Real life college experiences in a super conservative college

[ndamood4sum]

Yeah Jake had Jessica. And in all my self focused story telling I forgot to include that They dated for awhile. IRL Jake and I were only roommates freshman year. His sophomore year he did a semester abroad in the spring and my junior year I did one own junior year in the fall. So there was a point in our friendship where we didn’t see each other. But hearing about Jake’s trip while he was there encouraged me to go. I had to wait until I was a junior as all my classes were a part 1 part 2. I waited until I didn’t need both semesters of class. Also IFL Jake dated and married a girl on my trip abroad. They’re still married and have four kids.

So was this the one and only time you guys shared a room together or did you guys room together after christmas break too?

 

[hungstoner80]

So was this the one and only time you guys shared a room together or did you guys room together after christmas break too?

We had two semesters together. There’s post Christmas break stories

 

[FrankieGuile]

That is how I was raised. My family was then and still is today deeply religious. I sort of go into it during my chapters. But I did have a faith struggle oddly enough at a school environment that would have discouraged any of this. I wasn’t really allowed to think for myself. My life was dictated for me. My freshman year of college is me peeling back some of those layers. In later chapters you’ll see more of this struggle. My first semester was about exploring life and figuring out things about myself I never knew. That being that I was bisexual. I never knew how to handle this. Also keep in mind I was in high school in the late 90’s. I couldn’t name one gay person I actually knew. I saw all my thoughts about guys as “devil trying to tempt me”. I was still attracted to women and so I figured it just must be a way to tempt me. So that’s the point of the conservative theme. It’s necessary for the plot.

Fast forward to today and my family is still very conservative. I came out to them 5 years ago. I have a boyfriend of almost three years. They refuse to accept any of that. They’ve said very hurtful down right nasty things to me. Their current reaction is what kept me in the closet for all those years.

See my reply to @TwinkCrush

 

[Jake1973]

Thank you for what you said about my family. I got the reaction from them I had expected. For them God is more important than family. And for them God says I’m bad. So they must go with what God says. I always knew it was a battle I wouldn’t win. I think that was the biggest reason I never came out until much later in life. Well at 38.

I have family who moved to LA before I was even born. I went out to visit them one summer. I think I was in Hollywood, when j saw this. It was a store/business with a rainbow flag. In my world that was never seen. And I had a thought pop in my head “if I lived here I could be gay”. At the time that startled me and was another moment of “scaring me straight”.

I won’t knock on religion. I’m still a believer. I just don’t chose to be so close minded and so rigid as my upbringing taught me to be. I see a God of love, mercy and grace. My family sees a God that is waiting for them to screw up and strike them dead. So they think they must be as perfect as possible. Whereas I feel God knows we’re going to mess all this stuff up. But He loves us still. That’s not what you’ll see preached on a wide scale level. But I feel it’s more accurate.

Sorry for the “sermon”.

Yeah I also escaped an oppressive religion and found one that celebrates every type of human, but I am lucky and grateful that my family supported my choices. I'm sorry your experience was so different.

 

[hungstoner80]

Yeah I also escaped an oppressive religion and found one that celebrates every type of human, but I am lucky and grateful that my family supported my choices. I'm sorry your experience was so different.

Thanks. I wish it had went differently. However I knew it wouldn’t be any different than it was. As tough as it is I’ve had to accept my family foe what they are. Which means I’ve put up tons and tons and tons of barriers. Sadly they don’t get to experience much of my life. But that is the decision they made. I can’t change their minds but rather my reaction. It’s the best way I could cope with it and be able to live my life.

I’m glad you found an accepting place! It feels good doesn’t it! Like a warm hug.

 

[bslak]

Thank you for what you said about my family. I got the reaction from them I had expected. For them God is more important than family. And for them God says I’m bad. So they must go with what God says. I always knew it was a battle I wouldn’t win. I think that was the biggest reason I never came out until much later in life. Well at 38.

I have family who moved to LA before I was even born. I went out to visit them one summer. I think I was in Hollywood, when j saw this. It was a store/business with a rainbow flag. In my world that was never seen. And I had a thought pop in my head “if I lived here I could be gay”. At the time that startled me and was another moment of “scaring me straight”.

