I agree.....this guy is giving you multiple "signs" that he is open to something happening.....washing his cock and foreskin in front of you for the first time is NOT by accident......time for you to be more direct. Be confident.....nothing tried, nothing gained.......I also like the idea from Johnny Mission above......go ahead and let yourself get hard where he can see your hardon......if you get a positive reaction, then there's your answer........good luck!!
"reading" My Sauna/gym Shower Buddy (advice?)
- Thread starter Saint Raphael
- Start date
This is kinda cute. Gonna start watching this thread to see what happens.
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Update guys:
I asked the circumcision question in the sauna and he answered, but in a very cerebral, med school student kind of way lol. Of course, I was hopeful that he would talk about his own status and mine, but nope! He was sitting with his legs open so I could see his entire package as usual, but interestingly when he started talking, he put his hands between his legs and closed them lol. Maybe some awkward unconscious reaction...
We discussed it for a while, but in sum he just said there isn't enough research out there for us to conclude one way or another, but he does think it's a positive procedure in countries with higher rates of HIV but unnecessary in countries where that isn't as big a problem.
When we got to the shower, I paid a compliment to his body and asked for tips on how I could get my V to look like his. He then spewed off a list of exercises I could do. Again, I was kinda hoping for a "Yours already looks good," but...nope!
So I'm at a deadlock at present. He was pleasant, receptive, and very engaged with both questions, but didn't give any responses that would lead me down the road I hope to go.
DEEP SIGH! I think I'll just carry on as usual for now, but I'll be more attentive to pouncing if he gives me something to work with.
Thanks a ton for everyone's encouragement!
I asked the circumcision question in the sauna and he answered, but in a very cerebral, med school student kind of way lol. Of course, I was hopeful that he would talk about his own status and mine, but nope! He was sitting with his legs open so I could see his entire package as usual, but interestingly when he started talking, he put his hands between his legs and closed them lol. Maybe some awkward unconscious reaction...
We discussed it for a while, but in sum he just said there isn't enough research out there for us to conclude one way or another, but he does think it's a positive procedure in countries with higher rates of HIV but unnecessary in countries where that isn't as big a problem.
When we got to the shower, I paid a compliment to his body and asked for tips on how I could get my V to look like his. He then spewed off a list of exercises I could do. Again, I was kinda hoping for a "Yours already looks good," but...nope!
So I'm at a deadlock at present. He was pleasant, receptive, and very engaged with both questions, but didn't give any responses that would lead me down the road I hope to go.
DEEP SIGH! I think I'll just carry on as usual for now, but I'll be more attentive to pouncing if he gives me something to work with.
Thanks a ton for everyone's encouragement!
next time you are in the shower -- just soap up your groin area a bit more vigourouly. Also when you are in the sauna, talking about trivial things, ask if he has a wife and kids...that's a very general question most people ask.
I agree with this.......let him see you washing (and pulling and slightly stroking) your own cock.....and let him see you start to get hard.....see what he does then!! He'll either start touching himself or turn and walk away. If he says anything negative, just apologize and say the shower felt good after your workout and you just started to get hard. It happens!! Go for it!!
I somewhat disagree with the post above. He may only be in the "friendship zone" but if he was ever interested (even slightly) in more, he still may be.
Just say to him that you have been turned on by seeing him doing these things and then ask if he has ever been interested in another man. For pity's sake, you ain't in junior high school any more! You need to make some move or go to another gym and start over.
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I think you should ask him if he’d be interested in going out for a coffee after the gym or sometime. Then if you go, you can just talk and after some general chitchat you should have feel for how it is going. Let him know you really enjoy your sauna chats. See what he says. Then I,d be honest and let him know you are gay or bi and say you hope that does not upset him as you value the friendship but felt you wanted to be honest. Then you will kno if this will go further by his reaction. Just be prepared he may be straight 8 and get up and leave. I hope it does work out for you but just going on and on wanting this guy without knowing is not doing you any good. Fingers crossed for your good luck!
OMG. What a stupid thing to discuss together. Next time, ask him about the vaccinations in Africa, it's such an hot topic
Now, I suggest you to invite you in your house to watch together something, possibly a sport event, as you have to project the imagine of an athlete.
So, the idea is to watch a sport event together (something that you like first, if there is nothing a TV show or a series would be OK). Your house will be perfectly cleaned and tidied up, he is studying medicine so he has a certain idea of himself five years from now, and it does not include living in an house with a pair of used jockstrap on view
Also, you will provide some healthy food, no comfort food, no junk food, but also some beer or wine.
You will be dressed nicely, could be a bit on the informal side, but not as if you're going to the gym.
After the TV show, you'll start your show. Remember that at the end of this, either you've fucked him, you are only friends or he decides to cut you off. So, play accordingly.
