I've never had a lap dance... I have bought a few for my wife.
It doesn't really turn me on at all. I've never had much desire because the idea of "look but don't touch" seemed like a waste of time.
My wife fantasizes about sexual encounters with women, so seeing her with her hands on tita turnse on, and we've had lots of intense sex after she's received a lap dance.
She has talked about wanting to go to a VIP room and having "more" than a lap dance but we haven't done it yet.