I won’t knock on religion. I’m still a believer. I just don’t chose to be so close minded and so rigid as my upbringing taught me to be. I see a God of love, mercy and grace. My family sees a God that is waiting for them to screw up and strike them dead. So they think they must be as perfect as possible. Whereas I feel God knows we’re going to mess all this stuff up. But He loves us still. That’s not what you’ll see preached on a wide scale level. But I feel it’s more accurate.

Sorry for the “sermon”.

Your story is inspirational and relatable for many. I too am bi...but, unlike you never had the confidence to explore in my late teens and twenties. Wish I had, but can't unwind time. It wasn't until I was in my 30s I accepted myself as bi and even then not openly. So, I admire you completely. God doesn't judge you as your family wants you to believe...your family are sinners too (we all are), so they shouldn't judge you if they believe you being bi is a sin (which is it not). God accepts those who show grace, humility and love to others and God doesn't want you to live in fear of Him or His perceived consequences. Be yourself, enjoy the sexual preference God gifted you, and forgive your family for their own shortcomings. I wish I had a roommate like Jake to give me the courage I lacked then...and I would have likely been jumping his bones and pleasuring his tool, body, etc. daily (as I hope your story soon reveals).

Final point, I think being bi may be the hardest...one day you want pussy and nice tits and the next the cock and hot, tight ass of a dude...some days both.... On the other hand, it keeps things exciting.

 

[hungstoner80]

Your story is inspirational and relatable for many. I too am bi...but, unlike you never had the confidence to explore in my late teens and twenties. Wish I had, but can't unwind time. It wasn't until I was in my 30s I accepted myself as bi and even then not openly. So, I admire you completely. God doesn't judge you as your family wants you to believe...your family are sinners too (we all are), so they shouldn't judge you if they believe you being bi is a sin (which is it not). God accepts those who show grace, humility and love to others and God doesn't want you to live in fear of Him or His perceived consequences. Be yourself, enjoy the sexual preference God gifted you, and forgive your family for their own shortcomings. I wish I had a roommate like Jake to give me the courage I lacked then...and I would have likely been jumping his bones and pleasuring his tool, body, etc. daily (as I hope your story soon reveals).

Final point, I think being bi may be the hardest...one day you want pussy and nice tits and the next the cock and hot, tight ass of a dude...some days both.... On the other hand, it keeps things exciting.

I’m glad it’s been so inspiring to you and really others. I didn’t do too much exploring other than what’s in here. At the I wouldn’t even have called it exploring. I truthfully was so neive about all things sexual. In the next couple chapters I’ll learn what a bj is. I didn’t know. At the time I was just being more open and free with my body. Something I was never allowed to do growing up. I came out late(r) in life. Honestly I didn’t know I had a bigger than average dick, I never had a handjob or a girlfriend or feeling for a guy I couldn’t explain.

I came out to my family at 38. I made the decision to tell them because I had a boyfriend at the time and I thought they should know. They flipped out. But again that’s on them, not me. That’s how I came to fully understand my bisexuality. I’d watch movies and often felt as attracted to the women lead as the man. Going to therapy I said I thought I might be bisexual. My therapist had me sit at a neutral location and write down attractive qualities for men and women. By doing so I allowed myself to see men as j saw women. It was super freeing.

So here’s to all the bisexuals , we’re super cool!

 

[FrankieGuile]

I’m glad it’s been so inspiring to you and really others. I didn’t do too much exploring other than what’s in here. At the I wouldn’t even have called it exploring. I truthfully was so neive about all things sexual. In the next couple chapters I’ll learn what a bj is. I didn’t know. At the time I was just being more open and free with my body. Something I was never allowed to do growing up. I came out late(r) in life. Honestly I didn’t know I had a bigger than average dick, I never had a handjob or a girlfriend or feeling for a guy I couldn’t explain.

I came out to my family at 38. I made the decision to tell them because I had a boyfriend at the time and I thought they should know. They flipped out. But again that’s on them, not me. That’s how I came to fully understand my bisexuality. I’d watch movies and often felt as attracted to the women lead as the man. Going to therapy I said I thought I might be bisexual. My therapist had me sit at a neutral location and write down attractive qualities for men and women. By doing so I allowed myself to see men as j saw women. It was super freeing.

So here’s to all the bisexuals , we’re super cool!

Some day, maybe some day, we'll identify as individuals, some of us being "super cool" and some being insufferable jerks, just like a great many other individuals who share a common gender, sexual preference, religion, ideology, race or ethnicity, and have personal challenges and triumphs that are unique to each of us but do not make us special.

