when I'm on the computer, something only she ever did. But in a way, it's only made me appreciate and want to love my current three furkids even more.
While the scar may be always be there, at least the wound heals over time and while I may not be able to bring myself to believe in any sort of higher power, afterlife or eternal reward; but if I'm wrong, I definitely believe if anyone deserves it, it's those precious, furry companions that we welcome into our lives, even knowing their time is finite with us and we will someday have to face the pain of saying goodbye. In the end, it's totally worth it.