So it's either gay or straight? No room for bisexuality or pansexuality?

[Beachboiethan]

This post is in response to the countless comments on a content creators sexuality because they post content with both men and women. It was going to be in response to one specific posted comment but I didn't want to single out one person as they are not only person or comment I've seen posted that invalidates bisexuality and pansexuality. Am I alone in thinking this way? Have a read and let me know.

Is it really that black and white? Are we really still operating under the assumption that someone can only have relationships with one gender or the other? Is it not possible for someone to love and be attracted to both men and women? The erasure of bisexual and pansexual identities, especially within the queer community, is frustrating, to say the least.

This constant assumption that all bisexual men are simply "closeted" gay men who haven't come to terms with their true identities drives me crazy. Maybe a gay man or a straight man, much like anyone else, just can't understand the full spectrum of attraction that someone who is bisexual feels—the ability to be drawn to both penises and vaginas, and the pleasures each brings. And if they don't get it? Fine. We all experience attraction differently. But that doesn't give anyone the right to invalidate or minimize someone else’s experience.

The queer community has fought tirelessly for the rights and freedoms we enjoy today. From marriage equality to the ability to live authentically without fear of persecution, the progress we've made has been hard-won. We’ve earned spaces where we can share, talk, and even debate openly about our experiences with sexuality and identity.

But here's the thing: when members of our own community reject or invalidate others based on their sexual identity—whether that's bisexuality, pansexuality, or anything else—it does a disservice to us all. It undermines the very essence of what we’ve been fighting for: acceptance, love, and the freedom to be ourselves, no matter what that looks like.

So, let's stop policing each other's identities. Let's accept, even if we don't always understand. Because the fight for equality and acceptance isn’t just about fighting the outside world—it’s about ensuring that we create spaces where everyone, regardless of their sexual preferences, feels seen, heard, and valued.

We’ve come this far. Let’s not turn on each other now.

 

[WilliamG]

Let me just say these gay vs bi vs straight vs curious vs whatever the flavor of the month topics never end well here. Do a search on it.

 

[Beachboiethan]

Let me just say these gay vs bi vs straight vs curious vs whatever the flavor of the month topics never end well here. Do a search on it.

I have seen the comments on posts and the back and forth debating someone's sexuality or declaration of sexual identity. Hence this post.

I personally believe that we need to do better at accepting others for who they say they are within the queer community. It's not our place to judge and assign labels. It's hard for many of us to come to a place where we are comfortable and able to acknowledge who we are. We shouldn't have to worry about facing added judgement, ridicule or feel invalidated by others within the community.

Do I think this post is going to change things? Not likely. But maybe, just maybe someone might look at things in a different light as a result.

 

[WilliamG]

I have seen the comments on posts and the back and forth debating someone's sexuality or declaration of sexual identity. Hence this post.

I personally believe that we need to do better at accepting others for who they say they are within the queer community. It's not our place to judge and assign labels. It's hard for many of us to come to a place where we are comfortable and able to acknowledge who we are. We shouldn't have to worry about facing added judgement, ridicule or feel invalidated by others within the community.

Do I think this post is going to change things? Not likely. But maybe, just maybe someone might look at things in a different light as a result.

This is a thread you might be interested in then: Bi Acceptance...

 

[bigboaster]

I have seen the comments on posts and the back and forth debating someone's sexuality or declaration of sexual identity. Hence this post.

I personally believe that we need to do better at accepting others for who they say they are within the queer community. It's not our place to judge and assign labels. It's hard for many of us to come to a place where we are comfortable and able to acknowledge who we are. We shouldn't have to worry about facing added judgement, ridicule or feel invalidated by others within the community.

Do I think this post is going to change things? Not likely. But maybe, just maybe someone might look at things in a different light as a result.

It won't. Ignorance l, disrespect and bigotry towards bisexuals is a staple of this website unfortunately. Black and white thinking plagues many here.

As well as an obsession with pinning labels into people. And general obsession with the way people choose to identify and who they sleep with privately, particularly in the case of porn performers. It's bizarre

 

[Ghjgfy]

Just fuck whatever makes your dick hard, who cares. Stop giving attention to what others say

 

[Beachboiethan]

Just fuck whatever makes your dick hard, who cares. Stop giving attention to what others say

It’s not about being worried about what they say. It’s more maybe a pointless effort to hopefully help someone understand what they are doing to others. Saying nothing only helps perpetuate it.

 

[elklindoxxx]

It’s not about being worried about what they say. It’s more maybe a pointless effort to hopefully help someone understand what they are doing to others. Saying nothing only helps perpetuate it.

It will always be a pointless effort to explain such things to certain people.

My partner and I have never come out as being bisexual, nor would they understand why we go with other couples. We are not going to tell other people that I go hang and hang out at the Jerk off club once a month. Or that my partner blew three guys off at once at a couples event, there are wives who have never performed oral sex once in their entire lives. Some people are so ignorant that it would blow their minds.

We don't even bother.....

 

[michael_3165]

I say ID however you want. Just don't demand I go along with you.

 

[Beachboiethan]

I say ID however you want. Just don't demand I go along with you.

Can you elaborate on this? What do you mean by demanding you go along with it?