 

[HH2112687]

@hungstoner80, any more to the story? Did you and Jake ever do anything or am I jumping the gun?

 

[SouthernGuy1223]

I’m glad it’s been so inspiring to you and really others. I didn’t do too much exploring other than what’s in here. At the I wouldn’t even have called it exploring. I truthfully was so neive about all things sexual. In the next couple chapters I’ll learn what a bj is. I didn’t know. At the time I was just being more open and free with my body. Something I was never allowed to do growing up. I came out late(r) in life. Honestly I didn’t know I had a bigger than average dick, I never had a handjob or a girlfriend or feeling for a guy I couldn’t explain.

I came out to my family at 38. I made the decision to tell them because I had a boyfriend at the time and I thought they should know. They flipped out. But again that’s on them, not me. That’s how I came to fully understand my bisexuality. I’d watch movies and often felt as attracted to the women lead as the man. Going to therapy I said I thought I might be bisexual. My therapist had me sit at a neutral location and write down attractive qualities for men and women. By doing so I allowed myself to see men as j saw women. It was super freeing.

So here’s to all the bisexuals , we’re super cool!

Very stoked to read the next chapters!

 

[hungstoner80]

Very stoked to read the next chapters!

Stoked or stroked… haha

 

[SouthernGuy1223]

Stoked or stroked… haha

Either/or, lol

 

[W4y0ut]

Yeah Jake had Jessica. And in all my self focused story telling I forgot to include that They dated for awhile. IRL Jake and I were only roommates freshman year. His sophomore year he did a semester abroad in the spring and my junior year I did one own junior year in the fall. So there was a point in our friendship where we didn’t see each other. But hearing about Jake’s trip while he was there encouraged me to go. I had to wait until I was a junior as all my classes were a part 1 part 2. I waited until I didn’t need both semesters of class. Also IFL Jake dated and married a girl on my trip abroad. They’re still married and have four kids.

Sorry to ask, but in all of this, nothing ever happened between you and Jake or with any other guy, right?"

 

[hungstoner80]

Sorry to ask, but in all of this, nothing ever happened between you and Jake or with any other guy, right?"

Something happens with another guy. And then another also happens to someone I don’t even know and that leads to the moral dilemma I was experiencing back then. I promise there is a goal I’m writing towards.

 

[alexsopim]

Something happens with another guy. And then another also happens to someone I don’t even know and that leads to the moral dilemma I was experiencing back then. I promise there is a goal I’m writing towards.

So it wasn't because of Jake that you found out you're bi?"

 

[SouthernGuy1223]

Respectfully, why don’t we just wait for him to write the next chapter? Spoilers my guys. Let him tell his story how he wants to tell it

 

[TwinkCrush]

Thank you for what you said about my family. I got the reaction from them I had expected. For them God is more important than family. And for them God says I’m bad. So they must go with what God says. I always knew it was a battle I wouldn’t win. I think that was the biggest reason I never came out until much later in life. Well at 38.

I have family who moved to LA before I was even born. I went out to visit them one summer. I think I was in Hollywood, when j saw this. It was a store/business with a rainbow flag. In my world that was never seen. And I had a thought pop in my head “if I lived here I could be gay”. At the time that startled me and was another moment of “scaring me straight”.

I won’t knock on religion. I’m still a believer. I just don’t chose to be so close minded and so rigid as my upbringing taught me to be. I see a God of love, mercy and grace. My family sees a God that is waiting for them to screw up and strike them dead. So they think they must be as perfect as possible. Whereas I feel God knows we’re going to mess all this stuff up. But He loves us still. That’s not what you’ll see preached on a wide scale level. But I feel it’s more accurate.

Sorry for the “sermon”.

Really like and appreciate your response to my comment. Thank you.

 

[Jake1973]

Respectfully, why don’t we just wait for him to write the next chapter? Spoilers my guys. Let him tell his story how he wants to tell it

As a writer in self-imposed exile... THIS.

 

[Typhoonbob]

can’t get enough of this! glad your back writing! good luck w/ your classes !!

 

[hungstoner80]

Chapter 35

Running up to Ashley's 4Runner she gets out and gives me a hug I giver here a kiss. Almost wanting to say the "L" word. I refrain

"Let's go, I'm starving!" I said with total excitement.

