Negging

[6026411]

Negging is associated with flirting. The person gives you a back-handed compliment so that you seek their approval. Bit odd for mom to be flirting with you, but hey, it's 2020.
Nagging is not the same thing as negging.

Negging by a mother is an art form, and different from just nagging because it's more manipulative and sucks you into trying to gain their approval.

"Your hair is really nice but maybe you could do something more with it."
Get haircut.
"Your hair is really nice but it could be better if it were longer, or maybe a different color."
Get highlights.
"Your hair is really nice but it's too bad the highlights are blonde and not red."
Have hair recolored auburn.
"Your hair color is really nice but maybe you should think about a perm to make it more curly."
Give up and shave head.
"Your scalp is clean, but if you eat that sandwich you're not going to fit into your clothes."

 

[deleted924715]

My friend was negged in a bar one time. She came back with our drinks and told me how this guy had said she'd be really pretty if her eyebrows weren't so weird. She is the sweetest person you ever met and the thought of someone deliberately trying to undermine her confidence infuriated me. I dragged her around that bar for 15 minutes "was it him? Was it him? What about this guy?"

I was absolutely going to expose him at the top of my voice. She said she couldn't see him and he must've left. I have my doubts.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I get negged/nagged over my use of adult language.

Fuck if I care.

 

[twoton]

What the hell’s negging?

 

[LaFemme]

What the hell’s negging?

A backhanded compliment. In this case, a man subtly puts down a woman. She (with her shaky esteem) thinks - he really sees me! In that moment her panties puddle around her ankles and she’s all his. Negging.

 

[twoton]

A backhanded compliment. In this case, a man subtly puts down a woman. She (with her shaky esteem) thinks - he really sees me! In that moment her panties puddle around her ankles and she’s all his. Negging.

hmmm....so it works, eh?

 

[LaFemme]

hmmm....so it works, eh?

It can work on the insecure. Doesn’t work at all on a secure confident woman.

 

[Mule]

hmmm....so it works, eh?

It does work, but only on people that need some serious help with their self-esteem. The heartless, selfish douchebags that use it as a tactic for bedding women should be ashamed of themselves.

 

[Serial Kisser]

What the hell’s negging?

"You know, I've slept with all kinds of models and hot women, but you I like for your personality"
-- Thanks buddy

 

[deleted936015]

"You know, I've slept with all kinds of models and hot women, but you I like for your personality"
-- Thanks buddy

Clearly said by a liar

 

[Topher90]

Negging has probably been around since the stone age, but it's still trending harder than ever in the PUA, r/seduction and incel communities
Women need to recognize and shut this shit down immediately
What are some memorable examples of negs you've received?

Some of my favourites:

"You're actually a lot smarter than you look" (gee, thanks)

"You'd be really hot if you had boobs" (from several men, including exes)

"You have good calves.. is it because you're short and wear heels all the time?"

"I'm usually into tall, busty redheads" (zero out of three, thx)​

From my mom, Grand Master of Negging, when I said I didn't feel like bacon and eggs for breakfast:

"You know if you ate more real food you wouldn't have to wear a push-up bra all the time"
​

..another of her favourites:

"Most girls your age are married by now"​

Thanks, mom

Those all sound pretty irrelevant imo you're fucking smoking to me!!

 

[nailz]

On their own they can be pretty irrelevant (or not.. some of those hurt). I'm sure everyone has inadvertently negged someone and not even realized it.

But as part of a campaign to break down someone's self-esteem or confidence by a manipulative person they can be damaging to anyone, not just "vulnerable people with low self-esteem".

 

[6inchcock]

I get negged/nagged over my use of adult language.

Fuck if I care.

Fuck that I have had advanced training on adult language and I say your in the top tier with the very best.

 

[6inchcock]

It's fucking childish at its most base level. Males start doing this shit to each other from day one along with dick measuring. This is just a variation of the same old shit with a new name attached to it.

Moms are just moms. They usually get their borderline insanity from having to deal with people they are married to...like me.

 

[Mule]

But as part of a campaign to break down someone's self-esteem or confidence by a manipulative person they can be damaging to anyone, not just "vulnerable people with low self-esteem".

Agreed that it can be psychologically harmful to anyone. My post and LaFemme's post (which were spookily posted at the same time) were specifically talking about it working, as in, getting someone to sleep with the negging scumbag. That process relies on a compromised (or never fully constructed) self-concept, then taking it lower.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I really can't recall being negged by a man, and if it happened I clearly wasn't paying attention.

Other than "you'd be so much more attractive if you wore women's clothes", which I've been told by men And women (women who were *not* my mom) I don't recall hearing anything of a negging nature.

Or like I mentioned, my language. "You kiss your mom with that mouth?" "What kind of lady talks like that?" Again, both men and women have told me this. Fuck that shit, I am an adult and I'll speak like a fucking sailor if I so please.

People that try to manipulate with this behavior? Come at me dawg. Wanna throw insults? I'll take the fucking gold.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Forgot to mention.. I still wear men's clothes at least 60% of the time. Do not care if I'd be "more attractive" if I dressed in whatever way. I'm comfortable.

Like I said in the other thread, my comfort matters way more to me than what randoms on the street/online think of the way I look.

 

[286798]

I was told I looked sturdy.

Ouch.

I’m never quite sure if something is negging, a straight up insult, or that I’ve challenged their preconceived notions about me/exceeded their expectations. The first two suck, but I kinda dig the last ones.

Examples:

• On a first date from a dating app, I almost invariably hear "you're SO much prettier in person." Could it be negging? Or is it that I've picked photos that show my personality/hobbies and not just ones to grab male attention? Yeah, considering how often I hear it, it's gotta be the latter... they can't all be PUA dudes.

• "When I first met you, I thought you would be boring and uptight in bed. Holy fuck, am I glad I was wrong! Your blowjobs are legendary!" Negging or not? I think if it were from a guy who WANTED me to look like a trollop, maybe it would be negging. But since it was from guys who liked that I look and act like a proper lady in public but am uninhibited behind closed doors, I think its a compliment on my talents.

I think there are guys who use negging on insecure OR competitive women with good results. Like a guy saying "i bet you don't give good head"... could get an insecure woman to try, and might make a competitive woman pull her hair in a ponytail & say "boy, get ready to see stars".

Most of my experiences are the "you're a lot stronger than you look" (exceed expectations) vs "you're strong for a girl" (idiot), though.

 

[Enid]

On their own they can be pretty irrelevant (or not.. some of those hurt). I'm sure everyone has inadvertently negged someone and not even realized it.

But as part of a campaign to break down someone's self-esteem or confidence by a manipulative person they can be damaging to anyone, not just "vulnerable people with low self-esteem".

If your self esteem is secure and self-contained, there's very little that someone could do to shake it by using obviously manipulative tactics designed to bring a person down a peg. When the self esteem is higher or more stable, there's a decreased need for acceptance.

Personally, I can spot those feckless fuckers a mile away and steer clear of such trickery.

 

[4388301]

I was told I had manly legs while doing leg presses (back when I exclusively identified as female to match the whole uterus/ovaries/etc thing). Okie. Sure. All the better to kick your fool ass away from me?