You'll say something about his body and his diet, like you like his torso, he has very good abs, that you like something of him and you want to have the same. Don't be a sissy saying that you don't like something of you. Then you say that you'd like to see those specific muscles of him, there is a good light and it's better than in the gym. Make a connection with what happens in the gym, so if he is embarrassed tell him that you've been naked many times together, you are between men and there is nothing to be ashamed of. The goal is to have him shirtless, and you should be shirtless too, maybe saying something like his abs are better than yours, or your legs are better than his, the more you are undressed the better.
At this point, if he is gay he will got the bait, but it's possible that he is embarrassed, confused or that he is a straight man, so after some reciprocal checking out, you should say something like 'OK, my whatever is bigger than your whatever, but your dick is bigger'. If he is surprised, tell him there is nothing to be ashamed of, you've been often in the shower together, why don't you check this out? If he is doubtful, insist on the men being men thing, and once he takes his dick out, as soon as one of you starts having an hard on, say that this is a better way to compare, go on your knees and start sucking him, as he could be a straight curious man and you have to provide a comfortable setting for him.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the literal worst way to go about this.OMG. What a stupid thing to discuss together. Next time, ask him about the vaccinations in Africa, it's such an hot topic
Now, I suggest you to invite you in your house to watch together something, possibly a sport event, as you have to project the imagine of an athlete.
So, the idea is to watch a sport event together (something that you like first, if there is nothing a TV show or a series would be OK). Your house will be perfectly cleaned and tidied up, he is studying medicine so he has a certain idea of himself five years from now, and it does not include living in an house with a pair of used jockstrap on view
Also, you will provide some healthy food, no comfort food, no junk food, but also some beer or wine.
You will be dressed nicely, could be a bit on the informal side, but not as if you're going to the gym.
After the TV show, you'll start your show. Remember that at the end of this, either you've fucked him, you are only friends or he decides to cut you off. So, play accordingly.
You'll say something about his body and his diet, like you like his torso, he has very good abs, that you like something of him and you want to have the same. Don't be a sissy saying that you don't like something of you. Then you say that you'd like to see those specific muscles of him, there is a good light and it's better than in the gym. Make a connection with what happens in the gym, so if he is embarrassed tell him that you've been naked many times together, you are between men and there is nothing to be ashamed of. The goal is to have him shirtless, and you should be shirtless too, maybe saying something like his abs are better than yours, or your legs are better than his, the more you are undressed the better.
At this point, if he is gay he will got the bait, but it's possible that he is embarrassed, confused or that he is a straight man, so after some reciprocal checking out, you should say something like 'OK, my whatever is bigger than your whatever, but your dick is bigger'. If he is surprised, tell him there is nothing to be ashamed of, you've been often in the shower together, why don't you check this out? If he is doubtful, insist on the men being men thing, and once he takes his dick out, as soon as one of you starts having an hard on, say that this is a better way to compare, go on your knees and start sucking him, as he could be a straight curious man and you have to provide a comfortable setting for him.
LOL....your response may be a little bit too harsh....but i do agree....i would NOT approach the situation in this manner....I actually like Casper72's approach described above....just ask him if he's ever been interested in another man. Again...no judgement here....just trying to help a brother out......
Points of view. It seems to me that they have a good physical connection, and that the OP is not very good in approaching this person in a different way, so it's better to work on what we already have available. Yes, it is a bit risky, but, just out of curiosity how many partners did you have in your life, to say with such assertiveness that this is the worst approach?
This thread is great. We are all rooting for you St. Raphael. Keep us posted—don’t be shy and move forward with it. You’ve got this!!
Love this thread! And really do wish you luck
I actually think it was really cool you asked him about circumcision, but don’t be disheartened by his response and the fact he didn’t talk your or his wangs. He’s a med student after all so it tapped into that mindset, and I know any mates of mine that are medics....when you ask something medical they turn into the ultimate professional.
Like a lot of the guys say be honest with him, about the fact you like guys and guage his response from there. It’ll open up a convo if nothing else, and while it may feel weird saying it, say it along the line of ‘I like hanging out with you man but want to be honest, I like guys, no big deal but I’d rather be honest with you’
I actually think it was really cool you asked him about circumcision, but don’t be disheartened by his response and the fact he didn’t talk your or his wangs. He’s a med student after all so it tapped into that mindset, and I know any mates of mine that are medics....when you ask something medical they turn into the ultimate professional.
Like a lot of the guys say be honest with him, about the fact you like guys and guage his response from there. It’ll open up a convo if nothing else, and while it may feel weird saying it, say it along the line of ‘I like hanging out with you man but want to be honest, I like guys, no big deal but I’d rather be honest with you’
I think some suggestions are making this too complicated or complex. A simple "are you married or partnered" (while soaping up your groin in the shower) may go a long way and allow for some follow up chat. @Saint Raphael is already having a hard time approaching the subject, so it needs to be casual and "breezy" -- here is an example of what or what not to do from the TV show Friends
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