Theres this little mom and pop diner called Tommy's Diner and they sell your typical southern good home cooking. Think Cracker Barrel only much much smaller. On the way I'm dreaming of the biscuits. I had went one other time with Jake when I had a class that got cancelled. Although I did not grow up in the south or really knew much about it, I loved southern cooking. It's a pretty quick trip from Campus so we don't talk that much. Ashley parks, we walk over I get the door for her and the lady behind us. We grab a seat at the counter Looking over the menus.

"What do you think you're gonna get Daniel?"

Looking it over for the most vegetarian item I could find. "I think I'm going to do this spinach and cheese omelet with home fries."

"Oooo good idea, I'm going with the Texan omelet" she says chuckling "Not sure what makes it Texan, but I'm about to find out".

After that's sorted out, I reach out and hold her hand on the counter. Taking in the moment that here I was having breakfast with my girlfriend! Feeling equally proud and happy I say.

"Im gonna really miss you... It's going to be like three weeks! And we'll be almost on opposite parts of the country."

Looking over Ashley says "I'm gonna miss you to Daniel" (and I could tell she really meant it). "But we'll call each other and I wanna hear all about your Christmas! Like what presents you get... if you and Alex make it snowboarding... if you get snow make sure you take a picture (before camera phones this was with an actual camera), I wanna see pictures, I know we won't be having a white Christmas!"

"You really wanna see snow! I wish I could bring you some back! We'll have plenty I"m sure my dad would let you have all you can take with you back too Texas! I'm looking forward to it. I haven't been home since I left in August....." (I spent Thanksgiving week at my uncle's in Nashville)."

Interrupting Ashley says "I bet your family is gonna be happy to have you home. Well I know your mom will be."

I start to get this feeling almost as if she's asking me to invite her home for the holidays as she's been talking up snow and winter and how that must look like "real Christmas". As the waitress pours our coffees I blurt out

"You should come visit!" I said surprised that come out of my mouth.

"Really Daniel! You sure! Oh, I'd love to!" she says with glee.

Now sitting there realizing you just invited a girl to your house over the holidays with your family in the winter stuck indoors. Knowing I couldn't back out now. I proceeded forward.

"Of, course, I could pick you up from the airport, depending on when you come I may be in Pittsburgh visiting my grandparents, I could show you around!"

Our food arrived and it was every bit of what I had imagined. I gobbled up every bite slurped down cup of coffee after cup of coffee while we talked about the details. It was determined that when Ashely could come I would be in Pittsburgh. Typically my parents stayed at their house I had one aunt there and she hosted my mom's brother and my uncle from Nashville always stayed at a hotel. Which left plenty of room for me to invite Ashely along. I stood up to pay the check, Ashley gets our coats. We head back dorm so Jake and Sherri can take me to the airport. Sitting in the parking lot we started to kiss and began to make out, after all this was THE last time we'd see each other in what would feel like forever! Per usual I had a massive boner and at this point in our relationship didn't care if she saw. She pauses, looks at the clock on the dashboard and then down to my crotch.

"Daniel, you better hurry, but I'm really gonna miss you and I'm gonna miss that too" as she points downward.

Honestly I loved hearing her say that. For the most part we had a pretty typical good Christian relationship, but there were times like now when it felt good to be bad. Giving her one last kiss goodbye.

"Good bye Ashley, tell your family Merry Christmas from me and I'll see you in Pittsburgh!"

"Bye Daniel and Merry Christmas to you!"

I run up to our room, as I open the door I see Jake is fully dressed and "reading" a Victory Secret catalog. He looks up as I walk in. Seeing the big smile on my face.

"Dude tell me she ordered a side of Daniel's breakfast sausage?" Jake says

"No, not this time.. but I think I'm really starting to like her Jake... I almost said the "L" word today! And somehow I invited her back home to visit me...". I said forgetting to add in the fact that Ashley said she'd miss my boner.

Interrupting "You invited her to Columbus .... with your family?"

Responding "Well yeah but I'll actually be in Pittsburgh visiting my grandparents, and she's gonna fly there."

Jake smiling back "Well look at you Daniel... got yourself a lady and bringing her home to mom! You pick out a ring yet?"

Admittedly the idea had crossed my mind. I had already heard of several Freshman who were already engaged after meeting their boyfriend/girlfriends that same semester. So the idea wasn't totally foreign. Now grabbing all my things and putting them by the door. Jake had his there already. Looking one last time around the room. Checking for my wallet, keys, and plane ticket.

"I'm ready Jake"