 

[michael_3165]

Can you elaborate on this? What do you mean by demanding you go along with it?

I am not into this idea thay I must acknowledge how you "feel". In my view I'd you like men and women you are bi, men only = gay, women =only straight, or asexual.

All these additional versions will be acknowledged as one of those.

Again if you wanna say you're pan etc by all means go wild. But I've gone beyond worrying about all these additional ones. Same as I won't abide the term "queer" as its a slur from my teenage years and just no.

 

[Beachboiethan]

I am not into this idea thay I must acknowledge how you "feel". In my view I'd you like men and women you are bi, men only = gay, women =only straight, or asexual.

All these additional versions will be acknowledged as one of those.

Again if you wanna say you're pan etc by all means go wild. But I've gone beyond worrying about all these additional ones. Same as I won't abide the term "queer" as its a slur from my teenage years and just no.

I can agree with the term "queer" along with "the f-word". I used "queer" as it is more encompassing term for some.

As I bisexual man, I have been told by straights and gays that I need to "just choose a side" that I'm just confused. I have seen the same kind of thing here on content creator's threads.

I am just asking for a little more compassion and acceptance and less judgement. I know it a big ask but if we don't talk about it, or just sit back and accept it, then things can't and won't change.

 

[michael_3165]

I can agree with the term "queer" along with "the f-word". I used "queer" as it is more encompassing term for some.

As I bisexual man, I have been told by straights and gays that I need to "just choose a side" that I'm just confused. I have seen the same kind of thing here on content creator's threads.

I am just asking for a little more compassion and acceptance and less judgement. I know it a big ask but if we don't talk about it, or just sit back and accept it, then things can't and won't change.

I get that. The f-word is a big no no for me. It's taboo on the UK, rightly.

I have compassion and acceptance. As I said, people can do what they like.

 

[Rooker]

I can agree with the term "queer" along with "the f-word". I used "queer" as it is more encompassing term for some.

As I bisexual man, I have been told by straights and gays that I need to "just choose a side" that I'm just confused. I have seen the same kind of thing here on content creator's threads.

I am just asking for a little more compassion and acceptance and less judgement. I know it a big ask but if we don't talk about it, or just sit back and accept it, then things can't and won't change.

The people telling you to choose a side are people you don’t need to listen to. Nobody needs to give a fuck how you roll with other consenting adults.

The label thing only serves a boundary purpose. I’m straight. All me saying it means is that it’s a sign I do not want sexual activity with a male. That’s it.

Bisexuality seems way more common then people admit, so it’s surprising that people struggle with you feeling that way.

 

[Antkelly]

This post is in response to the countless comments on a content creators sexuality because they post content with both men and women. It was going to be in response to one specific posted comment but I didn't want to single out one person as they are not only person or comment I've seen posted that invalidates bisexuality and pansexuality. Am I alone in thinking this way? Have a read and let me know.

Is it really that black and white? Are we really still operating under the assumption that someone can only have relationships with one gender or the other? Is it not possible for someone to love and be attracted to both men and women? The erasure of bisexual and pansexual identities, especially within the queer community, is frustrating, to say the least.

This constant assumption that all bisexual men are simply "closeted" gay men who haven't come to terms with their true identities drives me crazy. Maybe a gay man or a straight man, much like anyone else, just can't understand the full spectrum of attraction that someone who is bisexual feels—the ability to be drawn to both penises and vaginas, and the pleasures each brings. And if they don't get it? Fine. We all experience attraction differently. But that doesn't give anyone the right to invalidate or minimize someone else’s experience.

The queer community has fought tirelessly for the rights and freedoms we enjoy today. From marriage equality to the ability to live authentically without fear of persecution, the progress we've made has been hard-won. We’ve earned spaces where we can share, talk, and even debate openly about our experiences with sexuality and identity.

But here's the thing: when members of our own community reject or invalidate others based on their sexual identity—whether that's bisexuality, pansexuality, or anything else—it does a disservice to us all. It undermines the very essence of what we’ve been fighting for: acceptance, love, and the freedom to be ourselves, no matter what that looks like.

So, let's stop policing each other's identities. Let's accept, even if we don't always understand. Because the fight for equality and acceptance isn’t just about fighting the outside world—it’s about ensuring that we create spaces where everyone, regardless of their sexual preferences, feels seen, heard, and valued.

We’ve come this far. Let’s not turn on each other now.

 

[Beachboiethan]

Care to elaborate on this? What’s your point?

 

[Antkelly]

Care to elaborate on this? What’s your point?

Can you?

 

[Antkelly]

Care to elaborate on this? What’s your point?

There’s room for everything! Not just your thoughts

 

[Beachboiethan]

Can you?

I think my point was pretty well made. Clearly you felt the need to reply with the emojis you did. I think as the person who wrote the post I should be able to ask for clarity as to why. Most of your other comments and posts seem to have some validity to them. I am curious why you felt the need to respond how you did?

If it bored you then why did you keep reading? What compelled you?

 

[Beachboiethan]

There’s room for everything! Not just your thoughts

Yes and? What about my thoughts made you say this? I am honestly trying to understand what you’re saying or getting at.