Should I change my appearance? I'm tired of the double standards & discrimination online....

[deleted8143341]

Tbh I wouldn't care tbh, I'm glad to be myself, I don't want to fall into the same shallow pool that most IG gays and Twitter or OF gays fall in since it's very looks and sex based and I don't want that for myself, I've never been someone myself tho to want to be widely popular since I prefer being more low-key and myself, I honestly get anxiety when I get alot of attention so I prefer closer knit circles, saves myself time since I'm very guarded after numerous bad experiences I've had with friends and people alike

Yeah, that's true. I guess it's just a fantasy of mine. I don't really have many friends in real life, all of my friends are online (girls and guys), and even though I have never met them in person, they have been the best friends I have ever had. On the other hand, the guys I have slept with over the years and have had sex with (something that's supposed to be so intimate) pales so much in comparison to that. Like I am sure I will probably make friends out of these guys if I were a muscle jock or scruffy cub/otter/bear, etc. lol.

But even then, being in a relationship from the outside looking in doesn't impress me xD it doesn't guarantee anything so I never understand why having a partner is a bragging right, maybe if it's guaranteed to last but that's tougher to find these days

Yeah ikr. I don't really care if I end up with a lifelong partner. Tbh though I really do want some in real life friends, that would be so nice.

 

[Evenflow618]

Start working out and shift your mentality to feeling desirable. Tell yourself that you feel and look good. You have the most confidence. Real positive physical affirmations about yourself in the mirror for 21 days straight day and night. Come back and tell us how you feel about yourself after

 

[Willaaaaay]

I'm perfectly fine with how I look; my problem is that so many people ostracize me and even abuse me when they can't force me to change my personality or my looks to fit their mold.
But me walking away and cutting them out my life is apparently too much for them to handle - take my mother for example.
I'm 25 and literally have to ask permission from my own mother to leave the house.
I was talking to my next door neighbor for 5 minutes, and my mom started shouting at me, "I'm your mother! You need to tell me everywhere you're going!"

She's 59, I'm 25, and we've never gotten along - then again, my family never got along with me because they defend her abusive behavior, by saying, "Family is family."
We have different beliefs in every way.

So I'm hatching a plan with my abusive best friend (not saying what it is in a public forum such as this), but she's the only ally I have at this point.
All my closest friends live several states away, and are either married or recently single, and some of them have children - so it would be rude of me to ask if I can live with them (since a lot of people's first question for me is, 'Do you have any friends you can live with?').

Honestly I think it all starts from your mom. If you have a narcissist mother who mentally-“/physically abuse you and you feel helpless often times that will portray in your dating life as well. Also I think you have a certain type/preference and those couches guys seem to all be the same. Sometime you have to try six ething new to get new results. You keep going for the jock/athlete/muscle body builder guys and they almost always end up struggling with their sexuality, are vague and all about looks/status or overall crazy so yes your going to get the same result

 

[6798491]

Honestly I think it all starts from your mom. If you have a narcissist mother who mentally-“/physically abuse you and you feel helpless often times that will portray in your dating life as well. Also I think you have a certain type/preference and those couches guys seem to all be the same. Sometime you have to try six ething new to get new results. You keep going for the jock/athlete/muscle body builder guys and they almost always end up struggling with their sexuality, are vague and all about looks/status or overall crazy so yes your going to get the same result

That's a brilliant point.
I'm polyamorous & prefer interracial relationships (it's a big deal in my family - my family is racist and looks down on me because I don't date black men).
And my mother is not only a narcissist, she's a psychopath & has Munchausen's Syndrome By Proxy.
So you're definitely right about the link between narcissistic mothers and their children's dating lives.

I've dated more than jocks though - I've also dated a ballet teacher, a gang member who was dependent on me (my longest relationship - 6 years - long story short, I'm glad I dumped him), a Midwestern guy who was physical toward his mother (I dumped him because he tried to lie and say he was in anger management - Violence is never the answer; I'm a pacifist), the owner of a skating business, and many more guys.
But they all had a vice or were dependent on me for something: either healing, a sense of peace, or sobriety.

After all those crazy exes, I am in a happy, polyamorous (although long distance) relationship now.
I have 4 boyfriends and I'm actually proposing to one of them next month, for our 1 year anniversary.

 

[deleted18388141]

You can start questionning your look choices that s just “fashion and taste”
But i would say dig more into the patterns you fall into and the social circles you keep going to..
More reflexion is needed